last night was a raging success

i went out one last time to put out my trash and my side bushes were packed full of tree frogs. i really hope they come back again tonight. they were everywhere i looked and once you can see one, you can see them all. i love their little sticky fingers. jh and tree frog sticky fingers 4 eva. their eyes trip me out big time...







while celebrating my tree frog escapades, i was bending over to pick up a stray plastic cup that was rather noisy with the wind pushing it around, and when i stood back up i was looking straight at this little guy. he was truly tiny, standing about 6" high. i wasn't sure how long he'd stick around or how close he'd let me get so imagine my surprise when he let me take a number of photos flash and all right up in his grill. in retrospect i should have changed the camera settings to get a far more crisp photo. next time i will do that. this time i am happy he flew in to greet me. at first i was a little nervous considering hunting bird talons and personal space issues, but i threw caution to the wind and figured getting some sweet pictures of an owl right before heading to the hospital because of an owl attack was totally worth it. i seriously need to get my camera underwater. it's going to totally remove the fear factor and replace it with the need to get a great shot factor...

home invasion

the first home to be invaded was mine. i got all earthy crunchy and tried some all natural flea repellent that got good reviews from the store owner who has thus far been an excellent reference. let me tell you how much that shit doesn't work. since i was nervous about the whole procedure i had been religiously checking them for fleas 900 times a day and aside from one or two here and there after tab runs through the large field out front, there weren't any. i was double sure to check the more popular hang outs behind the ears and inside the armpit areas. then she bit at her ass and looked agitated. i run my hand against the grain and good lord. insert horrified high pitched screaming here. i check jim's ass. double the screaming with some serious guilt because i don't like making aged creatures uncomfortable when they are in my care. i immediately went online and ordered six months worth of frontline plus. next morning i am parked out front of the pet supermarket a half hour before they open so as to build my flea fighting arsenal which included some frontline plus and a flea spray with ingredients that only made me slightly on edge as opposed to scaring the living shit out of me. i sprayed their asses down with spray and then applied the frontline plus. tomorrow i do a full douche of the apartment from floor to ceiling. bleach and flea spray will be utilized. anything fabric will go into the washing machine. now that the frontline has had it's mandatory 48 hour translocate into the oil glands period. bathing dead flea covered dogs happens tomorrow after i tear this place apart and the dog beds are happily flopping about in the dryer. fuck natural insect repellent. fucking hippies.

the second home that was invaded was the ocean. i went diving two days in a row and it was awesome. i was supposed to go tomorrow morning but i am so wiped out from the last two trips and this apartment seriously needs to be cleaned. i am blown away at what a work out it is. it kind of sneaks up on you because once in the water it's all 100 percent wow, brain shrieking in ecstasy, totally overcome with indescribable colors and life. i find i am overtaken by fatigue at a startling rate once all my gear is rinsed off and i am sitting down. then i start nodding out like a heroin addict. after a dive i do not have to worry about sleeping through the night, and it's heavenly to have my usually overactive brain hit the pillow and stay down.

today while diving it was murky as hell. all of a sudden i understand why murk is frightening enough to keep you on your toes. granted i was once again surrounded by divers holding serious weapons, but i feel like a shark has the edge on us no matter what we bring along, unless of course it's a shark cage. after all, sharks pick up on anxious or fearful energy with their super sensitive olfactory organs. pissa. i am nothing but raw neurosis. attach jumpy to a turbine engine and you're getting there. so today in the murk i was trying as hard as i could to not be jumpy and instead, practice breathing -maybe more like humming- in a nice slow, relaxed manner while watching all the beautiful fish and coral. i was trying to match my breathing to the current so as to mesh completely and really be a part of things. next thing you know, i look up just in time to see the top profile of a very large animal. not a shark, but still about four foot long and i don't care what you say, when you are in the water next to something that size and you don't know the name of it, it's incredibly fucking scary. i was doing such a great job with my air right up until that point. commence rapid breathing and locking up limbs. luckily i snapped out of it before taking out some of the reef but when they said to surface, i was all about it to see what they had to say on the subject. it was merely a tarpon. they're harmless and no good to eat because they aren't all that tasty and all the bones make it more of a struggle than anything else. they are excellent by the way sport fishing because they'll give you a hell of a fight or so i hear. sd has seen them so large that their eyes were the size of dinner plates. that's a big fish. we saw some more but they only checked us out and immediately left the scene. tomorrow i get an underwater camera case... i feel like i owe it to you...

