Well, well, well... would you look at the time...

I have decided to go all gung ho and wait until it's flight time rather than go to bed late and run the risk of sleeping through my alarm. This is high risk territory with me so running the risk of falling asleep at the wheel is actually less risky when it comes right down to it. The good news is there is only about 1 - 1.5 hours to go and I am almost at the slap happy phase. I should be totally intolerable by the time I get to Logan. iPod? Check. Neck pillow thing? Check. It's heepy time once on that metal flying machine. Making the staff at Logan suffer to ease the pain of my insomniac ways seems a very decent trade.

Oh man, I can't wait to get home. My family was shocked to hear me confirm things like I miss him and the likes. And for once I am not referring to a dog. Figure that one out. I usually show up for holidays solo and enjoy every second without missing anyone. In fact, in past years I have told the male in my life not to stress about joining me. I was always the one stressed when they thought they were going to... ewww. T you're so not included in this mess. So this is all new to me as well as them, so I could share their shocked expressions. It was nice. A bonding moment if you will. And you will. The Mr. F thing is fucking insufferable. What the hell is going on with me? Why is my mind plagued with thoughts of this man. I, the JH, miss my SO? I pine for his attention? And I think the worst/best part is that I am so okay with this. I am soooo okay with missing him and wanting to see him again. It's like being okay with having an infected heart. I'm fine with the oozing and pain produced by his (loving?) bacteria.

Thanksgiving was just lovely. Half the family was here, the other half down the street at my aunts. We connected, we ate, we smiled... I do believe I enjoy the holidays even more when I fly in from a state far away. Everyone is super duper nice and they have to stay that way because I am leaving and could die with our last words being something snarky... and no one wants their last words and looks to be anything but pleasant. Death creates guilt. Besides, we're all great at pretending there is no problem anyway, mostly because there isn't a problem. See how I did that? I'm a pro. But seriously, it was a great time and I am psyched I came to the Bean to celebrate amongst the people I love the most.

I am needing a Jim fix something fierce. I am never doing this again. You know, leave both boys at home and travel far away while acting like I can handle it. Yeah, that. I realize Jim is fine and stable. It's clearly me that has the neurotic separation anxiety issues. Ends up, I'm the freak on a leash. I want to be embarrassed but I'm prone to forgiving myself immediately to avoid any self esteem issues. I'm so over it.

When I get back I am going to cuddle with my dog until he wants nothing to do with me, water my plants until they drown, swing on the swing until I am sick and then enjoy Mr. F until... whatever, you get the point. After that I might just start my Christmas wreath for the front door. I am considering using an ass load of eucalyptus so we can smell my crafty goodness every time we use the front door. I rule.

It's that time again

Usually I pack the pies I have made into the truck and head on down the highway in the southern direction. This year was a little different and consisted of northeast motion in the air. The pies have been completed. I am awash with relief. I just didn't think they would make in my suitcase.

I love this game by Hoops and Yoyo and it's a marvelous time waster. I'm a big fan all around.

Celebrating with family tomorrow while peeling and eating an entire carcass should be interesting. After the holidays I am going to try and play catch up with friends.

I miss my dog.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Gobble gobble.

That's what friends are for!!

These are two stories about friendship.

Once upon a time there was an incredibly beautiful girl. This IBG just happened to be BFF with what might just be the coolest dog to ever. Well, until he made an honest mistake and thought a gift the IBG bought for someone was a dog toy and shredded it. Then he was kind of on her shit list for a little while. But! This is about friendship isn't it? Sorry, I digress... Since the CDE ever wasn't very good at emailing with his little stiff, albeit cool, dog paws the IBG stayed on top of emailing. One day the IBG was choosing a collar and leash for the CDE as he likes to look his stylish best at all times. Let's face it, cool beings do those things, yes even dogs, so it's rather expected and you shouldn't be the slightest bit surprised. As the IBG was finding the best match for the CDE she thought he would like to do a little modeling (he does that on the side you know). She inquired to whether the maker and seller of said matching leash and collar would consider putting the CDE on the website were she to forward them a picture once the collar and leash were in place and picture perfect setting and position was accomplished.

THEY AGREED!!!! JIMMY IS GOING TO MODEL FOR THE SHAKA DOG HAWAII WEBISTE AND HE'LL BE "ON THE TOP" THEIR HOME PAGE!! BRING IT BITCHES!!!

