Finders keepers, owners weepers...

Remember Francine? Yeah, she's still awesome. She has met the dogs and only got charged once. It was fair. 1.) They didn't see her until last minute. 2.) She ran for it. 3.) They're dogs. After The Big Chase, perspectives seemed to change a bit. The dogs still approached her in a truck like manner but she remembered she has weapons attached to each toe. So instead of running, Francine hunkers down and uses her feet to cut up dog face if they get to rough. It's a happy little compromise have come to as a semi-friendly unit. I'm not sure what I am going to do with Francine. Probably just enjoy her until I go and take care of her so she can grow strong and healthy enough to take care of herself. Taking her from a place where she can live comfortably outdoors all year and have constant things to hunt (such as lizards and such) seems uncalled for. It sucks but so do a whole slew of other things...


Let's back up a little. I was having a little cat/human love session out front of my place. I was professing love with my hands and a retarded high pitched mew mew voice, Francine with the sides of her face and her butt in the air when along comes my neighbor. She only holds a tiny bit of weight with the whole your electricity is out because #2 pays for it and they haven't paid their bill lately song and dance. So whenever she says anything, I go and get it straight from the horses mouth. This was no exception as the claim she made was that, get this, Francine belongs to the kids who just moved here from Texas. Now we all know I am not a big Texas fan but still, I had to get to the bottom of this. One of the kids (Joey? John? Cat Owner Impersonator?) likes to sit in the side yard and puter so I waited until he was there and approached him on the whole cat stealing issue. The most awesome part of this conversation was that he was the one stammering and holding his head down while I laughed at how absurd the situation was because as it turns out, he brought Francine. He also tried to tell me that he feeds her every morning and every evening AND that the dog next door pounced on her and she wouldn't come back into their house any more because of it. Oh please. Francine is emaciated. The only person feeding her twice a day (and giving her heartguard, heh) is yours truly. I have two dogs that religiously pounce on her (added to the we're going to kill the cat charge) and she not only continues to hang out but even comes into the apartment for feeding time (which I am thrilled about as I am not into feeding someone else's cat right in front of their face even if they do take mediocre care of it at best). Don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe that stupid dog pounced on her. It's one of those fat under stimulated dogs that could be awesome but is allowed to be totally out of control because "we know he was abused by a skateboard because he acts like that around them but he's a really nice dog and wouldn't hurt a fly" or "he had a really mean first owner and that's why he acts like that but he's a really super dog who wouldn't hurt a fly". When I first moved in I was told "he loves dogs and wouldn't hurt a fly" (I'm assuming that means provided they can't match it up to his supposed sordid past, which apparently any and all bad behavior can be matched up to) but a small while ago Tabitha noticed him and went over to say hi when I wasn't looking and almost got her face badly bitten. I made the whole thing seem like it was my fault because she was off leash but she screamed so violently and came running back to my area so fast that there was no blaming it on her. There was just Mr. Wouldn't Hurt a Fly looking all vicious towards the dog who smiles while everyone loves and plays with her. That was a small justice since now they can't throw suspicious and nervous looks our way when Tab is outside off leash (fat boy isn't allowed off leash because he doesn't listen). Yeah, where's the past now? Oh right, hanging between the present and what was almost my dog's chewed up face. Now there's some real sordid past for ya eh?

Whoa, I went off on a little side road jerky dogs and their excuse making owners make me sick tear now didn't I? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that Francine cries her way into my place for her breakfast every morning when I am coming back from sunrise.

good morning to you!
good morning to you!
we're all in our places!
with sunshiny faces!
and this is the way!
to start a new day!


She sprinkles her way throughout the day for a little affection (often times in my lap, on her back so I can rub her tummy) and then comes wailing through again for her evening meal. She'll jump the gate and come inside if I don't answer the door and we are effectively learning how gross it is to scratch things or jump up onto the table and counter. I am teaching her this by picking her off of said places, putting her outside and unceremoniously shutting the door in her face. I feel like we are making progress because this morning she didn't even try to get on the counter while I put her food in her bowl, she just stretched herself all over the floor cabinets, reaching her paws as high as she could while making her if you don't feed me immediately I might die noises. Drama queen.