the other evening i was heading in from the side yard when a decent sized something that was not a lizard noisily leapt out of the bushes and over my head to then stick onto the side of the building and spiderman it's way to the roof. it totally freaked me out until i got the guts to look up just in time to see it go onto the roof. tree frog. i love tree frogs. i have always had to be their number one fan through books because i have never seen one up close and personal until now, and have just relied upon their little frog songs to know i love them so. this evening, they were out in force and i had the chance to take pictures. they're super fun with their little circular sticky toes but they're quite skittish so out of about ten pictures i ended up with two decent ones. check it out...





eeeeek. how cute.

i am not a detective

well, i'll be honest. i like to pretend i am one. i skulk about in the shadows taking notes on certain people, along with pictures of them, coming in and out of suspicious places. i have binders devoted to a few lucky souls and as much as it really eats up the day, i am going to continue recording their lives because you just never know where it could take me. okay, that's total crap. first, there is no one here worth following. even if i did, it would just lead me to the sort of friendly in a hyped up criminal way neighborhood drug dealer's, which is conveniently located two doors down or the local convenience store which is less conveniently located a couple of blocks away. i could quite literally follow everyone just fine by sitting out front of my apartment. that's why i prefer the side yard. well, that and the side yard also has the most awesome shade tree that comes straight out of a fairy tale and i swear if i could just sit still and stare at it a little longer, a gnome would pop out of it somewhere. yeah, that awesome. yeah. oh, and the swing. the side yard is just so user friendly and welcoming...

what the hell was i getting at... oh right...

i am going to find a childhood friend in miami. i am not sure how i am going to go about doing this as i am not familiar with south beach at all and not really interested in going there unless it's to sit on a bench with a cup of coffee and watch the insanity that these people call life. last time i people watched there i saw a guy biking around with a rooster in his bike basket. i saw him more than once. i saw other things too but this guy stuck out the most in my mind. roosters in bike baskets are not all that common for me to see. i still wonder what kept the feathery friend in the basket. i'm not a rooster specialist or anything but the ones i have had the pleasure of knowing were all rather skittish. i readily admit i never tried putting them in a bike basket so who knows, maybe they are naturals at that kind of thing...

um, we interrupt this blogcast to bring you... okay, i shit you not. i just went on a little hunt. here you go. it's mr. clucky to you and so sorry, but he prefers the handlebars now. stupid human idiot. everyone knows a rooster prefers handlebars over a basket. there is simply nothing manly about a basket. ever. hey, why don't you just drape a little purse over his shoulder and call him a chick while you are at it. der.

so yeah, i'm on a strange little mission. it would be a lot easier if i could simply call him and be all yo bro i'm living right near by and we should catch up, but my phone went ballistic a while back and in the process of changing certain ringtones and pictures, it also lost some numbers. silly technology. we all know it's here to make life more efficient. don't act like that's not true...

i'm done with the no punctuation or capitals... done i tell you. also, how many keyboard replacements equal a new laptop right... so now begins the question of what to get. this internal battle crap has to end at some point. when it does, the world shall cease it's rotation and fall right off it's axis, i swear. don't worry, i'd never support the demise of this fabulous and interesting place we call home. i'm going to keep freaking out on the inside and you'll remain safe. promise. for the most part. i mean, i could be walking right next to you and you can still trip on something, fall down and cut your knee without me being able to do a damn thing about it besides laugh and help you up and then boo over the rip in your pants. i'll also be sure to point out that rips in knees are fashionable for some people, cause that's the type of friend i am.

