Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Faced
Ever feel like you are getting a universal in your face?
Direct quote: "What are you talking about? I love this car. Besides, the Farmers Almanac said it's going to be a mild winter."
Direct quote: "What are you talking about? I love this car. Besides, the Farmers Almanac said it's going to be a mild winter."
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Being busy for the holidays makes me feel like an adult
I was supposed to go to yoga on Tuesday but my brother bailed out and I just don't want to go alone. Once I am past a couple of classes maybe. My idea of group settings where I participate have changed a bit and I get jumpy. Hmm. We went and saw The Fighter instead and as much as I am getting tired of the bad boy Boston party Hollywood is throwing as of late, it was a decent film. And pretty right on. Just like all the other bad boy Boston films as of late damn it. The Town. Just go see it. It was awesome.
I went to The Slutcracker with AA. It was a Burlesque theme, and it was pretty great. We sat in the front row and that rocks any time you get to do it. AA said, it was like they were putting on the show just for us. That's how I feel about most things but without the people in front of you it's a lot easier to imagine. I don't know how I feel about Burlesque. I mean, I don't look down on it or anything like that, I just don't know how I feel when it is presented to me. I watch it, I dig it and then I question it for a good long time. But then again, I feel that way about a bunch of things, now don't I?
The lights in my car totally went off a while back and I was all yay my car fixed itself. It lasted for a little while and I was so pleased even though I got the typical commentary from everyone who knows better about how cars don't fix themselves and just because lights go off blah blah blah. So hey, to all those people, the lights are back on. Look at that, you were right. Bastards. Thanks for putting that out there over and over again. The neat-o part is that the lights went back on right as I needed an oil change so I like to think that's an overall win right there. As much as this little car has a hard time in super snowy conditions, it totally has my back.
We have the coolest dog ever here and he rules planet good dog. Not only did he ride about with me to complete Christmas errands the evening I picked him up he did it in such a well mannered fashion that it actually made it more enjoyable. And seriously, how enjoyable are Christmas errands? Then once back at the house, I let the Tabster out to meet him and he was the perfect gentleman even though she was slightly maniacal about having a new best friend. He and the James did fine. It's the James. Come on now. This little dude is just it though. Quiet, impeccable behavior, plays well with everyone... what more could I ask for really? I might see if they'll trade me for Tabitha. They kind of look the same so I don't see why it wouldn't work out.
Okay so maybe trading is a bit much but this dude is rad. This is the type of guy who has a can do I am totally trustworthy kind of attitude because, well, he is. Where should he sleep? How about wherever he wants! Dog beds everywhere just in case he decides he likes a certain room better! Hey man, I'm going to step out for a minute alright? Yes! That sounds great! I'll be just fine and waiting right here for you being the most perfect dog ever! Want to let him into the backyard with everyone and not have to worry about gearing up to be totally present? Cool, you go ahead and just supervise through the glass slider! Want him to come inside or over to you? Just say the word and he is up close and personal! Need a thorough tongue bath on both feet? You got it! The list goes on and on. My personal favorite is his one sided tail wag whenever you look in his direction. Total confirmation that you not only exist but you are important and loved. The ultimate dog. In my house.
I went to The Slutcracker with AA. It was a Burlesque theme, and it was pretty great. We sat in the front row and that rocks any time you get to do it. AA said, it was like they were putting on the show just for us. That's how I feel about most things but without the people in front of you it's a lot easier to imagine. I don't know how I feel about Burlesque. I mean, I don't look down on it or anything like that, I just don't know how I feel when it is presented to me. I watch it, I dig it and then I question it for a good long time. But then again, I feel that way about a bunch of things, now don't I?
The lights in my car totally went off a while back and I was all yay my car fixed itself. It lasted for a little while and I was so pleased even though I got the typical commentary from everyone who knows better about how cars don't fix themselves and just because lights go off blah blah blah. So hey, to all those people, the lights are back on. Look at that, you were right. Bastards. Thanks for putting that out there over and over again. The neat-o part is that the lights went back on right as I needed an oil change so I like to think that's an overall win right there. As much as this little car has a hard time in super snowy conditions, it totally has my back.
