Heart center open, breathing with your nose, shoulders relaxed and down, it's okay to wobble, trees move in the wind...

I have never seen so many dash lights come on at the same time. VSC, TRACK OFF, CHECK ENGINE... good lord, now what? I think the VSC is because I pumped gas without turning my car off. Twice. This is new for me and I am not certain why I felt the need to suddenly make that habit. So. But the rest? I have no idea. I had the dude at AutoZone read me the codes and apparently the cylinders are misfiring. Cylinder 3 and 4 to be exact. Which explains the sudden dogging, the strange and uneven idling, not to mention the shit gas mileage. It does not explain the screaming noise that only happens when the car is warmed up and traveling at about 35 - 40. If my tire falls off, it was definitely a bearing. Otherwise, it's a belt. I'm going with the belt since they're constantly making crazy noises anyway. What's really interesting about the "belt noise" is that any time I have a fully functioning mechanic in the car it is totally silent. In fact, the car runs perfectly in that case. I have decided I am going to either marry a car mechanic or at the very least, sucker one into riding in my car all the time so as to avoid any other vehicular issues. Problem solved.

I went to a yoga class last night. My complete and utter lack of focus is paired with my sudden bouts of silent crying made it more of an adventure than I expected. The teacher is a woman I met years ago at a tattoo convention and she is the perfect example of a yoga teacher. Super positive, incredibly flexible and stock full of praise for a job well done without any type of judgement. "No one is on the same path. We are all fine exactly where we are. We feel our space and accept our space". This is precisely what I have been looking for. I think I would go nightly were it not for the part where she charges people. I might get out my yoga DVD and just do that shit like I used to. Practice makes perfect and whatnot.

Anyway, there I was in class with a bunch of other people. My brother was ignoring me because he hates when I am "a spectacle" which in his world essentially means when we are anywhere there are other people besides us. I kept laughing and made a very conscious effort to try and keep it under my breath but WOW am I out of shape and not flexible. I also kept confusing my left from my right and doing crazy ass things that made no sense. I ended up putting my mat next to this other chick who was some kind of super yogi so of course I starting keeping my eye on her to see if I was doing the right movements but she never once broke her pose or breathing pattern and balanced like she was the mf'ing equinox. So there I was falling all over the place, staring at her laughing, with my brother beside me wearing his judging face (which is so not yoga flavored I might add). And even though I really was trying, I was still all out of breath and feeling weird that me and the hundred year old lady matched for flexibility but more weirded out by the fact that I so wanted to reach out and push little miss perfect just enough that if she didn't tip over she would have to at the very least fix her position. So unyoga of me. At least I kept it on the inside. The crying was a little more difficult but luckily it always came at a point where my head was down or at the very end when we were relaxing and letting our "muscles fall off the bone" and I kept it under control.

Since I was having so much trouble stopping the hysterical woman inside me from screaming, sleep was becoming quite the commodity. In fact it was more like staring at the ceiling trying to persuade myself to go to sleep in this little sing songy mantra that did nothing but make me feel more crazy than when I just stayed up and got all slaphappy and psychotic. Enter pzizz sleep module. I turn it on and get all comfy and next thing you know, the crazy lady takes a breath and it's just long enough for me to attain my slumber goal. When I remember the tea with Valerian root I not only go out, I stay out. It's so fantastic. There is also the 20 minute refresher that for some reason only works for me when I don't have any disturbances. If the James so much as breathes loud, it doesn't work. But when I close myself into a room, put in the ear buds and go for it, it's like a landslide of revival. Two thumbs up, highly recommended and all that other stuff. Oh yeah and I'm not saying pirate the codes to avoid paying for it because that would be wrong and I am a good person who tries to do the right thing.