on a totally unrelated side note, my super gay, not so interesting, very judgmental, bike riding enthusiast neighbor is calling me sarah palin behind my back because he just can't seem to remember my name. luckily i have all the other people in the neighborhood to thank for this handy piece of information. you can kind of see his point though. it's a tough one. all one syllable and what not. nevertheless, as much as yes, i can see russia from my front porch, and yes i think predators in yellowstone should be run down during breeding season, shot at by helicopters and die an awful agonizing death leaving their young to suffer and starve, i just don't see the connection.

there i was, just minding my own business, when all of a sudden...

total garbage. i am rarely, if ever, minding my own business. other people's lives seem more interesting, cause they ain't mine. ha.

i had been at the beach all afternoon, goggles locked into position, diving under the water to see what i could find. just the surf here is loaded full of tiny and sometimes surprisingly colorful fish believe it or not. tiny little fish, often no larger than an inch all bustling around riding the current flashing their reds and blues and staying just out of reach. they swim about by the thousands and i seriously can't get enough of them, but every so often you need a little rest. so there i was, staring into the ocean when all of a sudden larger fish started frantically coming to the top of the water right along the shore much closer than usual. by right along i mean about 10 feet out in the water - during high tide, it can be relatively deep that close to shore. by larger i mean not the tiny fish i just spoke of, but the much more sizable fish that swim out in the ocean, usually further away from the shore. 9 times out of 10 this surface splashing means something larger with an unending appetite is chasing them. if you pay attention you'll see this happen frequently about this time of year as a large number of fish are running right now. why do they call it running when fish don't have any feet? the fear of redundancy mayhap? the need to be clever and get bloggers to ask silly questions? regardless, i see it a lot when the sun first comes up and it's always awesome to see the disturbance. anyhoo... i continued asking sd what he thought was causing this ruckus in front of us - in my defense, he sometimes knows these things - and he finally gave up on simply saying he wasn't sure, sighed, and said i should go find out. i immediately strap my goggles on my face and head into the water to further investigate. i dove in towards the motion, went under once, saw some of the fish flash by but then they were gone. i surfaced where the water was just about chest level and asked sd over my shoulder if he saw where they went. he points to the right of me and when i turned to look where his finger is pointing to, a brownish colored shark about 5' - 6' long swims by me about 3' feet away. commence breaking every no when encountering a shark. i screamed, turned my back, made wild jerking movements, and thrashed my way back to shore as fast as humanly possible. in retrospect, i wasn't moving very quickly considering i was mostly underwater. ever run underwater? it's slow motion man! once back to shore, i was shaking violently, pacing around while screaming and stammering in excitement and very happy to be whole. scariness aside, i am psyched it happened. i'm also happy i had the wherewithal to keep myself from screaming shark over and over, frightening the throngs of people gathered on the beach that day. a large school broke the water that close to shore a few more times but as much as i ventured into the water in hopes to see it again, i didn't go past thigh level. i also didn't see the shark again. bummer. i mean, come on, as much as it was probably the most frightening thing i have yet to experience, it had its own long lasting brilliant magic to it. i want to say something like i wish i had my camera on me, but i think it's overly obvious that i wouldn't have gotten the picture as the sighting lasted about two seconds and i more than likely would have simply lost my camera in the mad scrabble back to land sweet land.

not that i necessarily agree, but in the words of g: that's ridiculous. i'm all set with the ocean.

i have completed my research and though it was a fleeting encounter, i'm pretty sure it was a sandbar shark. my other most logical assumption would be a bull shark but i remember the nose being pointier than that and i am 100% positive it was more brown than grey. i mean, this thing swam right by me, close to the surface, so i am sticking with the image that is forever burned into my brain...

