Playing catch (up)... Story time.

Well well well... where were we? Oh yeah, that's right, I was going somewhere with no signal. And then I was getting kicked out the next day. I couldn't even make it 24 hours. The super funny part is the fact that I have never been kicked out of anywhere before this. Since I am incredibly bad at taking blame, I am going to pass said accountability on to Charles. One, he can't talk his way out of it and two it's totally his fault.

Side note: I have been making pancakes every morning. They have been delicous. Today we had strawberry/blueberry pancakes along with a bowl of fruit containing cantalope, watermellon, honeydew mellon, pineapples, and blueberries sprinkled on top. Oh, there was also another mellon that I forget the name of. Damn. Whatever. It looks like a washed out cantalope and tastes a little less sweet than honeydew. Hmm. I realize I am going overboard on the blueberries but they have antioxidants, making them friends to our bodies.

So there we were the night I rolled in. I set up my room by placing my fish where they could easily observe the going ons without the risk of tipping or smashing. This is a crutial part of feeling at home. My fish have proven to be travel worthy so I am certain to keep them in the mix when we stop. They're worth it. Anything that remains pretty and alive while being dragged about by me should have the best view. Especially when it is stuck in a bowl of water. Seriously. I found them *the prettiest* travel case. It was advertised as a "milk crate" but I thought it looked like a fish holder. I mean, who even uses milk crates except for people that are carrying milk around? And I very much doubt they get their milk crates from Target. Come on now.

Fish (and some other essentials) in place I went back into the courtyard to visit with my dad and play ball with Charles who was acting like a psychopath due to lack of exercise. James was happily hunting cats and lizards. It was a beautiful night. Good stuff. At one point or another, the ball went into the pool. For some reason Charlie thought he could just step into the pool and get the ball. He did a header right into the pool, came up thrashing and coughing, and went on to retrieve the ball so play could ensue once he found his way out of the not so shallow body of water he entered face first. He's generally unfazed by things that make me bugged eyes and hysterical. It's good that one of us can keep it together eh? Then came the issue of finding his way out of the pool. He figured he could latch onto the side with his front feet and just scatch his way out with his back feet against the side. No suck luck as the side is tile. No grip. He wasn't about to give up though and continued going to different locations and trying again. Now I know I should have helped him out but there were two thoughts going through my head. The first was that he was really struggling. And we all know what struggling means, don't we? That's right! A tired dog. Struggle away my friend and I might have a little time without your heavy breathing against my leg while you solicit any type of attention you can get from me. The second thought was that he might actually figure this out himself sooner or later. I mean, if he didn't, I could always just go in and save him from drowning and that would mean he plumb wore himself out. That's a victory in my mind, after all I would be the hero. Bonding? My heart won this one and I ended up just pulling him out. Of course he simply ended up back in the pool when his ball went back in and the entire process started afresh. My thinking suddenly changed as I realized at some point I would turn my back, the ball would go into the pool and without me knowing it, my dog would surely drown. Time to teach Charlie how to find the stairs, don't you think? Yeah, me too. So without further delay, the stairs became a part of entering and exiting the pool. Charles is a fast learner and doesn't usually forget things so once he had it, I was no longer worried about him going to a watery grave while I spaced out somewhere.

