One mans trash?

I was debating what to do next and having a little mini meltdown because I want to get creative and try new things. I currently have the creative role down pat. As much as I want to try new things I am enjoying the little bead caterpillars I have been making and I like that it is *my* style. I wouldn't steal something like that. I mean, how anti-gifted is that?? So here I sit debating leaving my fluffy beadwork for something different when Mr. F asks me if I am entering the hippy wooden bead twine stuff I made in the beginning. Let me explain. One night we were sitting in the living room admiring the wooden beads I had acquired. While wondering what I would use them for I started screwing around with them and some twine. After tying some knots and making half assed "clasps" on them, I thought they would go well with something super casual and put them in my jewelry box. I didn't give them a second thought until Mr. F brought them up. I admit, I scoffed at idea to begin with and then I thought, why the hell not. Sure, it's got that beat up look, but isn't that all the rage in hippyville? Does anyone else remember buying that hemp surfer boy hippy adornments? He's right, the wooden beads are very cool. So, in they go to be entered in the show. You know, worst case scenario it just convinces the viewers I am indeed another normal person without any beading superpowers. Otherwise I'll tell them it's the first piece I ever made and I was clutching it when I came out of the womb.

I don't know what I have against these going in the show. If I am willing to put them on my neck and wrist to be viewed by passerby's, why not on display for a bunch of scrutinizing artsy fartsys? Lord knows I am not above taking people down a notch or ten. Ha! You'd stop me if it sucked as much as I am trying to convince myself it does right?

You know what? Screw that. Next, I am making a bracelet just like the blue one only this one will be purples and blacks. Or maybe browns and golds. For me. Unless someone wants to buy it and then it's for them. There, that's solved. Phew. Now I don't have to stay in this agitated state and cry myself to sleep tonight.

Try, try again.

I have the brilliant idea of making something a little different. Something simpler. Easier. You know, take a little break and just whip some pieces out without having to worry about *complications*. While making this last one I was reminded of every time I looked at a piece of jewelry and thought "seriously, how hard can that be to make? The answer to my contempt filled question was most likely "really f-ing hard you stupid bitch". That would be my answer anyway. :) Lesson learned. Never again will I doubt the length of time something takes to put together.

I just wanted you to know the unending aggravation that was selflessly poured into my last creation. That and a bunch of WHY???! and IS THAT ALL YOU GOT??! The heart chain is untouchable though, you got to admit. I don't know if it was worth the hassle but it came out great. And mission accomplished on looking different eh? Besides, what's the point of making things for an art show if there isn't a little blood and sweat involved? I might even get my hair cut. Something should suffer in a beautiful kind of way. Cryptic shit is so cool.

I am loving this prism slideshow thing... As much as I would love to stare at it for the rest of the night, I must move on to other more important things. I might just make myself something to wear next. I deserve nice things after all. Oh my, I just had a think tank moment. Since they are no longer getting any larger in their planters and it is now warm enough they won't go freezing to death, the seedlings are going in the ground as soon as I am done typing this sentence.

The latest...

Hey, check out how big Tabitha is getting... 27 pounds of fury my friends.















Before we get started I believe in credit where credit is due so... The green was all Mr. F's idea. I don't know what I have against green or why I have been so resistant but it's apparent now I should have listened. Did the JH just profess she should have listened? Oh, what is this cruel world coming to? Am I the only person that automatically links the color green to leprechauns, four leaf clovers, potatoes and Irish brawls?

That's it for now. We might try Tabitha out at dog park today. I figure it's a good time since it's the middle of the week and most people will be at work. That only leaves the fanatical lonely old women and mothers with children. Both of which are overly neurotic about their dogs behavior and how the world sees them. In my mind this means less of a threat that Tabitha will have some traumatic incident that scars her (or me) for life.

So long then.

Another delicious day cooked up by mother nature...

The weather here has been untouchable. We just got home from a good old fashioned back alley walk with the dogs and it was just perfect. Earlier we went for a ride on the Titan to Michael's. There is nothing funnier than roaring (his bike is LOUD man!) into the parking lot with a big bald headed tough looking tattooed guy and then going into a craft store to look at shiny baubles. Promise. Mr. F is now across the parking lot bettering his mothers castle with recessed lighting. What better time to blog?