seeing this shark has put the fear of god into me, making my other hobbies a little tougher to partake in comfortably. scuba diving was put off first due to my woman parts, then a smashed toe that bled with even the tiniest bit of friction and now this. yesterday i practiced surfing and by practiced i mean i ate shit and got beat to hell by the waves and current. there was a wee bit of a rip tide yesterday and i am embarrassed to say it meant i had serious trouble getting me and the board back out into the water once pushed to shore. talk about lame. i kept getting smashed down by the waves and it was frustrating but once out there i was on such high alert that practicing was difficult to say the least. how do you spot a surfable wave while looking around wildly for sharks? you don't really. that said, i am super excited that i not only rode a wave in, but kept the nose of my board from going under the water while dragging me behind it long enough to beat me off the sand for a while until i can get my bearing. i rode it in on my belly mind you, but whatever, it's something. it's incredibly frustrating to keep having my ass handed to me by water and i don't know how much longer i'll be practicing for. the waves here seriously suck. the logic i am using is this: if i can learn to surf here, once i hit larger barrel waves, i'll be able to surf them no issue right? right?

back to sharks

after hearing about "the big one" sd's response was let's go shark fishing. now i was tired with a slight sunburn, and wanted to give the dogs some fresh air time, so i promised i would catch up with him on the pier later that evening once the sun went down. true to my word, i joined him a little while later where he fished with his buddy and his buddies girl looked on like me. at night the end of the pier is loaded full of fishermen, and let me tell you, they are so serious about their fishing. some of these dudes have 3 and 4 poles set up while they use the extra to fish for bait. they are all there to catch something and eat it and it's not funny. at least not to them. i personally like to try and help by tickling sd while he sets up the line or making encouraging noises like wooooooo or yay whenever a line starts whining because it caught something. i am often handed the bait line just to give me something to do but that only lasts for so long until i am back to frolicking about finding something more interesting to do.

three sharks were caught that night and i am not proud to say, i handled it very poorly. the first catch was a little nurse shark that the victors - a family across from us - allowed to sit on the pier until it was almost dead but threw it back once everyone else started getting agitated about how unfair their actions were if they weren't going to keep it. next, sd's buddy, who was in charge of the bait pole caught good sized nurse, i'll guess about 3 feet long, that was to heavy to pull out of the water and over the rail of the pier relying on just the line. luckily sd always brings his version of a gaff hook, which is basically a huge gnarly three pronged hook attached to a rope. you lower the gaff down just below the animal, hook the body and drag it up without the inconvenient possibility of breaking your line and losing it altogether. once the shark was up there was debate about keeping it. sd said throw it back, buddy said he's keeping it. nurse sharks don't taste all that good. i have heard they taste like piss unless you soak them in milk overnight. as much as i can't help but wonder how everyone knows what piss tastes like, i would probably just throw it back because i don't relish the idea of finding out. it was finally decided he would keep it and he got a knife and started to gut it while it was still conscious and squirming. i had a really hard time with this. i'm a fisher, don't get me wrong, but i'll usually cut the head off or at the very least smash it's head on something to kill it before cutting into it. i mean, come on, wtf is that? i almost cried and made sure to keep myself looking in the opposite direction and just pretend the crunching noises were someone enjoying a carrot or what have you. i think this bothered me so much because nurse sharks are harmless. i have seen them scuba diving and free dove along side a baby the other day, touching it and just generally being in awe of the little dude. they won't hurt you.

the last shark to be caught was a decent sized - about two feet in length - black tipped shark. this was also brought up with the gaff and laid out for everyone to see. black tips are good eats so it was immediately decided that this was a keeper. he was a wild one and they almost couldn't get a hold of him as he kept flipping about trying to bite anyone who got close but they managed to grab him up after a bit. he still wouldn't chill out so the guy who caught him took him by his tail and swung him onto the wooden deck, hard, three times in order to kill him. again, not really into it. i felt better about this exchange as there was no messing around and it was done as fast and as hard as possible but there was still that wrong feeling in my gut. sharks have a certain magic to me personally so i will always feel badly when they die.

after the cutting open alive and splitting heads open ordeals, i didn't even want to manage the bait hook. i just wanted to go home. silly me didn't bring the dogs and i don't like to walk around alone at night. it's bad practice after all. so i stayed on, promising myself that from now on, the dogs go with so i can leave if i can't take any more. i now view shark hunting as rather brutal and barbaric which doesn't surprise me as killing has never really been my forte. i'm going to have to turn it into something neat, like a blog worthy escapade...