I would like to say I was certain to enquire whether anyone at the efficiency would mind Charles in the pool. I was assured that no one ever used the pool so why would it be a problem. Good enough. The next day I got up earlier than usual (YES!!) and headed out to work on my tan and just genrally have a great time in the sun with the boys. This included Charlie cooling off in the pool when he was overheating. There was this woman (I use that term loosely). This big huge malcontent sea cow, and from minute one she had it out for me. I tried, I honestly did. When she went by, I would say hello. I smiled. I acted in a friendly manner toward her no matter how snarky she was. No matter how many shitty comments this bitch made under her breath I could not be moved to brash behavior (which is normally how I am to people that suck for no reason other than the fact that they hate life and want to pin it on others rather than just try a little more. Screw them.). I just kept enjoying myself and stayed out of her way. Even Jim started staying out of her way when he noticed I didn't like him standing in front of her every time she came near him. She was certain to shoot nasty looks at them every chance she got. Even prepool. Well, when she came to collect her laundry, she saw me and Charlie racing for the ball in the pool (he's wicked competitive and I am a winner so we make an awesome match) and I guess she finally had her reason to wreck my good time. At this point I had been joined by a man that called himself Injun (more on Injun later). He said he saw me out by the pool by myself and thought I might like some company since (get this) no one ever uses the pool. He was this super cool older biker/hippy guy. Easy going and kind of funny really. We were talking and generally enjoying the awesome day/time provided for us when she asks me if I know the manager. I assure her I don't. Did I get permission to let the dog in the pool? Nope, absolutely not. She yells something about her kids using the pool and the dog having disease or some such nonsense and I just said I haven't seen anyone out here, no one else has minded thus far and that Charlie is well kept, doesn't shed and isn't making the pool dirty and if he was, I wouldn't have him in there to begin with. Which is true, I'm not a total asshole here, I just don't care what others think for the most part.

She yelled about something else to which Injun told her to get lost and stop harrassing me as she's not nice enough to let her kids enjoy any pool time and considering the fact that he lives there and knows her, he knows she's just trying to stir up trouble. Commence storming off. I was grateful and said so. I thought it was over. Not so. She came back and told me she was bringing her whole family over at 5 for a cookout and that she wanted me out of the pool area then. I told her I would be out by 4:30 and if she wanted me gone before that, just ask. No problem. I don't want to cause any trouble. Snarky comments. I guess she went and called the owner and made such a fuss that the owner said I had to go. I packed it up and headed back for GA (Taylor has to have his teeth done as well so I said I would help him with a drive home after they gas him up. Then we are going to head to Mobile, AL to celebrate the 4th of July.). I hope I haven't bored you. This story has a good ending after all. While saying good bye to my dad (and Injun, who helped me pack up the truck, what a guy) who was all confused about what the hell happened but assured me that all used up fat ugly women would always hate my guts, who appears but little miss snarky pants and her husband. She asks if I am leaving because of what happened. I tell her I am. She looks all surprised and guilty and says it doesn't have to be that way. I let her know it does because the owner threw me out after the stink she made. She says she doesn't understand because she really didn't even make a fuss. I tell her I am done discussing it as it's kind of a moot point now and really doesn't need further discussion considering what's done is done. She's all hang dog (I reign supreme!). Her husband who had been giving me the evil eye, turns it to his wife. While looking at her he says, "That's fucked up." He was filled in that that was not the fucked up part. The fucked up part was how little my dad and I see each other, we finally had the chance and she ruined it. On my birthday.

Side note: I received my first age bashing birthday card ever this year! On the outside it says in swirly happy lettering, "You're pretty" (which I was thinking was all obvious and stuff) and then when you open it, it says "Old". Thanks mom!!! You're the best!! This is war!

I jump in and tell her it's not that big a deal, I have a place in GA I can stay to which her husband looks horrified as it's 3:00 in the afternoon and I am going there right then because of his beloved c. (YES!) Continue evil eyed stare down with wife. I hug my dad and say good bye. I guess she went back later all guilt ridden to tell him she really didn't do anything. He said it needn't be discussed. She asked if there would be trouble and was told to look in the mirror and she'd find all the trouble she'd ever need. Chapter over.