The End


There is another little story and it runs parallel with the above story:

Once upon a time there was an incredibly beautiful girl who suddenly had this song rambling about in her head (all day, every day) just because she thought she was clever (she was soooo clever, this part is true) and decided to get the coolest dog ever more exposure on the web. Due to the nature of this IBG's brain and it's incessant need to overrun her with outlandish thoughts and silly little ditties, the search for exposure had the IBG rendered helpless by a popular song written by the one and only, Madonna. For those of you that know nothing of Madonna, I want to say this: Madonna is so not the point of this story. She has enough exposure, she doesn't need my help. Since you are reading my story, you can also google the hell out of Madonna. I also recommend you climb out from under that rock you have been under for freaking ever and join the rest of us. Wait, that's not true. I might just be jealous of you and wish to know how it's possible to have internet under a rock. Otherwise I would like to inquire as to whether you need a roommate? Oh man, what just happened there? Sorry then, back on track here... focus! The song was going on and on and on without respite. Wanting to release a little of this personal hell the IBG, being bloggerific and all, sent out her silent plea of help. Oh happy readers, let your eyes celebrate!! That same plea did not fall on deaf ears and wouldn't you know it? Her blog was regularly read by a blatantly obvious super hero!! Being as BOSH's essential qualities dictate savior like behavior, this BOSH could not turn away. Turning away isn't very BOSH like to begin with. Standing vigil and towing trucks are closer to their style. A plan was established!! A support system was vigorously searched for!! Needless to say, being as BOSH's are super and hero's, it wasn't long before everything was put into place and sent back to the IBG through the comment section of her blog. Now I don't know how many of you read the comment sections on other peoples blogs (though I can personally say it's totally worth every second of your time) but considering how helpful and appropriate this comment entry ended up being, the IBG decided to post it where everyone could enjoy it and you never know, maybe someone out there might need the same help she did. Not that she's a BOSH mind you, or even a poseur... she was more hoping there is someone else having the same problems she is and they will just finally admit it as they are not the only one either...



The End

Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache...

If you look at my links, you'll notice Shaka Dog Hawaii has been added. This is due to the fact that they make great collars and leashes. I am always on the look out for items that will help James look his best. I am also constantly searching for a way to boost his self esteem. After a little back and forth emailing with the Shaka Dog, I ended up sending Jim's picture along as they asked what kind of dog he is. This resulted in the keyword "adorable" being thrown around. I agreed fully. Ever the thinker I proposed me taking some excellent pictures of James in his new Shaka Dog collar and leash set (I'm going with the Mahina Blue/Brown for a collar with the Mahina Brown/Blue for a leash btw, and they're located on the "dots and swirls" page if you scroll down). Provided they love them (and they will), I asked if they would consider putting Jim on their web site. I'm still waiting for an answer. Jimmy is beside himself and he didn't sleep a wink last night because of all the excitement. Either that or it was because the neighbors started really partying at four this morning. Whatever the case, wish us luck. I am convinced that once I get this little project started the song "Vogue" by Madonna will stop relentlessly going through my head.

I might be a crazy dog lady but I like it this way, and I am so good at it that it seems more crazy to stop wouldn't you agree?

His latest photo shoot done at home:


And let's not forget the one that got him into a catalog:


Let's face it... he owns this!!!