remember the dude that fell out of the tree?

well he came down for a little how you do moment and i had my camera out and ready for once. he's not all that into me so the pictures could be better, but i'm okay with what i got. sometimes i kick myself a little for sacrificing up a better zoom but the shit i got instead really makes up for it so i end up taking back every kick. check him out, isn't he rad with his oversized head? he's so giving me the hairy eyeball for butting into his alone time but he clearly didn't learn from the last time when i chased him through the bushes.




oh. oh my. i passed the behaviorist, dog care test. i so want this job. i prayed because i know you can't lose with god on your side and looky, 50% of the way there...

the lion king vs. finding nemo bakery style

it was the prophets birthday yesterday, or maybe it's today, this is up for debate... regardless, i chose yesterday as the main day to celebrate his birth. that consisted of balloons which were quite the scene in itself with their popping due to the heat and my screaming and swerving all over the road because loud bangs do not mix well with my skittishness and driving capabilities. there was also a flashing it's my birthday pin and of course the always expected birthday cards.

then while shopping for a cake, i came across this disaster and well, i certainly wasn't going to leave it there. i mean look at it. yes, that is a lion. i am assuming he is hunting the oversized fish at the bottom of the... waterfall. the underground spring waterfall it would seem as the jungle grows up all around it. silly jungle lion. i wish this moment wasn't frozen in time. if wishes were horses, all lions would eat massive fish.

what could possibly go wrong?

finally a product that is worth using

click here

there is nothing friendly about it

so yeah, being a fully functioning healthy female has it's drawbacks. especially when you do things in the water. eww. luckily i can improvise this shit and spent the last seven days creating anything i want from shiny baubles and wire. it took me a while but it's done, it's versatile and it's long... like 42 inches long. the pictures are garbage but they are last minute the people need to see style...




the cool part is that it can be worn as a necklace wrapped once, twice or choker style three times, a bracelet or even an anklet. this thing is serious. blisters on my hand serious. this thing is so cool figure out how to make more without getting blisters on my hands serious...

diving will be back on by next week because i am not going on a boat for the weekend with six dudes i don't know, i don't care how great the diving is. shit, i won't walk to the fucking corner store with six dudes i don't know. i just don't feel like writing that chapter of my life thank you all the same...

i'm going to get bad ass pictures of diving at some point but i think that will be a lot easier once i learn how to let go of my regulator long enough to pick up my camera. as of right now i clutch it so tight i'm worried i might crush it. but you know what, that's what makes me go back up so until i can handle being 20 feet underwater breathing through a tube, that's how it goes.

omg later this evening i am going to totally watch twilight and pretend edward is my bf because he like so totally is btw

i just squealed like a 15 year old girl

best. daughter. ever.

it might have been mailed out late but i forgive me...

the wooden hearts were bought, the shells found and inlaid with my dremel and the lettering was also done by dremel. i'm totally psyched i had some fish left over from the fish mobile and everything is connected by hemp twine. oh yeah...

FORE!

i heard this weird rustling outside and thinking it might be the fin man looking for some eats, combined with the fact that i am jut naturally curious, i went out to investigate. ends up, it was coming from the fronds of the cabbage palm next to my house and all of a sudden this guy fell right out of the palm and into the shrubs. it took me a minute to find him but i'm glad i stuck with it as you don't normally see them because they spend their time in the tops of trees. very cool...

soak it all in before the ecosystem is smashed to oily bits

good morning


i took my sis up to the everglades yesterday. she wanted to see an alligator and i can't think of a better place than alligator alley, or more importantly, route 41. as much as i could easily waste a week there taking pictures, i decided to skip the camera and just brought along my phone and used that to capture images. take, for example, this boat that puts the modular in houseboat... a sweet, covered back deck even. yeah, that's right, it's for sale.







and of course, the ever elusive, constantly changing because i say so, smallest post office in the world...