I honestly would have felt okay about this were the woman a single dog hating person. As it is she has a passle of dirty ill bred kids and a pit bull that needs way more than it's getting and subsequently should in all probabilty never be allowed off leash (talk about irony). So the dog owner got me tossed due to my dogs. Yikes. I can't take it. The good news is she is her own demise. That I can handle just fine. Besides, I am now back at Taylors and enjoying myself thoroughly. Sure, the pool is missing and I love and live for pools but I'll take decent company over a pool any day of the week. I'll work on my tan when I can. Although I did have good company at the pool there for a little while. That guy Injun was funny. He had half his fingers on his left hand blown off from some steam accident and he was all hippy like. He even read my palm. Want to hear what he got out of it? Okay, first there is good stuff coming my way. NICENESS! Then he got all serious and firm and said, "You might want to be a little more cautious of the men you hang out with dear." Oh please, like this is news. I asked him if I should just go inside and read or something considering he was a man I was hanging out with. Laughter is good medicine. He says I have a vibrant aura. Here he is in all his glory. I am once again thrilled I wasn't quick to judge due to appearance.

So that's it with FL. Good freakin riddance. Once you remove the tough guy/pit bull parade, the cement jungle quality, the elitist pricks, the ghetto (where oh where has the middle class gone? Oh where oh where can it be!!), the incredible anger issues that comsume most people making them bitter and resentful, the boring layout of scenery (if you can even call it that) and the constant rumble of construction vehicles it really is a beautiful place. Oh yeah, and the constant reminder that dogs aren't allowed anywhere fun. Those things take away from the beauty. Not enough for me to miss it though. Sometimes, there are so many lizards sunning on the walk that it seems like the sidewalk is moving. The parrots have not been dissuaded and screech with abandon when it suits them. The sun is this phenomenal orb that takes its job very very seriously and sometimes even shines through the largest of thunder storms. The storms. Now they are something to reckon with. Anything that gets me to stop my voyage and pull over has my admiration. The thunder would shake the house and the lightening would put on a show Disney can't rival. The tropical vegetation around every corner was always pleasing to the eye. Always. I mean, the shrubbery was something to behold. And the deer. They're teeny. How can you stay upset with anything that houses tiny deer? I know I can't. We also found a 5 acre dog park. That is something.

In the end, all was not lost. I explored, found it lacking in some areas which made me not want to settle, but found it overflowing in other areas which made me glad I visited. Besides, isn't that what FL is all about, visiting and then going home? :)

I am seriously considering a CB radio for this fantastic vehicular voyage. Don't forget to visit my flickr page as there are some new photos added. Over & Out

Definitions

Strong signal defined. Well, mostly anyway... When I do not have a signal (read: am visiting a hot man), I will not be able to blog as I do not have a signal. No signal, no blog. Ha ha. Anyway, lots has happened and I will record it all to you just as soon as I get the chance. The definition of "get the chance" is loosly translated as: there are pictures invloved and that would mean I had to download them from camera and phone onto the computer. And I am just plain lazy right now.

Until then. :)

The need for strong signals

I don't get a signal where I am going. If I end up at a WiFi place I'll blog there. The phone is always an option, now isn't it? The plan is to relax, get sun and enjoy myself. Other than that, who knows. Talk to you soon. :)

We came, we had a sandwich, we ditched.

Now that my belly is full of meat babies and cookie babies, I'm feeling satisfied it's going to be hard to show the amount of rage and dissapointment I was filled with yesterday. :) I'll try my hardest.

It all started with me lamenting the fact that I am not a morning person. No, wait, I am a morning person. I love the morning! I am simply never up to enjoy it and it irks the shit out of me. Anyway, my new plan is jumping rope every morning. Notice I said morning. I mean this. Besides, I never want to work out last thing. I always end up blowing it off. I am also going to get into the habit of going to bed nice and early so this will not only be possible, it will also be enjoyable. There is nothing worse than waking up early and being super bitchy all day because you are tired from staying up all night. Nothing. Unless of course you are simply super moody like me and prone to bitchiness. Then it's cool no matter what time you went to bed or what time you get up. Perfect.