The dogs are doing really well with her being in the house. Tabitha follows her around while whimpering pitifully until she finally can't take it anymore and ends up approaching to sniff Francine all over, then pushing her a bit, then pushing her a lot until Francine finally uses her feet to cut Tab's face. The James just wants to eat her food or hump her and follows her around with his face and ears twisted into that retarded fruit bat look of his while he pushes her around with his front paw trying to get her to stand still so he can get the deed over with. She puts up with that pretty well since it's obvious he isn't going to hurt her and she can run faster than him. His cold hearted killer days are over. It's sad for me to recognize but it also means watching less animals get headbutted to death or being on high alert so as to see the neighbors cat before he headbutts it to death.

THE BIKE

It all started with a dream. A dream of having a beach cruiser that was no longer Gator colors and instead stood for everything swank. Colors were debated. Finally a cream with and red (with sparkles on the red!) scheme was decided, the paint was bought and the project was underway.

Here it is with it's original colors. Cool? Yes? Busted and chipped? Yes. Time for a change? Undoubtedly.


Here we have the frame hanging with the primer drying...


A little action shot never hurt anyone. Newspaper is being taped over the now cream frame so the red (and sparkles!) can be applied...


Ready for red...


This is my "cool beach cruiser hanging out with other cool beachy types" pictures.


The Tabster, bored to death with the situation...


Another action shot. Here comes the red...


Red rims!!


The James acting suspicious when he already has that charge for tagging...




Finished!


SPARKLES!!!


Almost ready to be put back together...


What is this? Fat boy fenders for the finishing touch? I do declare!


Hello fancy red gooseneck... would you like some sparkles?


Front fender on...


Preparing for rear fender...


TAH DAH!


I know, I know, I need a better shot of the finished project but it has been hot like Hades lately so riding about while reaping the benefits of heat stroke is not on my to do list just yet. But I have picked the perfect backdrops. Yes, that is plural. I believe the first one will be at the beach just to have that over all swanky beach cruiser at the most obvious of locations looks. The other is part of my evening dog stroll. It's where some super green, super dense shrubs meet a very healthy looking piece of grass. I like the idea of the background being one color so you can get the full effect of the paint job. Also, a lot of these pictures were taken at night as it was cool enough to get the job done without getting cranky so they are lacking the vibrance and shine the glorious sun offers a decent picture. It'll get done as soon as a day that is cool enough presents itself. Until then you get the cramped corner picture. The only thing that needs something, anything added to it is the chain guard and possibly the fenders. I'll think of something clever and then have it made up in vinyl graphics. Pinstripes? Who knows. Oh yes, and a basket. What proper beach cruiser doesn't have a basket? Seriously.

Disorientation is so my bag

First things first... Here's Mr. Hawk who landed on the swing. How bad ass is that? Nature is SO COOL! He was spotted through my side window and I took a picture through the screen just in case he wasn't as willing to have me in his personal space as the little Barrel Owl. I was so right, he was so not into it and flew off as soon as I rounded the building and came into view. Bastard.



Speaking of cool, the moon was low in the sky when we headed out to look for baby turtles.



Here's the tracks of a female who came up to lay her eggs but got scared back into the water...



And here comes the super duper spectacular part! Baby loggerhead turtles. Yes, I used a flash. Yes, I am going to hell for it. Yes, I forgive me. I mean COME ON, what would you have done? Considering that we guarded the nests and saved three from wandering into a baby turtle death trap, I feel as though I might have made up for it. I'm ignoring the fact that they were probably consumed by something as soon as they got into deep waters.

This is the little dude SD tracked across the beach for about 50'. Commence passing back and forth, screaming and flash photography. It was so very intrusive and so very worth it.

WE ARE TURTLE PATROL!



I would also like to point out that the real turtle patrol never even surfaced that evening. So yeah, whatever. I think I am going to start carrying a clipboard so I look more "official" than they do and when they approach me about the camera I'm going to start asking questions. Name? Rank? Under who's authority are you out here patrolling turtles? Phone numbers? Lots of scribbling mixed with mmm I'm sures and a firm yet suspicious you are clearly the fox infiltrating the hen house look. Let's see who gets nervous then shall we?