Once again whining proves to work

So I had myself a little snit fit last week. Hard to believe I know. I am feeling very out of sorts lately. My expression sometimes turns to whining and sulking, which I am excellent at. :F <--------- That's going to be my F emoticon (thank you smitheroo!) from now on. It's going to represent the face I put on when I make a statement that makes me think, "oh F, that's so true and kind of disturbing...". Now that I am all settled in I think everything else is catching up to me. It all boiled down to what I am used to doing compared to what I am doing. I am doing all the who cares everyday things of course but I need to break that shit up a little with other more stimulating activities. That used to mean hiking. Me and the James would hike for hours some days. With the threat of scorpions, rattle snakes, coyotes and something called a "jumping cactus" hiking has become a thing of the past and we are bored to tears. Snit fit away. Well, lucky me and Jim, we just happen to live with a man that not only cares (gasp!) but also listens (double super huge I can't believe it gasp!). Friday evening consisted of buying a tent and when I got home from work on Saturday everything was packed up and ready for camping. YAY!! It was great. We camped up on the rim and even though the night was a little chilly, like sleep wearing my scarf chilly (AHHH!!! How cool is my completed scarf?? We'll get to that later...), it was a great time. The night was spent sitting by the fire drinking wine and just relaxing. Well, I had to remember that lost of people go camping all the time, and they ARE NOT routinely eaten by animals or attacked by killers roaming the woods. THEN it was relaxing. Speaking of fires... The smoke from CA is drifting over here making everything smell smoky and sweet. The day was full of driving about on super narrow, super high up dirt roads stopping when something looked interesting. It ruled. Of course we took some pictures. My batteries went dead after a couple shots but Mr. F's camera stayed the course and we got some nice ones. Enjoy, I know I did.

The hat and matching scarf is done. James was kind enough to model it for you as it's our day off and no one else was around. He was my first choice since he has modeled for catalogs before this. I don't know any other models so the decision wasn't a hard one. I'm stoked it's finished and I have begun Mr. F's. After having him look at the green colored yarns (and having him not like any) I opted to go with Harley Davidson orange, black and an off white with little flecks of black in it. Bad ass. Once it is done, there will be another photo shoot but this time Mr. F will be modeling his own goods. I think this is an opportune time to give another shout out to my Auntie and Uncle S!! They are the ones that presented me with my looms. So thanks guys, without you I wouldn't be half as knit-able.

Now that I am in the desert I am learning about hard water. Do you have hard water as well? If you can't answer that, hard water is a lot like an orgasm: if you're not sure that you have it, you probably don't. All my dishes that are left out to dry have little water spots left on them. This obviously means all my dishes have water spots on them. Ha ha. I am also not used to drying my vehicle completely after washing it myself. Talk about bizarre. I often wonder what it does to my body and sometimes want to drip dry after taking a shower just to see if I am covered with little white spots. That would probably lead to me walking about moaning and trying to froth at the mouth just to see if I could *for once* shake Mr. F's cool exterior. I don't know why taking people to their breaking point is so important to me but... well... it is. Okay, maybe not this time so much as the others because oh man! this next shelf is SO GREAT I can hardly stand it. You can have a sneak peek because let's face it, you're worth it. And I was kidding about the whole breaking point thing. Mostly because Mr. C reads this. Ha!!

Oh man, I am so going home for Thanksgiving. James will be staying here but joining me for Christmas. I want my first flight to be me freaking out about me... not me and Jim as well. Once this one is over with, the next will be easy cheesy. However, this flight is so obviously meant to be as I not only scored a ticket for a little over $200 but my confirmation number has JH right in the middle. Shut up!! Now I am not one for signs and all that but this was so obviously meant to be!!!

Since I am lazy today (read: lately, everyday, pick one), I am putting everything in the same slide show. The ease of this makes me happy and you still get what you need to picture what I am talking about. Thrilling really.

So many things happen between blogging...

I am so lazy today I can't stand myself. What better for blogging than a sprinkling of self loathing? It is my day off so I'm not going to be all that down on myself. Oh, and happy Hell Night to one and all. This weekend consisted of a costume party. Mr. F and I went as the whole "roaring 20's" theme. I kept thinking of costumes but my short hair just doesn't look right to me in most of them. Lucky for me flapper girls wore their hair short. Lucky for Mr. F, zoot suits are fing awesome. The thing we didn't consider is how unbelievably hot a zoot suit is when you are wearing it in AZ. Of course he still looked fab. A little uncomfortable, but great. I dutifully reminded him throughout the night that sometimes looking great uses comfort as a consequence and while you want to complain you have to just suck it up and smile your most lovely smile while mingling and pretending to enjoy yourself. I mean, that's what I do most every time I am with a group of people anyway. It never has to do with clothing though. Bummer. If I could do something as easy as remove my overcoat to alleviate the discomfort! Oh man!!