Anyway, after the rude awakening that I am still not doing well at this morning thing it was time to go to the Keys. What a hugely long ride. Hours. Some of it goes through the Everglades. Am I the only jackass in the entire world that thought the Everglades had something, anything, to do with trees? It's not. Well, they're fleeting and more like shrubs. It's mostly a bog. The bog of eternal stench. The smell that comes off that thing is gag worthy. Stopping to take a picture of a Michelangelo cloud made my stomach churn. I was fed up with all this long before we ever even hit the Keys. Okay, the Keys. How many times have I heard how much fun they are? How many times have I heard of their beauty? Many. The answer is many. Again, hype. Would I go back? If it was going to be at someone's house and it was a promise of relaxing vaca time doing nothing other than lying about and watching sunsets. Then yes. If I had to stay for four hours and get paid a million dollars Paris Hilton style? Yes again. Otherwise, no. No I would not.

On the way to the keys we passed all these houses. Nice ones. On stilts. They were very cool and the more we passed the more I liked them. Of course they are directly next to the water and I cannot help but wonder if they fair better in hurricane weather due to the air being able to pass right under them? Also, I bet it helps tremendously in times of flooding. Here is a helpful visual of a house on stilts.

The Keys themselves are beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I did not overlook the natural beauty that surrounded me at every turn. But the incredibly long drive over bridges (I totally went over the 7 mile bridge that was undoubtedly 7 miles long) and over water is just that... bridges and water. I tried, I really did. It probably doesn't sound like it here, but I tried to keep it positive. I even oooed and ahhhed at things. It was fun. Also, along the way I was hoping to see an alligator. I did. Granted, it was road kill, but I saw one. There were live nature snipets everywhere though. Everywhere. Birds and lizards I never normally see. Oh and the teeny tiny key deer. I was really hoping to see one. It was one of the main reasons I went. On the ride back, while driving through the natural habitat of key deer (we'll get back to this one in a minute), I actually saw one of the miniscule creatures. It was in fact tiny. About the size of Charlie. And it was a buck (aren't the males always strapping compared to the females?). Whatever, the point is that I saw a key deer and all was not lost on this trip to hell and back again. If you would like to know about the slight key deer, you can read up on them here. The easiest part of finding a key deer is the fact that they have been allotted only so much space to dwell in. It is right next to the main drag and fenced. It is also broadcasted about on signs with blinking lights when coming into said territory. Did you know that speed kills key deer? I didn't either until a sign told me all about it. I never even knew it was a problem. And with all the drug trafficking cut down on, they must be having a super hard time. You gotta love developers. They find a piece of land they want and they build. Then all the tiny little deer begin smashing off windsheilds and in a developers mind become a natural nuisance. The best solution is usually more building, but in this case, they did not get a little key deer condo where they could live out the rest of their life in peaceful retirement. Nope, they got a fence around a tiny plot of land. A large black chain link fence. How natural! And the totally hysterical part of this fence are the random openings in it that lead from their "natural habitat" (which appears to me to be a garbage strewn wasteland, but I am no key deer so what do I know?) right onto the open roadway. There is nowhere to go from these openings except onto the traffic laden road. Awesome. One of the openings had a rope across it. I guess key deer respect boundries. They must be super smart. Another one had nothing. Just a gaping maw beckoning all the petite bambis towards the blinding headlights of fast moving deer disfiguring metal.

The other thing that lives in the Keys are the Key Critters. They are humanoid beings that have 30 year tans, long burly scraggly beards and something that resembles clothing covers their bodies. It seems their natural food source is liquid and they consume it from a paperbag. They are found frequenting bus stops or lounging under trees. Sometimes they are moved toward line dancing or slap fights. They live by the beach as they stay in the Keys. There is no migrating path for these strange creatures.