We have the coolest dog ever here and he rules planet good dog. Not only did he ride about with me to complete Christmas errands the evening I picked him up he did it in such a well mannered fashion that it actually made it more enjoyable. And seriously, how enjoyable are Christmas errands? Then once back at the house, I let the Tabster out to meet him and he was the perfect gentleman even though she was slightly maniacal about having a new best friend. He and the James did fine. It's the James. Come on now. This little dude is just it though. Quiet, impeccable behavior, plays well with everyone... what more could I ask for really? I might see if they'll trade me for Tabitha. They kind of look the same so I don't see why it wouldn't work out.
Okay so maybe trading is a bit much but this dude is rad. This is the type of guy who has a can do I am totally trustworthy kind of attitude because, well, he is. Where should he sleep? How about wherever he wants! Dog beds everywhere just in case he decides he likes a certain room better! Hey man, I'm going to step out for a minute alright? Yes! That sounds great! I'll be just fine and waiting right here for you being the most perfect dog ever! Want to let him into the backyard with everyone and not have to worry about gearing up to be totally present? Cool, you go ahead and just supervise through the glass slider! Want him to come inside or over to you? Just say the word and he is up close and personal! Need a thorough tongue bath on both feet? You got it! The list goes on and on. My personal favorite is his one sided tail wag whenever you look in his direction. Total confirmation that you not only exist but you are important and loved. The ultimate dog. In my house.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Heart center open, breathing with your nose, shoulders relaxed and down, it's okay to wobble, trees move in the wind...
I have never seen so many dash lights come on at the same time. VSC, TRACK OFF, CHECK ENGINE... good lord, now what? I think the VSC is because I pumped gas without turning my car off. Twice. This is new for me and I am not certain why I felt the need to suddenly make that habit. So. But the rest? I have no idea. I had the dude at AutoZone read me the codes and apparently the cylinders are misfiring. Cylinder 3 and 4 to be exact. Which explains the sudden dogging, the strange and uneven idling, not to mention the shit gas mileage. It does not explain the screaming noise that only happens when the car is warmed up and traveling at about 35 - 40. If my tire falls off, it was definitely a bearing. Otherwise, it's a belt. I'm going with the belt since they're constantly making crazy noises anyway. What's really interesting about the "belt noise" is that any time I have a fully functioning mechanic in the car it is totally silent. In fact, the car runs perfectly in that case. I have decided I am going to either marry a car mechanic or at the very least, sucker one into riding in my car all the time so as to avoid any other vehicular issues. Problem solved.
I went to a yoga class last night. My complete and utter lack of focus is paired with my sudden bouts of silent crying made it more of an adventure than I expected. The teacher is a woman I met years ago at a tattoo convention and she is the perfect example of a yoga teacher. Super positive, incredibly flexible and stock full of praise for a job well done without any type of judgement. "No one is on the same path. We are all fine exactly where we are. We feel our space and accept our space". This is precisely what I have been looking for. I think I would go nightly were it not for the part where she charges people. I might get out my yoga DVD and just do that shit like I used to. Practice makes perfect and whatnot.
Anyway, there I was in class with a bunch of other people. My brother was ignoring me because he hates when I am "a spectacle" which in his world essentially means when we are anywhere there are other people besides us. I kept laughing and made a very conscious effort to try and keep it under my breath but WOW am I out of shape and not flexible. I also kept confusing my left from my right and doing crazy ass things that made no sense. I ended up putting my mat next to this other chick who was some kind of super yogi so of course I starting keeping my eye on her to see if I was doing the right movements but she never once broke her pose or breathing pattern and balanced like she was the mf'ing equinox. So there I was falling all over the place, staring at her laughing, with my brother beside me wearing his judging face (which is so not yoga flavored I might add). And even though I really was trying, I was still all out of breath and feeling weird that me and the hundred year old lady matched for flexibility but more weirded out by the fact that I so wanted to reach out and push little miss perfect just enough that if she didn't tip over she would have to at the very least fix her position. So unyoga of me. At least I kept it on the inside. The crying was a little more difficult but luckily it always came at a point where my head was down or at the very end when we were relaxing and letting our "muscles fall off the bone" and I kept it under control.
