Do you do haiku?

inevitable
feelings of admiration
JH number one

Breathing is nice.

It might be due to my sudden congestion and lack of good health, nonetheless, I want one of these.

Priorities?

People in Haiti are worried about starving to death. In the meantime they're holding themselves over with dirt cookies.

Burmese people are worried about the lack of aid, due to their own government, after the cyclone ripped their lives apart. While they wait for forced help from other governments the 25% worth of "have" civilians are helping the 75% have nots.

People in China are worried about the earthquake that killed... well, they haven't quite figured that out yet and you need all the dead people for an absolute number right? It's a lot though and still rising. In the meantime the people are sleeping outside and comforting themselves with thoughts that they made it even though their friends and families might not have.

People in America are worried about R. Kelly diddling little girls. In the meantime they are soothing themselves by screaming in the court room and taking days off from school and work in order to watch every moment he's on trial.

I think Mr. F summed it up nicely the night I asked him what luck allowed us to eat such a large amounts of chocolate cake. The answer? "We're American baby".

Just saying.

I'm a big fan of the French. Provided it's perfume, bread or doors.

We had a smash-a-lash kind of weekend. The up side? Our lousy arcadia sliders that constantly jammed and such (and that wouldn't open all the way due to the dog door) are now pretty french doors. The down side? Tons of glass everywhere, no more dog door. The upside? Living with a handyman who will be installing a permanent dog door in the wall. The down side? One hummingbird feeder along with the vacuum paying the price of an alcoholic rage. The upside? Having a creativity burst and making my own hummingbird feeders for a fraction of the price.

I have ordered Basic H. This stuff is WILD. Totally biodegradable earth friendly type of product. If you can use water for the job, you can use Basic H. I'm talking fly repellent, washing anything in your house or feeding your plants. If this shit is as good as it claims I am going to use it for everything. I'll tell you how it goes. One guy posted in a forum that he puts it in his horses water and it makes the flies stay off of them. Whoa. Pun not... never mind. I am going to make a mix and spray the backyard. There are tons of flies which is gross. I thought it was because of our yard and I was taken aback as I am fastidious. But upon further inspection (read: peering over my neighbors walls in hopes to find someone else to blame) I noticed our neighbors rarely clean up after their dogs. Double gross. I'm going to see if I can make my yard fly impenetrable so I don't have to become that nosey bitch neighbor bugging (Ha! Intended!) people to pick up their yards. I'm always up to being pushy, I'm just not sure how pleased Mr. F would be about all the neighbors suddenly hating us because I can't stop myself from scrutinizing other people's living habits. Even if it is intruding upon mine.


LL: Never ever drink tequila, get angry and notice needed home improvements.

The two plagues

I am preoccupied with many different thoughts. So many, in fact, that I refuse to list them as it would take a very long time and I am bound to forget a bunch. This would mean continually updating the list making it yet one more thing to yammer incessantly in my head, preying upon my poor fragile tormented mind. There are two things I am comfortably obsessed with.

1. Theorizing people.

2. The unconscious mind.

If you put them together, the possibilities are endless not to mention there isn't a second to be bored provided you are physically near someone. I do indeed theorize myself (and my unconscious mind) constantly. When you throw my insurmountable paranoid streak into the mix I can't help but wonder if I am subconsciously out to get me. Interestingly enough I work all day in a little room by myself. You can see where this could get hairy, no? Pun not intended.

Side Note: I just made a superliscious bowl of oatmeal containing all kinds of berries and honey. Why is there no milk? What is this world coming to???

I often wonder if people are observing me as much as I am them. I don't wonder what their take is on me. I do wish they would tell me when I am doing something I shouldn't. For some reason the JH is impervious to criticism. Ha.

I have a new wreath on the front door. Something a little more summer. I went to the dollar store and spent about $10 on a gazillion flowers. Suck it Michael's. I'll show you later. For now? Pool time.

LL: Enemies and weapons are everywhere. It's up to you to find and utilize them where you see fit.

I'm over it.

Apparently I let my day get to me and blogged about it. Healthy release? Our neighbors use their garbage disposal a ton. I hear it all the time. I'm kind of jealous because I LOVE putting things down the garbage disposal. And flushing things down the toilet. You'd be surprised how crazy people get when they find out what has literally gone down the toilet. You know the commercial of the guy trying to clog the toilet so the hot plumber can come by and fix it? That's me. Without the promise of a hot plumber and way more cheering. Although Mr. F has mandated I not flush things down our toilet. I have agreed but I push the disposal to the utmost limit whenever he's not looking. He made the mistake of telling me it's easier to fix the disposal than the toilet. And hopefully he doesn't read my blog or the gig is up.

Side Note: A handful of peaches, a teaspoon of vanilla, a tablespoon of sugar, half milk & half ice almost to the top. Blend. Mmmm. Summer goodness. *Protein powder optional.

Celebrate! Sophie, the three pound Yorkshire Terrier (she looks a lot like this with a better hair cut) and I have made so much progress. The groomer before me had the tiny girl convinced she should fight from bath to nails. How do you fight a three pound anything? We put on the gloves and went out back for some one on one. I kicked her ASS all over the parking lot. Bitch better recognize. Just kidding. We are at the point where all I have to do is point at her leg and she hands it to me. Back legs included. What a scream. Success feels fabulous.

I also have four other dogs who I have gotten past the point of savaging my hands. It was tough going and my hands didn't appreciate it very much but they were just very scared and asking me to stop scaring them so much so I took it in stride. These are the reasons I continue to groom. It's worth every second.

We took Jim and Tabitha for a walk the other night and came across my neighbors sister and some other chick all bent over in the street. It was dark and it looked like they had dropped something. Getting closer we saw a little dog in the road. I guess she had almost run it over with her car. She didn't know how to get him so after asking if it was wearing a collar with tags

Side Note: I have a new rule. Only help dogs wearing a collar and tags. There are so many stray dogs running about here that my house would be full of them if I helped every one. Lots of them don't have owners and I am not about to start a fucking rescue thank you very much.


which I was told it did. I called him over, picked him up and took him home. Scruffy was with us three nights and two days. He was a nice little fellow. Housebroken and quiet. Perfect. I cleaned him up and took care of him hoping his owners would call. His owners finally came and got him yesterday. They had been on vacation and were greeted with my five messages and the note on their door about their lost dog. :) Get this. The woman who was baby sitting him never even called them to let them know he was lost. Whoa. It gets better! She runs a small dog rescue from her home. HA! I can't get enough of that...


Scruffy

I have to cut fruit for a cookout we are attending. I'm pretty pumped since Tabitha's Great Dane mix friend Maverick lives there along with two other dogs, Cody (Chocolate Lab) and Mulligan (Cairn Terrier). She has been acting psychotic lately. Crazy face included. Maybe this will slow her down a little. If not, it's nothing a little Benedryl won't fix. I'm kidding. For the most part.

Lesson Learned: When something bites you it's better to act with empathy and try and find the cause rather than act aggressively back.