Ah yes. Key West. Let's see... There were homeless chickens everywhere. You heard roosters crowing frequently. I'm not kidding. They just bustled about everywhere. We saw a family of them living under a dumpster. Dumpster Chickens. Please do not mistaken this as me talking about someones pet chickens. Some were feeding on the side of the open road in a Blockbuster parking lot no where near houses. The people sucked out loud. The ones that weren't gay or tourists were simply total assholes. They drove like assholes, they talked like assholes, they looked like assholes. It was something to behold. A bunch of sullen people living in the most boring (but beautiful) place ever. Once you get past the people (which is difficult because they are everywhere) and do a little exploring you realize there is one, I repeat, ONE interesting street. The only other even remotely interesting places are the main drags in and out of the place. This is due to the fact that it has things like gas stations and Wendy's. It's the color I suppose. Straying from this one interesting road sometimes places you into scary looking ghetto areas where the people appear to be equally as angry but poor. Angry and rich, and angry and poor are two totally different things. One happens to be unsettling to drive though. Along the ONE street that had things to do there were shops and places to drink. The shops looked cute but I wasn't drawn to them. The bars looked like bars. There was one outdoor eatery but by then I had had it. I wanted out about as fast as I was in. This one street wonder town was old and grating on my one last nerve that was trying to hold itself together. Needless to say, I did not try to get a picture of myself at "the southern most point". I am not into jamming myself amongst hoardes of people to get a picture of something I could have just as easily never seen without it adversly effecting my life. And you THINK you know pricey gas. You don't know. We're talking $3.49 per gallon. Regular! That's enough to make anyone super pissed off huh? I'm pissed off thinking about it. One more reason to hate Key West.

Oh right. Then there was the dog aspect of it all. I kept picturing this happy little island that resembled P Town. You know, shops and ice cream places, places to rest and people watch... but most importantly, I thought it would be dog friendly. Most gay places are. And before you get all huffy puffy because it seems like I am bashing or anything like that I would like to point out the fact that Key West has a freaking walkway thing dedicated to the people that have died from AIDS in Key West. Gross. And I am not anti gay. Gay people are usually friendly. They are also usually dog friendly. Pet friendly. Just plain old friendly. And I am dismayed at the lack of friendliness. Maybe the rage of driving for hours to reach NOTHING was keeping them at bay? Ha ha.

So I ended up getting a sandwich and then getting the hell out of there. All in all my trip to Key West equalled BOO KEY WEST!! BOO!!!

Moving on...

Today was rather a slow day. OH! I totally got up early!! Okay, earlier but this is a good start to success. First coffee. Then Target to get a fish holder. See, the fish have been travelling rather precariously. They have been riding shotgun (on the floor mind you) along with Jimmy. I have had them propped up with a sheet wrapped about them so they don't spill and so I have something to drape over them when sunlight threatens to cook them alive. Oh, it's also to make it so their glass vases don't smash against anything. Throughout all of this, they are thriving. Since they are being so cooperative I went out and got them a carrier today. If they are going to be gypsy fish, they deserve the very best transporter don't you think? It's quite beautiful and does the job tremendoulsy well. I'll be sure to get pictures once my camera batteries are charged. It's worth noting.

Tomrrow I am getting up early (earlier anyway), taking the boys to the self grooming facility and then heading over to hang out with my dad. I would like some quality time. Since I have been complaining about the lack of canine acceptance here I am going to stay where he is for the duration of this quality time. The room has a front door that goes right to my parking spot and the backdoor (get this) goes directly into the area where the pool is located. And it's fenced. HEAVEN. Jim and I can work on our tans, I can throw the ball for Charles, have water available at all times AND take a dip when I am hot. YES!!! Oh yeah, and this wonderland is right down the street from the dentist. I haven't been able to get through to them so I ran up there today and slipped a note in their door. I am half way through the tooth fixing mission. Hopefully they'll get back to me soon...

Believing the hype...