Since I was having so much trouble stopping the hysterical woman inside me from screaming, sleep was becoming quite the commodity. In fact it was more like staring at the ceiling trying to persuade myself to go to sleep in this little sing songy mantra that did nothing but make me feel more crazy than when I just stayed up and got all slaphappy and psychotic. Enter pzizz sleep module. I turn it on and get all comfy and next thing you know, the crazy lady takes a breath and it's just long enough for me to attain my slumber goal. When I remember the tea with Valerian root I not only go out, I stay out. It's so fantastic. There is also the 20 minute refresher that for some reason only works for me when I don't have any disturbances. If the James so much as breathes loud, it doesn't work. But when I close myself into a room, put in the ear buds and go for it, it's like a landslide of revival. Two thumbs up, highly recommended and all that other stuff. Oh yeah and I'm not saying pirate the codes to avoid paying for it because that would be wrong and I am a good person who tries to do the right thing.
I went to a yoga class last night. My complete and utter lack of focus is paired with my sudden bouts of silent crying made it more of an adventure than I expected. The teacher is a woman I met years ago at a tattoo convention and she is the perfect example of a yoga teacher. Super positive, incredibly flexible and stock full of praise for a job well done without any type of judgement. "No one is on the same path. We are all fine exactly where we are. We feel our space and accept our space". This is precisely what I have been looking for. I think I would go nightly were it not for the part where she charges people. I might get out my yoga DVD and just do that shit like I used to. Practice makes perfect and whatnot.
Anyway, there I was in class with a bunch of other people. My brother was ignoring me because he hates when I am "a spectacle" which in his world essentially means when we are anywhere there are other people besides us. I kept laughing and made a very conscious effort to try and keep it under my breath but WOW am I out of shape and not flexible. I also kept confusing my left from my right and doing crazy ass things that made no sense. I ended up putting my mat next to this other chick who was some kind of super yogi so of course I starting keeping my eye on her to see if I was doing the right movements but she never once broke her pose or breathing pattern and balanced like she was the mf'ing equinox. So there I was falling all over the place, staring at her laughing, with my brother beside me wearing his judging face (which is so not yoga flavored I might add). And even though I really was trying, I was still all out of breath and feeling weird that me and the hundred year old lady matched for flexibility but more weirded out by the fact that I so wanted to reach out and push little miss perfect just enough that if she didn't tip over she would have to at the very least fix her position. So unyoga of me. At least I kept it on the inside. The crying was a little more difficult but luckily it always came at a point where my head was down or at the very end when we were relaxing and letting our "muscles fall off the bone" and I kept it under control.
Since I was having so much trouble stopping the hysterical woman inside me from screaming, sleep was becoming quite the commodity. In fact it was more like staring at the ceiling trying to persuade myself to go to sleep in this little sing songy mantra that did nothing but make me feel more crazy than when I just stayed up and got all slaphappy and psychotic. Enter pzizz sleep module. I turn it on and get all comfy and next thing you know, the crazy lady takes a breath and it's just long enough for me to attain my slumber goal. When I remember the tea with Valerian root I not only go out, I stay out. It's so fantastic. There is also the 20 minute refresher that for some reason only works for me when I don't have any disturbances. If the James so much as breathes loud, it doesn't work. But when I close myself into a room, put in the ear buds and go for it, it's like a landslide of revival. Two thumbs up, highly recommended and all that other stuff. Oh yeah and I'm not saying pirate the codes to avoid paying for it because that would be wrong and I am a good person who tries to do the right thing.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
There aint no rewind button fool! Every minute is a fresh moment up in this here place.