Here they are coming out of the sand. It started with two little noses s l o w l y working their way up. Then there were faces and body parts everywhere. I am bummed I didn't get a picture of them bursting forth from the sand but I had been going back and forth from picture to video and put it on the video mode by mistake. Doh. If I come across another nest that bursts you know I am getting all the little critters pouring forth from the earth like a magic turtle fountain.






The long arduous trek down the sand towards the shoreline using only awkward flippers and encouraging screams of ecstasy to get you there...





Can we take a moment to notice the sand in their eyes from minute one until minute swallowed by the ocean? That in itself would have me all whiny and Ah! No! This kills! I'm not going! Ah! I need something to get this Ah! this fucking sand out of my eye. Ah! It's burns! But not these little dudes. Not a chance. They just haul their asses out of the sand pit they once called home, sand in the eyes and all, and take part in that massive journey called life. Talk about no guts no glory eh?

This entry wouldn't be complete without a shot of a tiny helpless turtle swimming off into the great vast ocean. Now I don't know if you have any idea how exceedingly difficult it is to take a decent picture at night, but once they are in the shore it seems downright impossible. The dark paired with the surf throwing them up and down the shore makes focusing on them instead of nothing AND getting a nice clean shot pretty difficult. But you know I'm the type to stick with it. As much as this shot isn't my dream shot, I'll keep it and love it until the day I die.



Next photo op is the Everglades at sunset so I can get one of those awesome shots of the reds and oranges through the cypress trees. Today was the day until a storm started brewing right over the location of choice. This might be tough as it's the rainy season and the Glades are all about making rain right now, but hello, this is the girl who got a midnight shot of a tiny turtle in the surf...

It is so going to happen...

great big globs of greasy grimy turtle guts

mutilated monkey meat
chopped up baby parakeet
great big globs of greasy grimy turtle guts
floating in my pink lemonade
and i forgot my spoon




TP was nowhere to be found so we took over as Turtle Patrol, Turtle Security and Turtle Defender. The first nest had 6 babies come out. It would seem they hatch and rise to the top in waves because there were tiny prints coming from both active nests. The second nest had 20 turtles emerge! TWENTY!! Do you know how nerve wracking it is to help 20 tiny turtles reach the shore in the dark. Actually, it's not so bad as they do all the work. Only three of them veered off track. But hoy crap, when they veer, they VEER man. SD tracked one little dude from the first nest that had hatched earlier. He tracked that shit Crocodile Dundee style and found him running parallel to the shoreline, heading towards Miami, about 50' away from the nest. After trying to turn him, SD just took him to the water's edge. Yes we held him. Yes I used flash photography. Whatever. You do the wrong thing, you are basically at our mercy since we are the ones saving your ass.

We also saw the tracks of a mother turtle. She came up the shore all slow and deliberate but then something must have scared her because she hauled ass back into the water. She came right up to the main 6th Street entrance so I'm assuming it was just about anything that can happen at the main entryway that spooked her.

I'll be back with more photos of this glorious baby turtle evening. Full moon and everything. Just wow. I flashed the hell out of some of them. I feel like a total jerk but the photos themselves are awesome enough to doubt this feeling of guilt. You'll see. Also, a hawk landed on the swing in my side yard and I got a decent picture of it. I don't know what's up with predatory fowl and my side yard swing but you won't hear me complaining.

THE BIKE. My bike looks SICK. More to come. CAN YOU STAND IT???

Promises are meant to be... fed, cleaned up, nurtured and named Francine.

Didn't little emaciated flea ridden Francine show up again this morning and earn herself another hotdog? Yes she did. I went and got my phone and got some pretty decent photos considering how much she moves about. You can see how busted her nose is and I'm not sure if it's from fighting or something worse. I have some flea spray that I might try applying later if she'll let me. It's for dogs but don't tell her that. Don't worry, I tested it on the neighbors cat so I know it won't hurt her. I know with all my stored up cat hatred it might seem otherwise, but I think this proves I have her best interest in mind... I'll also be getting her some food later while running some errands and if I know me, she'll be sporting herself a sweet purple quick release collar by the end of the day so when people see her they'll think she's someone's pet and be more inclined to be nice to her rather than treat her like the mangled stray she is. I wonder if she'll let me apply some Neosporin + Pain Relief to her nose. Only one way to find out right??

