Just thought of another one! Most people love to see me walking all the dogs and make silly comments about it that are never original, but are always nice. Then there are the folks that know how to do it better. More often than not they are accompanied by a snarling canine who they cannot get under control. So I always take their advice with a boulder of salt. I was walking my group of ten yesterday when we passed a woman who was talking from her truck to some people on their porch. The woman on the porch points to us and makes mention of so many dogs walking so nicely while getting along so well. This causes the woman in the truck to roll her passenger side window down and behind it happens to be a dog who begins snarling and barking at us. While her dog is acting a damn fool she hails me so she can give me advice.
WIT: There's a dog park right down the street you know.
Me: Yeah! I've heard of it!
WIT: It's a really nice one!
Me: I'll be sure to check it out some time.
WIT: Just go check it out now and let all those dogs go!
Me: Uh, no, that's not really how this works, some of these dogs can't handle that setting and there are rules against more than three dogs per person. I'll be sure to check it out though. Thanks!
WIT: You'll be fine! No one is going to bother you.
Me: Um... Yeah... I'm not doing that.
WIT: (getting agitated) They all get along fine! Look at them! They'll do great!
Me: Um. No. They won't.
WIT: I just don't see why you would walk them all like that when you have a perfectly good dog park right up the street.
Me: I'm okay with it. Some of these dogs can not handle it anyway.
WIT: It makes sense to take them there! It's for dogs! I just think you're stupid to walk all those dogs like that!
Me: Yeah. Okay then... Have a great day!
Most people aren't as shitty as her, but everyone has a little piece of info that they truly believe is priceless and original. For the most part, I pretend they are all brilliant, smile big and thank them up and down. Why burst their bubble?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Your dad loves anger more than he loves you
I had to return a lunch cooler to T on Friday night so we decided to have dinner in Davis Square as well. I ended up parking my vehicle on the street, in a spot that ended at the entrance of a small parking lot. It was Friday night so as the night progressed, parking became rather limited. We had our dinner at Flatbread, the new place at the bowling alley. The reviews were right, not so bad at all. The sound of people bowling in the background added to it nicely. Once we were finished we made our way over to get the bag, but ended up chatting next to the vehicle with the back door open.
Apparently there is nothing more maddening than searching for parking on the same block over and over again and continuing to see two people yammering next to a car that is taking up a spot you are convinced should be yours. I say this because there was this one guy, with his young boy who was maybe about 7 - 8 years old falling asleep in the passenger seat, who continued to go around the block in his fancy mercedes to pull up behind us and grill us for a minute before continuing his search. It happened so much that after a bit I felt ignoring him wasn't getting us anywhere, and was inclined to give him this apologetic shoulder shrugging gesture that indicated his parking issues were not my parking issues and no, we were not going anywhere anytime soon. Move along dude, seriously. Welcome to the city.
About the fourth time around he decided he had had enough with the girls who were so obviously in his perfect parking spot and ended up entering the lot from the other direction to hurriedly place his car with his lights shining on us, at the end of the lot where technically there was no room. He then aggressively threw the mercedes into "park" got out and stormed into the bowling alley while giving us the big I hate you exhale and death stare as he went by. We made yet another elitist douche-bag comment and continued talking.
It suddenly occurred to me that the car was doing something. It then occurred to me that the car should not be doing anything and T says "Hey. Is that car moving?". It was moving. Backwards. In his state of rage, the guy must have thought he put it in park when really he had only placed it in reverse. Remember the young boy? Yup, he was still in the car. He was looking franticly at the shifter like he should do something, but considering his age he had no idea what the correct option was. I ran to the car, opened the door, jumped in, smiled big and said "HI!" while braking. Now the kid is even more frantic because let's face it, not only was he dealing with the moving car, but now there is a stranger next to him. Once he realized the car had stopped he chilled out a bit. I put the car back where it was, really put it in park and turned to him to confirm that I bet that had been super scary and inquire to his mental state. He said he was alright so I told him the car would stay still now and that he need not worry anymore and went back to T to continue our conversation. I can't imagine how that kid was feeling. First being stuck in the car with an angry adult. Because being trapped in a car with anger is always such a joy. Then having the whole car moving thing go down. I bet he was exhausted. I need a nap just thinking about it.
Out comes dad. He's still pissed off about the parking spot (seriously, let it go man) and made sure to glare at us all the way back to his car. He's just about to drive away when the car comes to a stop. The boy must have said something because the door opens and dad slowly and sheepishly gets out to hail us and of course we turn because he simply reeks of retribution. He thanks us (twice!) and for once, I couldn't even laugh, it was just to sweet. I told him, hey, it's fine. No big deal man. Everything is just fine now. I was supposed to go out after that but figured I would end the day on a high note. It was the perfect ending to the perfect evening.