Today was so satisfying. I groomed a little guy that has obviously been shown getting groomed is the scariest thing you could ever encounter and it's best if you fight for your life. By the end of the session he was still a little freaked out but standing still and letting me do things to him without jumping a mile if I so much as blinked. In my world, that's as close to world peace as you get. Tomorrow I groom the Bichon named Bobbie that is a girl. I'm a big fan of girl dogs with male names. I wanted to name Tabitha Billie but Mr. F knew a Billie and anything in her remembrance is sacrilege in his eyes. Tabitha it is.

The Arabian horse show was pretty neat except for the fact that it was dominated to the point of frustration. I don't want to get into it but I have learned my lesson and that is always very helpful for future reference now isn't it? I got a couple of decent pictures and I will go to the next one without the force that took away some of the goodness I was looking forward to. :) Some of the horses were worth millions and it came across like they knew it.

And then we have the yard... Tabitha has made it her own little puppy mission from God to sneak away when we are not looking and dig holes in the newly acquired grass every chance she gets. So that's cool. I have caught her in the act a few times now so she's getting the picture. I can't really blame her since it IS nice soft fluffy dirt with all the past sifting and big rocks out of the way. It looks like fun too. It's damaging my calm. I have also got to learn how to master the art of sliding the screen door shut. We went ahead and planted the bermuda grass. It's going to be a mixture of rye and bermuda. When the rye dries out in the hot summer months, we'll have the bermuda. When the bermuda goes dormant from the winter chill, we'll have rye. Excellent. So here are some of the plant photos we have. Oh, some more exciting news. The bamboo plant in the atrium has flowered.

And the latest jewelry. But first I would like to give a warning about the last slide show. This one is for you Miss Smith so I'm going to need your full undivided attention. If you don't want to see it until it's in your hands, don't continue watching the slide show after it reads STOP LOOKING NOW. You love it.

I am now going to make more jewelry. The art show is on Saturday! I need four more pieces!! I have so many cool colors and charms and such it's hard to make up my mind on what to make. Over & Out.

HOW did I forget about this???

This link is going in my link section but I thought I would put it here as well. This is some seriously funny shit people. They have added a ton since I was last on the site.

Dog Blog TV

If you can't handle GYN discussions don't read this.

First and foremost guess what I discovered? All the little icons that have always been at the top of the blog entry box. They help you do things more efficiently. Stuff like:

Inserting pictures!

Stop playing in what? Dirt? What dirt? What's dirt? Can you speak up? I can't hear you, I have dirt in my nose.

I don't even want to tell you how long I have been inserting photos through photobucket. How very down of me. :F I now have the Singular Picture Power! Ah ha ha ha ha!! Moving right along...

Yesterday was more than frustrating. Since I haven't performed any good old fashioned drag her out back and kick her in the babymaker tirades as of late, I feel this one is overdue. It doesn't help that I am an emotional shipwreck and borderline hysterical these days. Hang onto your hats, this will probably be longer than it should/could be.

Fuck Planned Parenthood. Honestly, all I want is birth control pills and the type of treatment a decent human being receives. I know I am expecting way to much with the treatment bit, I know, but come the fuck off it with the bad customer service all ready. I get it, dealing with people all day sucks. I feel the exact same about them while they are treating me how I am trying so hard not to treat them. I can't tell you how much I want to be able to throw people on their side and death grip their necks until they heave the sigh of a broken spirit.

Apparently my lady friend is "abnormal" and I need further procedures done to verify what was mistakenly something horrid OR to verify something horrid. I am not big on procedures but I'll get it done with little to no resistance. What I don't want to do is pay exorbitant prices for said procedures if all I have to do is wait a little while longer to get health insurance. PP doesn't care about me or my bank roll. They only care about forcing me to get this procedure done because I am some kind of liability if I don't get it done.