Oh shit. I'm almost positive the Raina show is about to start back up. Please take your seats and turn off your phones. Or put them in the washing machine.
Yeah yeah, ha ha, super funny, go you. Oh wait. I never mentioned the washed phone here, did I? Huh. It made me wild because I don't normally do things like that with my electronics and attempt to take decent care of them. I just don't lose or break that stuff and haven't in an while. Well. Er. Heh. Oh, what can I say? It was a good run while it lasted.
It went something like this: I was getting my laundry together when I decided I also wanted to wash the sweatshirt that was currently on my body. I emptied the pockets (which included my phone) onto the dining room table. I then heard my message tone and since I had been in the middle of a text session with someone and have the focus of a ferret, I picked the phone back up before I took off the sweatshirt. You see where this is going right? Phone back in pocket, sweatshirt into washer, communication to the outside world gone like yesterday albeit a super squeaky clean phone. I tried the rice trick to no avail. I wanted to be all boo, I hate this missing phone thing and don't get me wrong, I was a little panicky when driving a distance from home at first but then... the silence. The no phone = no responsibility sweet silence. And I started taking it all in. I leave the house and shhhh... that's right... I'm an owl on the wings of the darkest night. And I got into it big time, until someone went all snark snark. And yes, try not to faint, I cared enough to do something about it. Commence phone shopping. Which is the entire point of this long drawn out totally unnecessary lead in.
At the phone store I put my busted ass phone on the counter and tell my unlucky victim of the day that I need a new one and I want the purple one. Yes, that was the only thing I cared about at that time, excuse me for being a light sensitive idiot and going ga ga over the color purple. The color, not the movie. That movie is just plain awful. So yeah, there I was all omg, I love the purple one btw so like can I have that one please mr salesman sir? He looked surprised and told me that's not the one I want. I then had him explain crackberries to me in every single minute detail. Mostly because it makes me laugh, a little because he's arguing with me out loud instead of keeping it in his head and a surd I'm not the phone expert, he is = that'll learn him. But didn't he come back with "you won't enjoy that phone, it's for beginners" and even though I guffawed at the absurdity of that statement, he bravely went on to explain that I am in the advanced user category of blackberry users. That's right, I'm advanced. As much as it's one of the funniest things I have heard in a while, and I now feel I have the right to mock the people who are so clearly beginners (whatever that means! It's awesome! Try it, you'll love it!), I will say that this phone is super duper amounts of fun so I'm keeping it. I even went so far as to connect my email through it. Is that how an advanced person would word that? I don't even know! I don't have to! I'm advanced bitches! I also connected it to my FB but that was more of an "oh, what's this, yeah I'll totally do that, whoa facebook cool" moment. Oh yeah, also, it's white. And we all know how I feel about that.
Anyway, it might pain me to lose my incredibly awesome irresponsible uncaring silence, but I really like what this little machine is offering me. Technology is so rad I can hardly stand it.
P.S. Not sure why I am such a huge fan of the equals symbol tonight but I am working that shit in like no tomorrow. I'd try to explain it but I don't think anyone but the advanced users would get it.
Yeah yeah, ha ha, super funny, go you. Oh wait. I never mentioned the washed phone here, did I? Huh. It made me wild because I don't normally do things like that with my electronics and attempt to take decent care of them. I just don't lose or break that stuff and haven't in an while. Well. Er. Heh. Oh, what can I say? It was a good run while it lasted.
It went something like this: I was getting my laundry together when I decided I also wanted to wash the sweatshirt that was currently on my body. I emptied the pockets (which included my phone) onto the dining room table. I then heard my message tone and since I had been in the middle of a text session with someone and have the focus of a ferret, I picked the phone back up before I took off the sweatshirt. You see where this is going right? Phone back in pocket, sweatshirt into washer, communication to the outside world gone like yesterday albeit a super squeaky clean phone. I tried the rice trick to no avail. I wanted to be all boo, I hate this missing phone thing and don't get me wrong, I was a little panicky when driving a distance from home at first but then... the silence. The no phone = no responsibility sweet silence. And I started taking it all in. I leave the house and shhhh... that's right... I'm an owl on the wings of the darkest night. And I got into it big time, until someone went all snark snark. And yes, try not to faint, I cared enough to do something about it. Commence phone shopping. Which is the entire point of this long drawn out totally unnecessary lead in.