Yesterday was awesome. I finally went to the beach. It was way to hot for the boys so they were trapped indoors where it would remain a nice cool controlled temperature. The beach ruled. Not only did I overcome my totally irrational fear of swimming in the ocean (the little someone wriggling under my foot made it more of a challenge) but I got some color as well. I flat out burned. I am now a nice shade of pink. I am used to living in New England where it takes about 5 consecutive hours in the sun to get any type color on this washed out skin wasteland, but apparently, around these here parts it only takes a little over a couple hours to cook yourself into a blistered mess. Awesome. I allowed myself some flesh rest today but tomorrow I will be back at the ultimate tanning experience. I might even get a new bathing suit to finish the process. The cool part about here is that you can totally remove any tan lines in an hour. They just go away and new ones are made. Interesting. It makes me want to move here and spend one hour per day getting strange shapes on me just to change them all the next day. Anyway, the beach was all I wanted it to be as the water is under 50 degrees and is totally beautiful and clear. I posted some pictures on my flickr account for you. I believe you can go into my sets and see each set for each picture taking experience rather than going through them all one by one. Totally up to you, I just personally like options.

Another thing I did yesterday was visit South Beach. After hearing how incredible it is, I thought I would give it a shot. I want to say that believing the hype (something I am usually against to the fullest of my capacity) has once again proved to be not worth it in the slightest (further reinforcement that I should not believe hype!). It reminds me that people also find things like Disney World and 6 Flags exciting. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty. Overly so. It was so pretty it was kind of surreal. Everything is fake. The people, the lifestyle, the shops... everything. I have never felt so out of place in my life. Had I self esteem issues I wouldn't even be blogging right now, I would be at the gym. I might never leave. Do they have life time memberships? I bet they do around South Beach. I also would have scheduled my hair, nail and plastic surgery appointments. My hair is all wrong, all my nails need help and my boobs are like 300 times to small. I could also stretch my face back a little I bet. Hmm... Luckily I do not have self esteem issues and instead of feeling less than I simply felt totally lost in a false representaion of what is supposedly a rocking good time. A rocking gay good time. Needless to say I probably won't be frequenting SoBe or even going back for any length of time unless I happen to be cutting through and run out of gas.

It has come to my attention there is an unknown aficionado on the sly. I'm not the type that revels in secrets so this irks me slightly, however I am all about having fans so I rather hope this activity continues. Isn't that conflicting? The fact that my last name was used narrows the search considerably. I admit, I'm curious to the max. I am also psyched this blog is being read. I mean, imagine having a blog that was never even looked at except for by you? I guess that would be a diary of sorts now wouldn't it? Blech. Then you have to worry about people peeking and it gets all stressful and tense. I'm keeping mine open to the public. Horray for you!

Today reaped many many rewards. I have told you how not dog friendly this place is right? Well, it's not. That's not totally true. If your dog is under 20#, you are Latin, carry it in your purse and refer to it as "my baby", they are allowed anywhere. Seriously. Since both my dogs are clearly more than 20#, I am not Latin and I refuse to call them my babies, we have to find other options of them running amok. One of the choices is the beach. At night. We skulk about the beach after hours and hope Charlie's barking doesn't get us thrown off (so far so good) and also that we don't lose James (commence using blinky lights!). There is also the super cloudy/rainy times when all parks are pretty much empty. Then we own this place. I also told you about the dog park mission that failed so badly the other day. But I am not easily dissuaded. F that. I kept on keeping on and decided today was the day to chance driving into the ghetto and try out the Amelia Earhart Park which had a promised 5 acre dog park in it. SUCCESS!!! That's right! Not only did we find said park but we also never felt threatened during the ride into the higest crime area in Florida! Nice!! Not only was it not even *half* as bad as everyone acted like it would be, but the park was huge, lush and beautiful! 5 acres for the dogs to run about and act silly on. This is the part that got me since the dogs weren't even considering running about for long periods of time as it is hot as hell here. But the open space and freedom was worth every second. Pictures of this tropical doggy paradise are in fact posted on Flickr and I am so happy I finally found a place that was cordial towards canines. Oh yeah, and that actually existed.