The problem I am having is PP's backward claim to fame. I am constantly reading things about them that scream about my body and my choice. It's like their fucking mantra. That is until there is an actual choice to make, then it's about a one way street constructed so you must double back into the rush hour gridlock traffic formed by withholding the goods red lights until you meet their demands. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate this kind of force when dealing with little teenage C's who just want to one up you and avoid responsibility, I truly can. As I am no longer a little girl staying clear of the inevitable it would be super to receive the benefit of doubt I so deserve.

I was cooperative in going to the free consultation about my abnormalities. I was also not at all bitchy about the usual 45 minute wait in their shabby lobby with the poorly done vinyl graphic cloudy we do things that are not yet okay with the Christians windows. Now I don't know what it is with me and feeling the sudden urge to taunt people when they refuse to communicate with me in a way that is pleasing, but alas, I vigorously provoke the second the wall cannot be breached. It makes "important" people wild with controlled rage. After talking with the doctor about needing a little more time because I don't have health insurance, and explaining (yet again) that I am taking the pill less because of pregnancy issues and due to essentially hemorrhaging every month, she got snippy. This of course lead to me ruthlessly refusing to conform, comply and end the discussion for as long as humanly possible. I had the day off after all.

Dr: We cannot supply any more refills until this procedure is done.

Me: Would you consider not repeating that? After all, I fully grasp what you are saying. I will have the procedure taken care of the second I have health insurance. Until then I am hoping you can assist me with my birth control. It is after all my body and therefor my choice to continue the birth control is it not?

Dr: I am just following procedure Miss Higgins.

Me: And I doubt very much procedure is going to regulate my massive blood loss when I have my period without the pill. I am also concerned about my finances without health insurance. Surely procedure doesn't make you deaf to solid points?

Dr: It is a liability to continue filling your pills without you having the procedure.

Me: What is more of a liability, knowing about my health issues and refusing to supply the remedy or supplying the remedy for a month max while my health insurance to starts? Is it not my body and therefor my choice to wait until my health insurance starts?

Dr: In order for us to refill...

Me: Wait! Wait. Let's try a different angle shall we? Tell me, what would be more frugal, having my pills filled monthly or simply coming in for the morning after pill every time I miss my period? I mean, how much does the morning after pill cost exactly? Do you have a calculator? I'm really bad at math.

I am so into when they try to take back control and tell me the conversation is over and I cheerily respond with something about it being pretty obvious the conversation ended about an hour ago and to have a GREAT day!

The other thing I want to mention is their I am so above you and think I am one step to becoming a doctor even though it's pretty clear I only answer phones for a living receptionists. How much ATTITUDE can one person throw around? Let me tell you, the amount is nothing even close to what I can produce. I am fond of asking to speak with someone who can actually answer my questions because they know what they are talking about. I like to point out that the phone is ringing. I enjoy deflecting all the attitude back at them while keeping composure and using big words until their chest deflates to normalcy instead of the pushed out super hero position they start with. If you are going to take me on, at the very least, have enough brain power to keep up. Or here's one, be nice. I begin nicely. Why is it so hard for these chicks to be amicable?

I know I'm a jerk for all of this. I forgive myself AND I can justify it in my own mind so nothing you can say will make me guilty. That would take a conscience. I also have the gift of self righteousness at moments like this. Man I love me.

The conclusion? Now that I am out west and PP proves to suck way more here than in Boston, find a GYN office that can offer me personal service through (dare I say it?) ONE doctor who will get to know me well enough to see that I am not some lying bitch whore who wants to get only what I want while giving them nothing in return. Solutions kick ass.

One more thing... WE HAVE GRASS!!! It kept us in agitated suspense until last night where it decided to sprout in the darkness while we were soundly sleeping, unaware of it's sudden delightful burst from it's seeds! I'll snap some pictures later. As of right now, I have an equestrian show to attend. Neigh.