At the phone store I put my busted ass phone on the counter and tell my unlucky victim of the day that I need a new one and I want the purple one. Yes, that was the only thing I cared about at that time, excuse me for being a light sensitive idiot and going ga ga over the color purple. The color, not the movie. That movie is just plain awful. So yeah, there I was all omg, I love the purple one btw so like can I have that one please mr salesman sir? He looked surprised and told me that's not the one I want. I then had him explain crackberries to me in every single minute detail. Mostly because it makes me laugh, a little because he's arguing with me out loud instead of keeping it in his head and a surd I'm not the phone expert, he is = that'll learn him. But didn't he come back with "you won't enjoy that phone, it's for beginners" and even though I guffawed at the absurdity of that statement, he bravely went on to explain that I am in the advanced user category of blackberry users. That's right, I'm advanced. As much as it's one of the funniest things I have heard in a while, and I now feel I have the right to mock the people who are so clearly beginners (whatever that means! It's awesome! Try it, you'll love it!), I will say that this phone is super duper amounts of fun so I'm keeping it. I even went so far as to connect my email through it. Is that how an advanced person would word that? I don't even know! I don't have to! I'm advanced bitches! I also connected it to my FB but that was more of an "oh, what's this, yeah I'll totally do that, whoa facebook cool" moment. Oh yeah, also, it's white. And we all know how I feel about that.
Anyway, it might pain me to lose my incredibly awesome irresponsible uncaring silence, but I really like what this little machine is offering me. Technology is so rad I can hardly stand it.
P.S. Not sure why I am such a huge fan of the equals symbol tonight but I am working that shit in like no tomorrow. I'd try to explain it but I don't think anyone but the advanced users would get it.
Don't let one little fall get you down.
Today was really exciting in the you won't really get it but that's cool because I really really get it and I hope you can just celebrate along with me sense. An amped up Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier came into work today and I seriously thought I was going to meet my Saturday surprise match. He came in scrambling about at the end of his leash like a maniac on methamphetamines while pissing all over the place. Not the scared type of pissing. No no, that would have been to easy. It was the totally intact male, totally insane with a dash of passive resistance that had the likely potential of turning into aggressive defensiveness if handled with anything but delight and laughter. As I live for that type, I stepped up to plate and kept my eye on the... er... ball. Hmm. Not exactly where I was trying to go with that...
His owners were awesome. Each one was saying something that was the exact opposite of what the other was saying except for the part where (and hold onto your hats, this is where it gets super duper exciting) they agreed that they wanted a traditional Wheaton head. Now I know this probably means little to nothing to you but (in my personal whacky and wild world of dog grooming) having the owner of a terrier say they want a traditional face makes me go all celebration mode in my head. Confetti. Cheering. Balloons. Parades. Thrown candy. The works. It makes getting out of bed that morning totally 100% worth it. The rest of the information was kind of a mess but I am the master of breaking grooming instruction code. I know precisely what things like short but not to short, very short but not shaved, don't cut the hair but give a light trim and circle square head mean. Now the husband kept saying they like the coat long and full while the wife proclaimed she wanted a style she could easily maintain because brushing the dog was rather difficult. These things do not coincide no matter how many times you say them together or how many times you smile while saying them. Now I know mister man is at work all day while little miss is at home in a WWF brushing match so I went with the traditional Wheaton cut only very tight and short because I know the man is trying to say he likes the look of the Wheaton while she is trying to say please don't make me attempt to keep this dog brushed out even though I also enjoy the look he is supposed to wear. Pair that with a bad ass looking dog and a vision of me clutching my scissors/clippers and I positively swoon.