Totally off subject... Is it me or does Pink have an oversized head for her body?
Apparently there is nothing more maddening than searching for parking on the same block over and over again and continuing to see two people yammering next to a car that is taking up a spot you are convinced should be yours. I say this because there was this one guy, with his young boy who was maybe about 7 - 8 years old falling asleep in the passenger seat, who continued to go around the block in his fancy mercedes to pull up behind us and grill us for a minute before continuing his search. It happened so much that after a bit I felt ignoring him wasn't getting us anywhere, and was inclined to give him this apologetic shoulder shrugging gesture that indicated his parking issues were not my parking issues and no, we were not going anywhere anytime soon. Move along dude, seriously. Welcome to the city.
About the fourth time around he decided he had had enough with the girls who were so obviously in his perfect parking spot and ended up entering the lot from the other direction to hurriedly place his car with his lights shining on us, at the end of the lot where technically there was no room. He then aggressively threw the mercedes into "park" got out and stormed into the bowling alley while giving us the big I hate you exhale and death stare as he went by. We made yet another elitist douche-bag comment and continued talking.
It suddenly occurred to me that the car was doing something. It then occurred to me that the car should not be doing anything and T says "Hey. Is that car moving?". It was moving. Backwards. In his state of rage, the guy must have thought he put it in park when really he had only placed it in reverse. Remember the young boy? Yup, he was still in the car. He was looking franticly at the shifter like he should do something, but considering his age he had no idea what the correct option was. I ran to the car, opened the door, jumped in, smiled big and said "HI!" while braking. Now the kid is even more frantic because let's face it, not only was he dealing with the moving car, but now there is a stranger next to him. Once he realized the car had stopped he chilled out a bit. I put the car back where it was, really put it in park and turned to him to confirm that I bet that had been super scary and inquire to his mental state. He said he was alright so I told him the car would stay still now and that he need not worry anymore and went back to T to continue our conversation. I can't imagine how that kid was feeling. First being stuck in the car with an angry adult. Because being trapped in a car with anger is always such a joy. Then having the whole car moving thing go down. I bet he was exhausted. I need a nap just thinking about it.
Out comes dad. He's still pissed off about the parking spot (seriously, let it go man) and made sure to glare at us all the way back to his car. He's just about to drive away when the car comes to a stop. The boy must have said something because the door opens and dad slowly and sheepishly gets out to hail us and of course we turn because he simply reeks of retribution. He thanks us (twice!) and for once, I couldn't even laugh, it was just to sweet. I told him, hey, it's fine. No big deal man. Everything is just fine now. I was supposed to go out after that but figured I would end the day on a high note. It was the perfect ending to the perfect evening.
Totally off subject... Is it me or does Pink have an oversized head for her body?
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
*BITCH FEST ALERT* I am a dog walker and this is why I hate you
I know, I know, it looks so easy. And honestly, it is... until you start adding more than four dogs. One to four? If you can walk upright and attach a leash to a collar, you've pretty much got it nailed. Four or more can get a little tricky. I personally keep my large dog total no higher than 10. I can walk as many little dogs as you want at a time. My current largest group is around 8 - 9 and that's a mix so we do pretty great... until we meet certain situations that throw us off and can honestly make me a little wild inside the brain package.
Untrimmed bushes. A hearty fuck you to all the people who let their bushes become so overgrown that they are blocking the sidewalk. A fuck you die to the people who let their thorn bushes grow out onto the sidewalk. Seriously, get out the trimmers and handle that shit. If you don't want to deal with it, hire someone else who does or move out to the country where no one cares about your overgrown weeds.
Cars parked at the very end of the driveway, blocking the sidewalk, forcing me onto the edge of a very busy road. Again, I need the sidewalk pretty badly. I have patience with the people who are parking 19 cars in a 3 car driveway. I get it. But when you are just to lazy to pull up a little because if you do you are not exiting your car to walk right into your front door, I can't stand you. This is not a pick a different route scenario because you never know when someone might do it. Makes me want to hear the glorious sound of smashed windshield.
Speaking of cars... Suddenly revving your engine next to a large group of dogs means frightened animals and a walker who now not only has to calm everyone but has to brace for the impact of some of those dogs slamming off the end of the leash when they bolt. Oh yeah, and it scares the hell out of me as well.
Something else I have noticed is how many people when passing by (usually moving in the opposite direction) will abruptly decide they want to interact with the dogs. Now I know how much I wouldn't like it if someone I didn't know got all spastic and started touching me out in public. Dogs are no different. The person will be half way past us when they will out of nowhere lean over the group and shoot their hand out towards the nearest dogs head. That particular dog more often than not will spook, causing the group to scatter and very often, I end up either tripping over a dog, kicking a dog or at the very least stepping on the foot of one who is running in front of me to get away. What the hell people? Why does that seem like a good idea? Just because dogs enjoy being petted does not mean they accept every stranger who swoops in without warning.
