You are officially UNfriended! Um, hello? I defriended you! Hello??

It happened. I was unfriended by someone on FB. It was bound to come about sooner or later but I never thought it would be the person who did it. I always thought my cousin whom I constantly shred into little tiny pieces would be first. Don't get all defensive for the little prick. He goes all ebonics and I don't know what else to do than be my own snark snark self towards it. I mean come on. Ever seen a rocket scientist with that shit coming out of their mouth? No. Know why? Because it's stupid, and stupid people get stupid people jobs, and that list does not include anything in regards to rocket ships or the science thereof. Well maybe if it's mopping the floor in the offices of the people who come up with the equations that have to do with rocket science. Maybe then. There. Happy? I know, I know, I'm being judgmental and trite. Again.

Reigning it in here...

So I went to dinner with the MF the other evening and I am informed I had been defriended by someone on facebook. Am I supposed to notice this stuff? Does anyone really notice this stuff? Well I didn't, and sadly someone else had to bring it to my attention like 3 months later and put me on the course to putting this kind of crap into my brain for consideration. So of course I attempt to brush it off but then I get all freaked out because judging by them, it's something you kind of freak out about. I ask what it means and I find out it usually means you have done something wrong. Oh yay. Yet one more thing to tell me about my unabated wrongness. I can't think of anything I have done wrong per se and my innately curious nature takes over being the incredibly caring person I always am, I contact said defriender and say I see they defriended me and now know I should ask what I did wrong. I get the "what the hell, that was like 3 months ago why are you just now noticing and btw, you made odd comments and they annoyed me a little" message back. I reply that I'm sorry, I just don't take this facebook thing as seriously as most other people and I'm here now and omg isn't that what I fucking do have we met? and I figured if people were annoyed they would call me or tell me the next time they saw me or something, anything that signaled towards their distress with me as a person and the relationship that was straining because of it. Then I said I agreed I should remain the unfriendee as I don't want anyone anything but comfortable and happy which I am now told is like saying fuck you die which in turn surprises me less than I thought it should and that's pretty neat.

Is this shit for real? That's all I could think while taking part. Like someone else had taken over my body and was going through the motions of handling my soured internet relationship. This is surreal x infinity and as much as I can't believe I am thinking about it, I just can't stop thinking about it. It's mindfuckerific. It's a virtual relationship gone wrong because someone acted just like they always do in the real world and nothing was done about it except for what is really the exact opposite of good relationship skills because that's how shit is taken care of in virtual world.

I think the next time I see her, which should be in a couple days and this is why I am all huh? I have seen her since then and there was not one mention of anything and everyone acted just like they always do and I am so confused, seriously. So yeah, the next time I see her I am going to tell her that I would like to only have a virtual relationship with her because the real relationship is just way to confusing. I'm thinking a nice virtual meeting at the local virtual coffee shop where we can tell each other virtually nothing of importance and just pretend we are not virtually nonexistent friends but say we are just because. And we'll giggle. But not really. Wait. Shit. Is that going to seem like an odd comment? Am I mixing worlds? If I do will the virtual police come and give me a virtual citation for breaking the virtual code of ethics? If this happens do I run the risk of actual defriending? Omfg, please make it stop. Please. Uncle.