I got a before picture of his head and body. Since the dog was such a strung out ADD nutcase (I'm not judging here, I can totally relate) I only got an after picture of his head. He just wanted off the table and I couldn't blame him one bit so I totally flaked out on the entirely finished product. But here's the shots I got of his head. And let me tell you folks, that is a fantastic Wheaton head. See the hair that stays long in the middle of his forehead? That's called a fall. Most Wheaton people want that gone so the dog has a more teddy bear like expression. Both are cute, but the fall... oh the fall... is what does it for me. But then judging from my past, we already knew that, didn't we? ;)
Here he is in all his untouched glory. There is no full body after picture but I assure you, it looks so pissa.
Before magical scissor land
In magical scissor land
After magical scissor land
His owners were awesome. Each one was saying something that was the exact opposite of what the other was saying except for the part where (and hold onto your hats, this is where it gets super duper exciting) they agreed that they wanted a traditional Wheaton head. Now I know this probably means little to nothing to you but (in my personal whacky and wild world of dog grooming) having the owner of a terrier say they want a traditional face makes me go all celebration mode in my head. Confetti. Cheering. Balloons. Parades. Thrown candy. The works. It makes getting out of bed that morning totally 100% worth it. The rest of the information was kind of a mess but I am the master of breaking grooming instruction code. I know precisely what things like short but not to short, very short but not shaved, don't cut the hair but give a light trim and circle square head mean. Now the husband kept saying they like the coat long and full while the wife proclaimed she wanted a style she could easily maintain because brushing the dog was rather difficult. These things do not coincide no matter how many times you say them together or how many times you smile while saying them. Now I know mister man is at work all day while little miss is at home in a WWF brushing match so I went with the traditional Wheaton cut only very tight and short because I know the man is trying to say he likes the look of the Wheaton while she is trying to say please don't make me attempt to keep this dog brushed out even though I also enjoy the look he is supposed to wear. Pair that with a bad ass looking dog and a vision of me clutching my scissors/clippers and I positively swoon.
I got a before picture of his head and body. Since the dog was such a strung out ADD nutcase (I'm not judging here, I can totally relate) I only got an after picture of his head. He just wanted off the table and I couldn't blame him one bit so I totally flaked out on the entirely finished product. But here's the shots I got of his head. And let me tell you folks, that is a fantastic Wheaton head. See the hair that stays long in the middle of his forehead? That's called a fall. Most Wheaton people want that gone so the dog has a more teddy bear like expression. Both are cute, but the fall... oh the fall... is what does it for me. But then judging from my past, we already knew that, didn't we? ;)
Monday, December 6, 2010
No, seriously, where is the rewind button on this thing?
Can we back the story up a bit? Remember the Rottweiler named Raina? I would totally make that a link but I think we are talking about 3 or 4 entries back here. No seriously, Just scroll down or something.
The Raina session took off with a bang, hit that climatic scream, then trickled down an enormous amount until everyone was an emotional puddle who didn't think they could take any more and it ended up with her here for two nights only. The owner of Raina took her back because it was pretty clear she didn't belong here and didn't like the shit show it was turned into. I couldn't have agreed more as I had already cried my eyes out in a hysterical manner while screaming something about I am sick of doing this, I don't care what happens. Doing any more of that clearly wasn't an option for me personally anyway. I think I was the only one laughing hysterically at the indian giving point (as my mania was in full swing), but it had gone way past the point of ridiculous and I wanted off that ride immediately.