You know all the things I spoke of doing? I don't want to do them anymore. If I want to see monkeys in a cage I'll simply peer into one of the many pointless shops on South Beach. I have seen a plethra of orchids. Bonsai trees are rad but I have seen them as well. The problem with all of these places is that they are far away and I have to ditch the boys to accomplish them. I really have no intrest in dumping the boys just to see things I have seen before. Also, I love the morning. Especially the early morning. Trouble is, I am never up tp enjoy it! So once I rouse myself from slumber it's getting to late to drive about and get sucked into the vast expensive nothingness of tourism. Doesn't sound so bad when it's worded that way eh? The interesting part of this is that I am usually totally happy just walking about in the great outdoors looking around and enjoying the bountiful eye pleasure nature permits here. This place is one massive botanical garden. Tomorrow I am going to pack it up and head to the Keys. I have wanted to see them and I can bring the boys. Heaven. We will not hunt the tiny key deer and we will not exit the vehicle while on alligator alley. We will however, take pictures. I might even stay for the breathtaking sunset everyone raves about. Hopefully this isn't one of those hype things.

Oh, I have made a route to follow on my search for joy. I'll tell you all about it sometime soon. I am going to get my teeth fixed as well as they are starting to break. I'll tell you all about that too.

It's the rainy season

Still. This means every time I put on clothing that is minimal enough for a great tan, the ominous storm clouds roll in. Or, let's say we're thinking of going to the beach for some fun in the sun. No such luck. Don't get me wrong, there are bouts of sunlight and they are fantastic and bright. But they don't last all that long because another storm is right around the corner. This is the reason I am not taking many pictures. Had I known it would be so saturated, I would have gotten a waterproof camera. Hmm. I'm just going to wait until it's sunny.

Today was another wet day so tomorrow will be the day for the bonsai place, the fruit place and possibly a monkey kingdom. The boys will have to wait inside for my return since I am guessing they don't allow dogs into the monkey place. I will bring my camera but if the monkeys start throwing shit or anything like that I am not staying. Wish me luck.

I tried to find a dog park in Fort Lauderdale today. It was written about online and the messages made it sound great. I couldn't find it. Bummer. Then I was going to go the dog park located in Opa-Locka. It's in the Amelia Earhart Park and it says it's 5 whole acres! However. Opa-Locka is crime ridden so I might save that for another day. Like once I have bought my gun and bullet proof vest. Just kidding. I'm going to wait until my crack stash is a little lower and just kill two birds with one stone. I am also going to make sure it's nice and early so I am not there at night. I think we all know what happens when you're in the ghetto one night falls. I actually tried to find this heavenly drug filled dog friendly area after trying to locate the invisible one. The directions said to take exit 9. Ends up, there is no exit 9. There were 3 exit 10's though. Then there was exit 8. How insulting. I'm going to try and find an alternate route. Another super huge threatening storm was coming so the boys got their run about next to the intracoastal. It was nice and there was shelter that kept the rain from soaking those that didn't want a good soaking. Also, it was cool enough that Charles could finally run his ass off and get some of the crazy out. It's tough to find places that Charlie can run as most places are on leash parks. Total bullshit, I know. I could never live somewhere that wasn't dog friendly, it just doesn't make sense to any of us. Hopefully out west will be a little more affable when it comes to my canine friends needs and wants.

If I am not mistaken

I believe I have made it so anyone can comment on my blog. I don't even think you have to be a member of blogger. Does anyone want to give it a whirl to see if I am correct? How cool would that be? If this is the case, let the games begin.

Lets try this again, shall we?

Ahhh, much better!! Blog.com is the worst! Just letting you know so if you ever decide to blog you don't go there and get all frustrated and angry and feel like blogging might not be worth it. Blogging is so worth it. Every time. No fail. I recommend blogger.com for all your blogging needs. :) The super cool thing about this new blog is that a.) it doesn't suck to use keeping me happy and fullfilled and b.) my Flickr link is now to the right side of the blog for your viewing enjoyment. YAY! So easy, so worth it.