I opted to not carve any pumpkins. I was waiting due to the heat aspect. Rotten pumpkins are gross. We were informed that we won't get any trick or treaters but yet there are all ready smashed pumpkins everywhere. I'm not carving a pumpkin just so some jerk faced punk kid can smash it. No way. We are considering going to the movies tonight since we partied the night away last weekend and don't want to support pumpkin smashers. We have also been invited out to happy hour with Mr. F's mom and her BFF. I like that option best. Not so much due to happy hour but because I can wear my BAD ASS flapper girl costume again. The day I was supposed to get pumpkins turned out to be the day I threw my headachy why did I stay up so late will I never grow up back into finishing the planting in the backyard. It's looking splendid. Well... it's looking like a construction site that has little walls and flowering plants. We have the vision though so all we can see is the extended walk and the grass that isn't grass but you'd never ever know unless we told you. I'm sorry, have I told you about this yet? Maybe not. We were thinking grass but since we are in the desert grass really doesn't fare that well. We have seen the neighbors grass (or what they are calling grass) and it's pitiful. We don't want to be pitiful. We want to stay the coolest people on the planet. Maybe not as cool as Mr. Cool but pretty damn close. So we are getting that artificial grass that looks and feels real. I even took off my shoes and walked around on it and I'm not kidding, it's amazingly real feeling for some synthetic look alike. I guess we can also get a city rebate of some kind just for installing it (helping fellow desert people by conserving water and all that). It can get a little pricey but we only have a little section to do so we're not going to sweat it.

Side Note: We are geniuses. This area has "deep freezes" in the winter. Since we don't want our wonderful plants to die, ever, we have put them into buckets. Those buckets are then given little handles and placed into the larger buckets that are behind the wall and surrounded by rocks. That way, if there is a deep freeze, we simply pull the plants out of the buckets and bring them into the house for the night. WAH LAH BITCHES!

Hello? Is this that hot guy that makes super cool shelves? Oh good. I'm just calling to say hi because unlike other people, I don't have to request anything from you. You just keep building me unique little shelves that keep a smile on my face. They also give me excellent places to put my plants. That produces an even bigger smile. I don't know what my plants would do without you but it wouldn't be half as creative... and that's kind of sad... so thanks a lot maker of shelves. Anyone that keeps a smile on my face with artistic creativity is okay with me. Talk to you soon. Bye. Yeah, that's right, the imagination walls have been breached. After pillaging the women and raping the cows, a newer and better city has been designed and the building will not be stopped. There will be no walls this time. Onward and upward. I come home the other day to Mr. F building a new little shelf with the left over wood. It's something. There is another as well that isn't quite finished. That one is just as unusual and just as rad. This is the start of something truly awesome. The most awesome part of this project is the fact that I get to help choose the location of the finished product and then place things on it! This rules. RULES! Obviously the shelves will hold plants. I'm going to throw out little subtle hints that smaller shelves are needed for atrium so I can yet once again be infected by my orchid illness. THE ATRIUM!!! Oh man! So we went to this plant sale (THANK YOU CL!!!) held at some warehouse type place and got four huge plants for the atrium. Now normally this would have cost at least a couple hundred dollars. The Lady Palm alone is worth quite a bit. How much did we spend? That's right... 35 bucks. We now have beautiful plants in what before was a hollow little place with rocks and dirt for a floor. Right in the middle of the house. What was once vacant and needy is now lush and beautiful! I do believe little shelves are still needed for some orchids though. I might be horrid with orchids and they might die no matter what I do but I have the sickness and I am convinced this can change with a little practice and a super good attitude. I'm not backing down on this one...

So November 1 is Jim's birthday. He's eight (or 56 for all you that's blah in human years types). It's funny because the older he gets, the more I like him. How much does that suck. I often think dogs should be born old and decrepit but our absolute favorite thing on the planet and then die when they are young and cute but pissing all over the carpet and chewing everything they can get their nasty little mouths on. It doesn't work that way though so the James is getting into his oh so distinguished years. I thought this photo appropriate since with age his hunting skills are honed like nothing I have ever seen. And don't you worry, the beetle got it in the end. Happy Birthday to the best dog ever. From looks to behavior, the James has it all.



Oh hey, the biker run. Yeah, we're not going. Ever. We mentioned it to Mr. C and I guess he doesn't go to them because runs attract amateur riders and amateur riders attract accidents. Thank you anyway. I am still knitting but we are going to ride with people that know what they are doing. I am way to high-strung and nervous to go riding about with a bunch of people that could possibly kill me. Over & Out.