Picture this:

Today consisted of driving out toward Superstition Mountain and getting side tracked by the river, Saguaro Lake and promises of fun trails to hike. The lake/river part threw me for a second. However, the promise was true and we had a great time. Tabitha had about 60% of our 100% good time as she stepped on some jumping cactus the size of her foot and had it stuck all in her paws up to her hock. I, being the clueless imbecile I so often am, kept wondering what her problem was and told her to keep up. It was when I saw she couldn't get up the hill that I made a point to see what was going on. How long the little trooper had it in her foot one will never know. There is a silver lining here. While I was holding and comforting and Mr. F was pulling all those deeply embedded spines out, she had time to cry and sniff at the perpetrators lodged in her little puppy foot. After that she was sniffing where we went and whenever we came upon some stickers, she refused to go forward. SMARTY PANTS ALERT!

Okay, this is what I have so far... wait. The puppies dug up one of my seedlings (*sob*) so it's not looking as good as it could. I could and would blame Mr. F for this as he was watching them but I find it hard to resent someone so wonderful. This reminds me that I need to get a picture of the next door neighbors dog Cheetoh, who is officially Tabitha's BFF. He comes over once a week and we babysit. It's worth it since Tabitha LOVES him and she's wiped the day after he visits. They are hysterical to watch as they puppy tumble around the house. So pictures of Cheetoh and the new hummingbird feeders are needed. I tried to get the seedlings in some kind of order. Whatever.

Elephant food plants, the backyard, Mr. & Mrs. Hummer and seedlings:

I admit, I went a little crazy with the yellow flowers. Can you blame me? It's a shock to see something so pretty amongst the unforgiving terrain out here. How I long for the woods I used to walk in. I never worried about death or pain. The only worry I had was making it to the woods so I would have hours to walk before the sun set. Ah me. It has been raining quite a bit though and the usual brown and tan desert has become lush and green. Maybe the drought has passed? That way we could be snake bit surrounded by plant life instead of a land that resembles walking on the fucking moon. Well well well, this could turn into a pouty little rant now couldn't it? I'm done complaining. The desert landscape has beauty all of it's own and I appreciate it for that.

The Arabian Horse Show is finally in town and we will be attending it as soon as Mr. F's mom gets back from beautiful red rock Sedona. I am going to do my best at remembering the camera. It's touch and go as you well know. I'm a horse fan so I am super excited about this.

I have chicken soup to make. I must stop bragging and promising things...

Procrastination = Being super helpful

If you aren't sure how to go about cleaning your computer screen, here's a helpful suggestion.

My little helper...

So get this. The hummingbird out back is keeping the other birds from eating our seeds. He RULES. A little girl hummer agrees. They have been flying about and perching next to one another all morning. Oh yeah, and she's FAT. Maybe preggers? I am loving today! Once this yard is complete, I am going to make a slide show of it from start to finish. BAD ASS!

Okay, back to turning this place inside out for cleaning purposes. Thank you for helping me procrastinate.

If I were a rock, where would I be?

In my back yard! Mr. F has decided that if we are going to plant grass in the backyard, first we need to get rid of the rocks. Well, more like get them at least six to eight inches below the surface of nice soft dirt. Who wants to walk on rocky grass with bare feet? He is also going to put in a couple grassy knolls and the last thing you want when lying in the grass reading your book is nasty uncooperative rocks digging into your back. So. He built himself a sifter and started digging. Holy rocks Batman! No seriously. I took some pictures but I don't think they do the job explaining since you just have to look at them. Three days worth of sifting and digging explains it much better. I helped a little today when I inwardly freaked out about how little sun the front of the house gets. Not cool when you need hot full sun all day. My seedlings (which are coming up nicely btw, the last container started today!) need that to stay beautiful. The lavender might be dragged from it's new home and put out back if they prove to need more sun. So. I thought approaching the subject while Mr. F was hot and tired would be the way to SUCCESS! I sort of bit back my screams of hate and bitterness when I started making the bed. Since my flowers are noxious things that will take over the entire yard I wanted a nice rock border. Lucky me, we have millions of rocks right? I also thought my idea was a great one since it made a nice place for a bunch of the rocks, getting them out of Mr. F's way. I have a new profound respect for him. I made a tiny little flower bed. I am completely wiped out with a headache and sore back. He's sifting the entire fucking yard people. He started Saturday... half the yard is done. Of course I am constantly there to remind him the rocks can stay where they are and I am also fully capable of coming out of nowhere and saying we should make the flower bed out back after all, which will mean moving a ton of sifted dirt over a bit. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't whacked me with the shovel a couple of times. I would have. Although, I don't know who would be making the yard a wondrous and beautiful place were it not for me, so maybe holding back on shovel whacks is a solid plan. Two beautiful hummingbird feeders are on their way and the flower garden is going to be BAD ASS. You'll see. I also got this super cheap decoration. Don't tell Mr. F. He has no idea and it's going to be a surprise I believe he'll enjoy.