It was then that I was reminded for about the 100th time and remembered quite clearly... I don't do this type of thing. I am like little miss not heavy up in here. The last time someone lost it over something, I quite literally stopped them in the middle of their freakout fest and offered them a chip. Those chips were seriously to die for and as much as I knew it was not what I should do per se, it was getting super dark and ominous and I just couldn't hang you know? They were caught off guard but took the proffered chip and then we both laughed because, damn, those chips were good and what an asshole thing to do to someone. ha ha ha. But this is my thing man. This is how I roll and it's really what makes me me. I just don't do heavy shit. I try as hard as I can to avoid my own heavy shit and when I can't, I mostly run from it or handle it in a super hyped up abnormally anxious manner. I am the girl who laughs her way through life as much as possible. I have been doing an exceptional job of it so far with the occasional super sad moment and I am easy to cry lately but those are expected, no? So why would I suddenly break character over a dogs life? I am the crazy dog lady, but even with that backing me I couldn't answer why that would break me and decided to cut that shit out and go back to being the chick who says things like "Hey, want to check out MegaMind 3D soon?" or "Want a chip?" when broached with heavy subject matter. And honestly, if I try to be any other way, I don't know the next step anyway and end up becoming a basket case. I don't need any honing in that area. Promise.
The moral of this story is don't hand your homeless dog off to people who don't know how to communicate. It will fail for your dog and ultimately you. So just keep your dog and take care of it. It's all your fault anyway. Handle that shit.
The Raina session took off with a bang, hit that climatic scream, then trickled down an enormous amount until everyone was an emotional puddle who didn't think they could take any more and it ended up with her here for two nights only. The owner of Raina took her back because it was pretty clear she didn't belong here and didn't like the shit show it was turned into. I couldn't have agreed more as I had already cried my eyes out in a hysterical manner while screaming something about I am sick of doing this, I don't care what happens. Doing any more of that clearly wasn't an option for me personally anyway. I think I was the only one laughing hysterically at the indian giving point (as my mania was in full swing), but it had gone way past the point of ridiculous and I wanted off that ride immediately.
It was then that I was reminded for about the 100th time and remembered quite clearly... I don't do this type of thing. I am like little miss not heavy up in here. The last time someone lost it over something, I quite literally stopped them in the middle of their freakout fest and offered them a chip. Those chips were seriously to die for and as much as I knew it was not what I should do per se, it was getting super dark and ominous and I just couldn't hang you know? They were caught off guard but took the proffered chip and then we both laughed because, damn, those chips were good and what an asshole thing to do to someone. ha ha ha. But this is my thing man. This is how I roll and it's really what makes me me. I just don't do heavy shit. I try as hard as I can to avoid my own heavy shit and when I can't, I mostly run from it or handle it in a super hyped up abnormally anxious manner. I am the girl who laughs her way through life as much as possible. I have been doing an exceptional job of it so far with the occasional super sad moment and I am easy to cry lately but those are expected, no? So why would I suddenly break character over a dogs life? I am the crazy dog lady, but even with that backing me I couldn't answer why that would break me and decided to cut that shit out and go back to being the chick who says things like "Hey, want to check out MegaMind 3D soon?" or "Want a chip?" when broached with heavy subject matter. And honestly, if I try to be any other way, I don't know the next step anyway and end up becoming a basket case. I don't need any honing in that area. Promise.
The moral of this story is don't hand your homeless dog off to people who don't know how to communicate. It will fail for your dog and ultimately you. So just keep your dog and take care of it. It's all your fault anyway. Handle that shit.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You are officially UNfriended! Um, hello? I defriended you! Hello??
It happened. I was unfriended by someone on FB. It was bound to come about sooner or later but I never thought it would be the person who did it. I always thought my cousin whom I constantly shred into little tiny pieces would be first. Don't get all defensive for the little prick. He goes all ebonics and I don't know what else to do than be my own snark snark self towards it. I mean come on. Ever seen a rocket scientist with that shit coming out of their mouth? No. Know why? Because it's stupid, and stupid people get stupid people jobs, and that list does not include anything in regards to rocket ships or the science thereof. Well maybe if it's mopping the floor in the offices of the people who come up with the equations that have to do with rocket science. Maybe then. There. Happy? I know, I know, I'm being judgmental and trite. Again.
Reigning it in here...