there is a young, scrawny, tiger cat who started coming around. he's a small little dude. he'll stand his ground when the dogs approach and jim won't chase him anymore as he's now gotten a bloody face one to many. tab is curious and will go right up to him, but he's none to thrilled with that and will smack her face if she gets to close for comfort. if a cat can do anything to soften my heart it's to stick up for itself when confronted by a large serious animal. at first he'd just kick it in my side ward walking around and yowling and i would go out and love him up which seemed to help. he likes it when you really bear down on his back, and even lets me shake him a little, and rewards me with that strange cat face rub and something between a hiss and a purr. he's super sociable and it seems a total shame that he's lacking in the friend dept. he doesn't even care if you pick him up and when i did so the other day to show him to the prophet, i found a large lump the size of a golf ball in the middle of his belly. weird. smart little fella stopped by while i was eating chicken, so i offered him a piece and he scarfed it down. we shared a yogurt this morning. i have decided to call him mcfinnegan, with fin or finny for short. i'm not going get all crazy cat lady and leave food out for him because that will draw in the 900 billion other cats and i also think it will make it far less personal. when he rolls by and i am home, i'll throw him a tidbit or two and pet him all rough like, cause that's more his bag. he's catching on to my semi-schedule so he gets to reap the benefits of paying attention to his cat watch. i asked around in case someone owns him and word got back to me that he is a lone shark that the crack addicts across the way named tiger. fucking tiger. oh yeah, and don't you go concerning yourself with his friendliness cause he be social. so then, tiger be social. yeah well, mcfinnegan be dead proper folks and i'm just going to help the little dude out when he drops in for some attention. if it comes down to some weird possession issue, i might just slam a pretty little blinged out collar on his neck with a name tag. not because i care who owns him, but because the idea cracks me up. i'm more inclined to think he owns himself anyway.

just when you thought you were safe

i am totally fine until i am totally not. there is no middle ground. i'm used to it so i don't realize how upsetting it can be to others to watch me go from rock solid to a fight or flight, screaming, crying mess at the drop of a hat.

WAHHHHHHHH I WENT SCUBA DIVING FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY

before i begin this little story, please bear in mind i have only been free diving with nothing but eye goggles. i have never been into masks and snorkels because i regulate the air with my nose and having it blocked is very uncomfortable. the eye goggles were only because after a while my eyes start to get irritated by the salt water and it shortens my diving time significantly. but other than that, i am an awesome swimmer and not usually nervous in the water.

here are the rules of scuba...

1. don't run out of air.

2. don't panic, stay relaxed and breathe slowly, normally if you will

3. never beat your bubbles to the top

4. don't touch anything, especially if it is red

let's just say that without an instructor, i would have tried to remember the number one rule, but that would be assuming i actually made it underwater without that same instructor and it's pretty clear that would have never happened. not in a million years. maybe if i was practicing in a pool. maybe.

as for two, i totally panicked. when i say panicked i mean, i freaked the fuck out bad. we had just gone under the surface, think top of head still out of the water, and i totally lost it and went into a blind, short shallow breaths in the chest, omg we're all going to die, thrashing around, screaming anxiety fit. throwing up in the regulator was not only way less funny, but way more likely. i puke when i am very scared, or very excited. this would have been a great example of very scared puking. also, were it not for my bc and instructors ability to stay calm when the person in front of you is in a state of extreme hysteria, i would have drowned us both for sure.

three is still up for discussion because we only made it to the first reef which is not deep enough to get the bends but there is concern with how fast i ascend...

number four. once we were done going up and down a million times to show me nothing would happen and texas, my instructor, was able to get me close enough to the bottom to distract me from my fear with pretty colors, i got to see the reef. it was so awesome. although, while learning how to control my buoyancy, i kept hitting the reef and every time i put my hand down to soften the blow... you guessed it, red. and then, you guessed it again. freak out. at least we didn't have to surface every time and it just equalled sudden movements and rapid bursts of bubbles, which i'm pretty sure takes out number two again. that's a double hitter friends...

so.

all said and done, once i was over the initial scare and got my nerves back to jh normal, i was told i was a fantastic first timer. i don't know if that is true or if being the fabulous instructor he is, tx knows that to get me back in the water i have to have my confidence stoked. either way, i'm taking it. both hands.