There are the people who see us coming, look pissy and just stay the course in the middle of the sidewalk. I'm not talking about me and the dogs owning the sidewalk while expecting everyone to walk around. I expect my dogs to be polite and whenever possible, I cross the street so we're not in the way. I'm talking about normal, everyday walking. I'm on the right, they are approaching on my left. Normal. Everyday. Until that moment where the person just stays in the middle, glares at us and decides to play a game of chicken. Bad news for them is I love chicken and I have about 5 to 6 dogs with me. Who's going to win that war? Seriously.
Ah yes, the meet and greet. Because there is nothing I would rather do than let my six dogs meet your one just to see how it goes. I especially love this when I am walking one or two large dog aggressive dogs and the person doesn't believe me when I say they won't get along with their dog and just keeps coming.
Then there is the distance meet and greet. The people who stand a distance away and call the dogs or make noises (clicking, clapping, whistling, etc.) to attract the attention of the dogs. Wow. How helpful.
And lastly we have the meet and greet involving small children which shocks me the most. People literally telling their kids to "go say hi to the doggies!". Now luckily most of the dogs involved have lived or do live with children, but there are a few that I have no idea how they would handle a small child and not only that, show discomfort when they approach.
These are just a few of every day occurrences. I try to be patient because I know most people see me coming and simply don't grasp what I am doing. But gee wiz people, come on.
Untrimmed bushes. A hearty fuck you to all the people who let their bushes become so overgrown that they are blocking the sidewalk. A fuck you die to the people who let their thorn bushes grow out onto the sidewalk. Seriously, get out the trimmers and handle that shit. If you don't want to deal with it, hire someone else who does or move out to the country where no one cares about your overgrown weeds.
Cars parked at the very end of the driveway, blocking the sidewalk, forcing me onto the edge of a very busy road. Again, I need the sidewalk pretty badly. I have patience with the people who are parking 19 cars in a 3 car driveway. I get it. But when you are just to lazy to pull up a little because if you do you are not exiting your car to walk right into your front door, I can't stand you. This is not a pick a different route scenario because you never know when someone might do it. Makes me want to hear the glorious sound of smashed windshield.
Speaking of cars... Suddenly revving your engine next to a large group of dogs means frightened animals and a walker who now not only has to calm everyone but has to brace for the impact of some of those dogs slamming off the end of the leash when they bolt. Oh yeah, and it scares the hell out of me as well.
Something else I have noticed is how many people when passing by (usually moving in the opposite direction) will abruptly decide they want to interact with the dogs. Now I know how much I wouldn't like it if someone I didn't know got all spastic and started touching me out in public. Dogs are no different. The person will be half way past us when they will out of nowhere lean over the group and shoot their hand out towards the nearest dogs head. That particular dog more often than not will spook, causing the group to scatter and very often, I end up either tripping over a dog, kicking a dog or at the very least stepping on the foot of one who is running in front of me to get away. What the hell people? Why does that seem like a good idea? Just because dogs enjoy being petted does not mean they accept every stranger who swoops in without warning.
There are the people who see us coming, look pissy and just stay the course in the middle of the sidewalk. I'm not talking about me and the dogs owning the sidewalk while expecting everyone to walk around. I expect my dogs to be polite and whenever possible, I cross the street so we're not in the way. I'm talking about normal, everyday walking. I'm on the right, they are approaching on my left. Normal. Everyday. Until that moment where the person just stays in the middle, glares at us and decides to play a game of chicken. Bad news for them is I love chicken and I have about 5 to 6 dogs with me. Who's going to win that war? Seriously.
Ah yes, the meet and greet. Because there is nothing I would rather do than let my six dogs meet your one just to see how it goes. I especially love this when I am walking one or two large dog aggressive dogs and the person doesn't believe me when I say they won't get along with their dog and just keeps coming.
Then there is the distance meet and greet. The people who stand a distance away and call the dogs or make noises (clicking, clapping, whistling, etc.) to attract the attention of the dogs. Wow. How helpful.
And lastly we have the meet and greet involving small children which shocks me the most. People literally telling their kids to "go say hi to the doggies!". Now luckily most of the dogs involved have lived or do live with children, but there are a few that I have no idea how they would handle a small child and not only that, show discomfort when they approach.
These are just a few of every day occurrences. I try to be patient because I know most people see me coming and simply don't grasp what I am doing. But gee wiz people, come on.
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