So I went to dinner with the MF the other evening and I am informed I had been defriended by someone on facebook. Am I supposed to notice this stuff? Does anyone really notice this stuff? Well I didn't, and sadly someone else had to bring it to my attention like 3 months later and put me on the course to putting this kind of crap into my brain for consideration. So of course I attempt to brush it off but then I get all freaked out because judging by them, it's something you kind of freak out about. I ask what it means and I find out it usually means you have done something wrong. Oh yay. Yet one more thing to tell me about my unabated wrongness. I can't think of anything I have done wrong per se andmy innately curious nature takes over being the incredibly caring person I always am, I contact said defriender and say I see they defriended me and now know I should ask what I did wrong. I get the "what the hell, that was like 3 months ago why are you just now noticing and btw, you made odd comments and they annoyed me a little" message back. I reply that I'm sorry, I just don't take this facebook thing as seriously as most other people and I'm here now and omg isn't that what I fucking do have we met? and I figured if people were annoyed they would call me or tell me the next time they saw me or something, anything that signaled towards their distress with me as a person and the relationship that was straining because of it. Then I said I agreed I should remain the unfriendee as I don't want anyone anything but comfortable and happy which I am now told is like saying fuck you die which in turn surprises me less than I thought it should and that's pretty neat.
Is this shit for real? That's all I could think while taking part. Like someone else had taken over my body and was going through the motions of handling my soured internet relationship. This is surreal x infinity and as much as I can't believe I am thinking about it, I just can't stop thinking about it. It's mindfuckerific. It's a virtual relationship gone wrong because someone acted just like they always do in the real world and nothing was done about it except for what is really the exact opposite of good relationship skills because that's how shit is taken care of in virtual world.
I think the next time I see her, which should be in a couple days and this is why I am all huh? I have seen her since then and there was not one mention of anything and everyone acted just like they always do and I am so confused, seriously. So yeah, the next time I see her I am going to tell her that I would like to only have a virtual relationship with her because the real relationship is just way to confusing. I'm thinking a nice virtual meeting at the local virtual coffee shop where we can tell each other virtually nothing of importance and just pretend we are not virtually nonexistent friends but say we are just because. And we'll giggle. But not really. Wait. Shit. Is that going to seem like an odd comment? Am I mixing worlds? If I do will the virtual police come and give me a virtual citation for breaking the virtual code of ethics? If this happens do I run the risk of actual defriending? Omfg, please make it stop. Please. Uncle.
Reigning it in here...
So I went to dinner with the MF the other evening and I am informed I had been defriended by someone on facebook. Am I supposed to notice this stuff? Does anyone really notice this stuff? Well I didn't, and sadly someone else had to bring it to my attention like 3 months later and put me on the course to putting this kind of crap into my brain for consideration. So of course I attempt to brush it off but then I get all freaked out because judging by them, it's something you kind of freak out about. I ask what it means and I find out it usually means you have done something wrong. Oh yay. Yet one more thing to tell me about my unabated wrongness. I can't think of anything I have done wrong per se and
Is this shit for real? That's all I could think while taking part. Like someone else had taken over my body and was going through the motions of handling my soured internet relationship. This is surreal x infinity and as much as I can't believe I am thinking about it, I just can't stop thinking about it. It's mindfuckerific. It's a virtual relationship gone wrong because someone acted just like they always do in the real world and nothing was done about it except for what is really the exact opposite of good relationship skills because that's how shit is taken care of in virtual world.
I think the next time I see her, which should be in a couple days and this is why I am all huh? I have seen her since then and there was not one mention of anything and everyone acted just like they always do and I am so confused, seriously. So yeah, the next time I see her I am going to tell her that I would like to only have a virtual relationship with her because the real relationship is just way to confusing. I'm thinking a nice virtual meeting at the local virtual coffee shop where we can tell each other virtually nothing of importance and just pretend we are not virtually nonexistent friends but say we are just because. And we'll giggle. But not really. Wait. Shit. Is that going to seem like an odd comment? Am I mixing worlds? If I do will the virtual police come and give me a virtual citation for breaking the virtual code of ethics? If this happens do I run the risk of actual defriending? Omfg, please make it stop. Please. Uncle.
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