I forgot to blog this oh so blogworthy bit of info. I totally helped catch a stray dog the other morning. He was trucking around in heavy traffic so I stopped to see if he would consider going for a ride with the James and I. No go and back into traffic. I couldn't take it and pulled over the further asses the situation. You know how one person can get the ball rolling just by looking interested? That one person was me. The next thing you know, some guy with a bunch of dog treats has pulled over and is helping and then a woman who was walking by was helping. Long story short this dog was super smart and knew what a leash was. Damn. The first time I had him he bit me until I let go. He was fair and didn't hurt me as much as he could have. The second time we thought we had him by luring him into a nice mans yard he realized what was going on and split before the gate could be shut. We finally ended up getting him by that same method. The woman had to go home but I called in back up (Mr. F) and we cornered him and ran him right through a noose I had rigged up. Once he was on leash he was a wild man! I just dragged him out of the yard and sat there while he tried to commit suicide. I'm pretty sure this dog came from the res. He looked and acted the part. Anyway, I spent some time with him and he's quite the polite happy fellow once he's done bucking around trying to strangle himself to death. He ended up with the woman that helped me lure him in to begin with. I walked him up to her house that morning. She called me last night and I confirmed that no one has claimed him (I put ads all over the web). She loves him. His name is Mickey. A happy ending is nothing to thumb your nose at.


Oh yeah, I totally got my elephant food (or baby jade) plants and spaced out when it was time to take pictures. Go me. They're pretty and make the walkway just perfect. You know, I often wonder if once we get this place perfect we're going to talk about leaving. It would make sense wouldn't it?

Here's all the pictures in one big old slide show for you. It's just easier this way...

I am feeling productive today

The lavender plants that have been sitting on my walkway for months are finally in the ground! I love these plants because the growing advice is to find a location that receives full hot sun all day and make sure the soil is poor and dry. Then you are supposed to leave them alone if you want them to thrive. What a deal. They are out front between the bonsai grapefruit tree and the texas sage and will be the backdrop for my flower garden. Commence ignoring! I have decided the front walkway is the best place for everything because a.) It hasn't been claimed b.) There will be no remodeling threatening it's beauty c.) Everyone will see it when they approach our front door & d.) I will not be able to forget about it or ignore it's pleads for help (if there are any) because I'll see it every time I approach the front door. It's a master plan folks. My seedlings have begun to sprout! 10 -12 days my ass. I am also going to get an elephant food plant for my last large container to place in the front by the door. After all, you never really know when you might have an elephant stopping by. I like to be prepared.

I am going to look for more bargain priced so pretty glass hummingbird feeders to hang out back. There is this little hummer that continues to question the convincing food source of our red hose nozzle and abandoned Christmas wreath. I admit, I have been slacking big time on keeping the hummingbird feeders full. Although when I am on top of it, more than just hummers show up. We have *the cutest* little birds flocking to our feeders. They are so cute I can't stand it. Then again, I guess I can because they've been empty for like a week. There is this bush in front of our carport making up for my neglect. After all the rain it burst forth with it's bright orange trumpet like flowers and the hummers live for these so whatever. Me and mother nature are cool like that.

There is so much to do and here I am blogging. Mr. F and I pulled a light a fire, watch TV, talk and puter all night long for no other reason than to do it. It was super fun and all but now my body is all, "Hey doucebag! Guess what? You're not 20 any more. Here, I'll show you what I mean...". Needless to say, it'll be a fruitful day as I am not going down without kicking and screaming but a nice early night. I'm thinking something like falling asleep to a movie. Ahhh... Speaking of which, have you seen Running With Scissors?? I remember reading the book it is based on a long time ago. What a totally f-ed up book and the movie did a great job making it visible. Check it out.

