Not being a sarcastic condescending bitch can be rather difficult at times. For me anyway. The last few weeks have been especially trying as the North Scottsdale botox queens are coming out of the woodwork and they all have unruly pocket savages that need their hair cut. These chicks are intensely obtuse. Talking to
one is exhausting. Talking to one after another is enough to make me want to whack them and ask them if just this once they can
try, for the love of everything holy to talk like a normal person instead of an out of breath, slightly hysterical half wit. I worry though. If I smack her, will that one neuron go all haywire and not bounce back to the other side of the brain in time to make the "breathe" connection? Bullying to save sanity. That's my new motto. The reason I am telling you this is because the other day I had a slight pang of what I think was envy. I am not normally a jealous person. I'll strongly consider someone not worth what they are receiving but it has never stayed with me past the point of shrugging it off. But I'm dealing with this chick the other day after I had groomed her tiny yorkie pup. This dog shrieked like I was ripping his legs off while I brushed him. 40 minutes later he was slightly better. I couldn't bathe or groom him. I could only acclimate him to the brush and trim him up where it was needed. It was ridiculous. Then in bounces his heavily done up D&B wearing, Barbie doll fake tit blonde bombshell of an owner. You know the one... to much of what she doesn't need and to little of what she does. She's all bubbly and laughing about the whole thing like it is just
the funniest thing she has ever heard in her life. Well, no, she laughed like that the entire time I spoke with her. About anything. You know the laugh. It's not quite human and annoying as hell. I want to smack her just to see if she'll short out, you know? I slowly explain to her that she has to brush him. She blinks her super wide eyes a couple of times, nods, gives that nails down the chalk board way to happy for your own good laughter yet again and prances out the door with her tiny mad man and my brain goes nuts-o. Here was my thinking pattern: I could be these chicks and do a far better job of it. I could be her AND be taken seriously AND actually be productive. After dealing with this kind of lunacy throughout the entire day I am actually stewing about these chicks landing a totally carefree life. Of course when I got home and told Mr. F he reminded me that they are probably living on plastic and about two checks behind and when the shit hits the fan they are going to be far from happy-go-lucky. He was also kind enough to remind me that they will never be looked at in a serious fashion. He's right of course which is why I verbally accosted him first. Well, that and because he always showers me with compliments and after a day like that one, I needed some damn it. Although, I am still not sure if that was jealousy or simply being fed up from a long day packed full of absolute ignorance. I am very proud of myself for keeping it together and being as nice as I could be. Which was downright pleasant as all my focus was toward keeping myself from cringing and running in the other direction screaming. Go me.
Oh hey, check it out. We are thinking about buying a house. We need more room. The guest room turned into a weight room that doubles as a garage is nice and all but now that we have the bench and everything, I don't even know if the bike will fit. Hmm. Mr. F
longs for an actual garage for all his saws and mechanical going ons. I would like a pool that
we make the rules for. Yeah. Jim and Tabitha have requested a yard. A big one. I'm bringing all my plants and once settled the vines are going in the ground so they can grow without restriction onto whatever surrounds the big yard. Mr. F needs an office to call his own so he can trade comfortably. Truth. PA is not being ignored but it's going to have to wait. Fine, good. Progress is progress after all isn't it? :F Define progress. Ha. I was pondering everything that is happening around me and I came to the sudden conclusion that I am astoundingly pleased with it all. Wild.
We finally checked out the Botanical Gardens. Very cool. I don't remember most of the names of the plants I looked at so you only get a couple of them. If it matters that much to you there is always google OR get a plane ticket and come see them yourself. You can totally stay with us in the living room/guest room if you'd like. Whatever ends up happening, xeriscape plants are rad. The desert is about to burst into colorful blooms here so you'll probably see more like these at some point.
This about covers the slideshows. EXCEPT for the yard from start to finish. Oooo... that's a NICE one! M&M shout out!