Raw food is healthy food

Not much has been happening here by way of activity. The baby turtles continue to evade me but I am a tenacious being and seeing more turtles come out of their sandy nest is on the top of the to do list. The other morning I came across these little prints in the sand. Sadly they were headed away from the beach and into an abandoned lot where I followed them until they crossed some cat prints and then disappeared. Little dude traveled some distance too. I was reading that 1 out of 1000 baby turtles live to adulthood. That's not very good odds and with lights and cats added to that, it's no wonder you have the red light toting turtle saviors combing the beach every night just to make sure they get to the surf.






While on TP the other night SD and I came across adult turtle prints that made it clear something spooked her back into the water. I was lamenting us going south first as we may have spared her having to turn back. I fear that were I to see people about to scare an egg laying female back into the surf I'd get all silent ninja on their ass and make them pay dearly for their discretions. That serious. It was to dark to take pictures and using a flash isn't something I want to do as I could scare yet another female or send a bunch of hatched babies on an adventure that lands them in the mouth of something like a cat. Stupid cats. I'm so torn about the cats here... They are everywhere and I am positive they are keeping everything small and pest like at bay as I have yet to see one rat or mouse, but they also eat the super cute stuff and let me tell you, there is a lot of edible super cute here. A little busted calico stray showed up last night and was chilling on the roof of my car when I got back from the J&T's evening neighborhood jaunt. She didn't run even though the dogs clearly freaked her out so I went back out with some tuna to see if she wanted something to eat. She was a really friendly little thing and ate a shit load of tuna along with half a hot dog. I named her Francine and I'll grab some cat food today while out picking up some other things I need. As much as I don't like cats, a little smashed up emaciated stray is something I take pity on. Especially when it shows appreciation. She came back twice last night as I was roaming about watering my plants out front and did the lean into you because I am a lonely little stray cat and you feed me deal. How do you say no to that?

I have been trying to see a little crab. They live in the ground all over the place but they hurriedly go inside whenever I approach so I hadn't gotten a very good look at one until the other morning when they were all over the place at the beach entrance of 8th street. They were running all over the ground amongst the bushes and fencing and climbing the wall that borders the entrance. I snapped some pictures and felt good since everyone is always how have you not seen one of them yet they're everywhere you look. Now I have. About a thousand of them in fact. So shut your pie hole.



I like to walk the J&T after sunrise when it is still cool and then again in the evening. Yesterday morning we were coming back from the store when we came across a ripe mango that had fallen from a tree. Tab checked it out, liked how it tasted and carried it all the way home to nosh it for breakfast. She seriously loved it. Jim gave it a couple of licks and then reminded me that we also have dog food and that beats the shit out of some stupid mango any day thank you very much stupid human and stupid little sister who doesn't know any better and probably never will by the looks of things.




Today I am going to get the paint for my bike. SD painted his beach cruiser and it has inspired me to move forward with mine. I am going to paint it cream with candy apple red that has metallic silver specks in it and then it will be covered with two clear base coats. There could be pin-striping and I am debating putting the "Good Vibrations" back on the chain guard. Not sure yet because I don't know if the silver specks will be more than enough. I have to find some fenders to add and I also believe the spokes and rims will be painted. Right?? This is going to be the swankest beach cruiser you have ever laid eyes on and yes, I shall blog the whole thing from start to finish for your viewing pleasure. Oh man. Get this... I am thinking about making the front and back light holders out of coconuts. Maybe I'll even have a cute little coconut cup holder on the handlebars next to the basket. Yeah, I said it.

Ah yes... sunrise. Good morning then.

I'll take you with me everywhere I go and pin you to the wall for my own selfish personal enjoyment...

When I walk the beach I come across these little pieces of coral and I think they are super fun and bring them home but never really know what to do with them. Well I finally figured out how they can bring color and excitement to my life. I knew I would and it just took a little while of staring and screaming things like "what do you want from me?!" to get the desired satisfactory result.

So here it is. A tiny little fish mobile that resembles all the colorful fish and the coral reef they swim around. The fact that they are hanging from a push pin along with the last picture gives you an idea of the small size.







I know, the shadows don't help the pictures any, but it's night time and that's how that works. Once it's light out, I'll take more with the sun as my helper. And everyone knows, the sun is the best helper at all.

It's walk the dogs and then baby turtle patrol time.