okay. while down there, tx, who had gloves on mind you, caught a puffer fish that looked just like this little guy...

deflated and cute


inflated and menacing


a spotted ray who blended into the ocean floor so well, i didn't see him at first. i saw a fish that resembled a trumpet fish, but isn't one, and i can't for the life of me remember what it's name is. it's good for bait. or chumming the water when hunting for sharks. i'm not sure what kind of angel fish i saw but i'm pretty sure it was a gray.

there was a massive medley of other fantastic fish that i won't pretend to identify but you better believe i'll be able to some day. i just truly hope to see one of these swim by one day.

scuba lingo is silent. hand signals. the ok sign means you are okay. the thumbs up sign means go to the surface. i did not know this and every time he asked if i were okay, i would sign a hearty and exuberant two thumbs up and we would immediately surface. he caught on before i did. i want to pretend i was finally quiet for an extended period of time but that would be a filthy dirty lie. i was laughing and talking the entire time only something was in my mouth and for once, no one could hear me. interesting.

oh, i almost forgot. once i was able to see through my haze of horror and we were actually moving around, what did i spy with my little eye but a pair of shiny keys. now four of us went out. after it was realized that i was going to take a while, the other two split off, one to free dive and the other to hunt for dinner. when we got back, texas told me to show everyone my first diving find. i take out the keys and the free diver is all no way man, you found my keys. while free diving, his keys came out of his pocket and who would have thunk that on the vast ocean floor, it is the first thing i would not only come across, but bring back. i don't want to get all spiritual or anything, but i am clearly meant to be a diver.

no, seriously. really. no joke.

she's amazing



does anyone else ever wonder why they don't tighten up that poor dogs trucks?

catch the swell brah

i finally tried surfing for the first time. i was awful but it was my first time ever and focusing is not a strong point. i'm just going to keep going until i get it. time will tell. i know what i am doing wrong. first, i am trying to stand up way to soon in the game. like day one. ha. when the board starts to catch speed and i go to do the push up to get myself into a standing position, which i have no right trying, the nose of the board starts to dip into the water. instead of leaning back to compensate, i freak out and stiffen up, further pushing the nose down, and i wreck. the wave, shore and board totally own me at this point. i was taken out by the board twice. one was a solid hit to the face. i will defend myself by saying the waves here are pretty weak and close to shore. so i am trying to salvage while being scraped against the sand and it feels silly. i would much rather just relax in the water, until the wave has passed, and i can collect myself. i was comparing these waves to the ones i saw on the ca coast. the surfers there were way out in the ocean. no worry about getting beat up by the shore along with actual barrel waves you don't even have to paddle to get. so. i am wicked into the idea of simply waiting to catch the wave. it would seem that minimal paddling is more my thing and as much as it sounds super weak, i was watching the kids in ca just kicking it on their boards rapping until a wave caught them up.

i went to get most of my scuba gear yesterday. i finally made nice nice with the scuba team across the street and they were super gung ho about getting me started. this is going to be awesome and i try scuba diving today at around 4. everyone who has ever scuba dived says it is life changing and every single time you dive it's like the first time and beats any sexual or drug experience known to man. bold, but after witnessing the expressions on faces, i am unwilling to doubt what they are saying is true. everyone gets this far away, super peaceful look on their face when they talk about it. i want to go where they go and i want to see what they see, because for that instant, they are not looking at the world as we know it.

today i am going to get up the guts to hit the surf shop with my hemp jewelry to see if they will consider selling it. everyone who sees my product goes nuts and tells me i should sell it, so i know it's me doubting the quality... it usually is.

i'm also going to shoot for finally finishing up my mother's day gift which i have been recording all along so you'd get to see it. i have a few more shells to inlay but once the room is made for them it's stain, water treatment, put the shells back in and connect all the pieces with some hemp twine. then off i shall head to my local post office to send this beauty to its rightful owner. sweet. there is no question why i am the favorite even if no one is brave enough to say it out loud.

sunrise vs. heartrise

good morning

good morning