All right then, I'm in FL. I drove straight from GA to this tropical wonderland and I am psyched I did. I got here Thursday night. Since today was Father's Day I thought it appropriate that I see my father so this was perfect timing over all. After visiting and eating dinner I went for a walk on the beach with the boys. Running later in the evening is better as it is hot as hell here during the day light hours. This walk on the beach was traumatic as I lost Jim for a little while. He was there and then he wasn't. Needless to say I was running back and forth on the beach screaming his name in the most hysterical manner. He was located up by where we had begun, hanging out, looking lost with a fisherman. The nice man went into Jim's wallet and called my phone. Well, I left my phone in the truck of course so while I was running and screaming (so much so that people came onto their balconies to see what all the hooplah was) he was calmly calling my phone to let me know where my dog was. Excellent. My largest mistake was not bringing the phone. The second mistake was not putting on the boys blinker lights. F. Lesson learned. I think Jim was distracted by one of the many stray cats he was hunting in the bushes along the fencing and just went to far out. It was THE WORST moment of my life. He never does that. Okay, he used to never do that. Anyway, the point of this story is that I was running about while my head and mouth kept saying, "I cannot lose my dog! I must not lose Jimmy! Please don't have gone to the road!" and other negative frantic things like that. Then I remembered The Secret! I changed how I was thinking and instead of saying what I didn't want, I started saying what I DID want. Shortly after that he was found. This shit seriously works. And if you're not reading the book, you are missing out BIG TIME. Just saying. If you are at all interested, you can order it here.

Okay, back to this tropical wonderland. There are obviously palm trees everywhere and often during the day you'll watch parrots fly by while they yell their nasty parrot noises. They aren't so offensive when they are wild. In fact they are downright beautiful! There are lizards everywhere for Jim to chase and there is a cat that sits under the truck all night that Charlie wants as a new best friend *so badly* so he circles the truck all night trying to not be afraid and trying to look friendly. The cat is so not buying this crap.

There is an orchid nursery that I want to see because I am a huge orchid fan (as you can obviously tell by my visit to the GA botanical garden). Also, there is the Coral Castle. A man that was only 100 pounds and just over 5' built it. Then he tore it down and moved it or something. Regardless, it sounds rad. If you don't know what I am talking about, you can find out here. Then there is also a Bonsai Garden that looks really neat. I am so into teeny tiny trees. Then there is the fruit and spice park which looks interesting. It is a botanical garden that grows over 500 varieties of fruits, nuts, spices and more. I'll tell you how they are. One of the places I have always wanted to see is the FL Keys. I'm going. Part of it is a seven mile bridge which sounds thrilling. There are also little tiny key deer that sound super cute. We are not allowed to hunt them so the boys will have to wait in the car if I find a chance to stalk and snap pictures. Then there is alligator alley. They are not allowed to hunt us so we are going to wait in the car until a decent picture is had from inside the safety zone.

So there you have it. I have decided the first day anywhere we are going to stay and see the sights at will be our getting acclimated day. This way the boys can see everything is in fact okay and I can unwind from driving 900 miles in one day. There are soon to be pictures of the utopia that is surrounding me. I would stay somewhere like this for the weather. But the people. Oh, the people... They are unbearably slow at EVERYTHING and they are also quite angry. Since I am searching for something upbeat, this isn't for me. There are many cool things about FL when you ignore the people. It's the rainy season so there are massive thunder storms. They roll in out of nowhere and slam their way through in minutes. The lightening is awesome. One minute it's sunny and beautiful, the next it's ominous and loud, then the next it's sunny and beautiful again. So cool. If you are in a place that has rain you can literally drive down the street to better weather. Kick ass.

That's it for now. Talk to you soon.