Off I go then. You know, if I don't collapse after all the chores I am about to partake in, I might just get some pictures of my going ons. The coffee maker just summoned me. We are dear friends after all, so it doesn't surprise me in the least. Does bottoms up even apply here?

Breaking down what doesn't even qualify as news

The vaginitis is clearing up nicely. The jokes about mucous coming out of our little girlfriends has made people loathe talking to me. Wish I had thought of it sooner quite frankly.

The elusive "coyote" ran by my walkway the other morning. Sad to say it's not a coyote but rather a very handsome (skittish and untrusting) german shepherd mix. He's larger than a coyote and better kept. He also doesn't move with the purpose a wild animal moves with but rather with the attitude of a you can't catch me dog running free. Yes, I tried to lure him towards me with promises of treats and dogs to fight inside if he should think that's the way to go. He wasn't buying it and started to feel cornered. I hate that feeling and gave it up for his sake. Okay, fine. I more gave it up for Mr. F's sake as he was inside and all of this was going on unbeknownst to him. Would another totally unexpected (strange, stray, large, long haired) dog running around the house make him finally go over the deep end? We'll never know. On a side note I was kind of hoping it was a hungry coyote and that it would hear the dogs next door to me and go over the wall and in for the kill. Better luck next time I suppose... I kept thinking maybe I could simply give this shepherd mix ten up over our wall and he would bring it upon himself to call war for no other reason than he was finally caught with no escape and needed someone to take it out on?

My jewelry has been put on hold for now as I have run out of headpins. I saw it coming and didn't react on time. :F That's how I roll though so I am not for one second surprised. They're in the mail. This has given me time to plant all my seeds and pick out the picture of the James I am going to do in charcoal. Sweet.

Speaking of the seeds... I got a "bonus pack" of Larkspur seeds with one of my orders. I was PUMPED about planting them because of their incredible beauty, until I read up on them. Having a puppy in the house makes you read about plant life and the toxicity levels they have to offer. Not only do these plants contain calcium (making animals want to eat them) but they are so toxic a small amount can take down a cow. Now I just feel resentful and set up. I keep trying to find a place to plant them. Basically my mind is now full of corpses all around our stunning garden. It's nothing but one big deceased family pet party in here. woo hoo. I wish I knew someone that wanted this highly toxic plant just so they could blog it's progress for me damn it. I would do it for them if I could. Oh who am I kidding? I can't even do it for myself. I would probably just shrug and mention mucous discharge from vaginas. Oh yes, the location of the flowers has been changed. They were going to go out back, but we are undecided about building a saw work place next to the house. So they might end up out front. I'm of the opinion that we should cover in front of the back door for the saws and leave my flower bed the hell out of it. I'll keep you posted.

BTW, for a place where it supposedly never rains, it sure rains a lot here. It hailed a small while ago. That was unsettling and I was unhinged the entire time it came down. A huge thank you to Mr. Eastwood for skewing the true desert environment in my mind.

Anyway, here's the latest group of pictures. S inspired me enough to get them on here so you can thank him profusely. The yard is getting on so that is soon to come. Again I went a little nut house with the picture taking, seems to be the theme lately. I just want you to get the feel of things and that works best for me if I barrage you with as many pictures as possible. Flash? No flash? natural light? The jewelry cannot be caught on film how it truly appears. Shame really. Some of the green leafs have a iridescent shine to them and it's rather startling in the light. The brown leaf one is just sick as hell. It hangs all crazy (less uniform) on your wrist and chatters when you move. Pretty neat if you are into that kind of thing. If there were a Bead Land, I would be Queen.

Breaking News

Tabitha has vaginitis and a coyote has been sighted running through the neighborhood.

Superstition Mountain was blown off for the Mojave Trail on Squaw Peak. It was a great little work out as it was a steep hike right up the mountain. I wish we could have stayed longer but we had to go to the art show meeting. Next time.