Bite who now? Here's a mohawk. Have a nice day!

Love is... being bit in the face by the boss's dog? Yesterday, a chick I work with decided it was a good idea to give Jim and the bosses dog cookies while they were staring each other in the face. Boss man's dog went for Jim's cookie crumbs and Jim defended them. Which earned him some nasty bite marks on his face. Which earned BM some nasty bite marks of his own. Needless to say, I am bullshit. If this were the first time this had happened, I would be somewhat forgiving. This is the THIRD FUCKING TIME Jim and this dog have gotten into it. The first was an honest mistake involving some dropped food. Who knew the 35# Scottie mix would take on the James? The second time the little bastard actually came looking for a fight. On a very busy day, while no one was paying attention, he pranced up to Jim, dropped his bully stick on the floor and waited for Jim to pay it some mind. Again, who would have seen this coming? This time however... WE ALL FUCKING KNEW! Instead of picking up the easily controlled small dog who is topped off with blood lust, this chick grabs Jim's back legs and hauls him backwards away from the little savage who of course followed and continued to chew on Jim's face. Jim is on antibiotics and has a bunch of bite wounds on his face. This brouhaha happened directly after I realized my super long day from hell was finally over and I started relaxing and cleaning up. So that's cool.

Today I groomed the boss's dog. *toothy grin* Now, before you get the wrong idea, let me explain. The last time I groomed this guy, I realized he could pull off a mohawk like no one's business. (It's my JOB to notice this kind of thing!) He is shaved nose to toes and has a long thin snout. By the time I realized he'd look great, it was to late, I had shaved his head. I vowed then and there to make it a mohawk next session. So you see, this bite fest came at a very inopportune time. I tried to explain to the doctor that only vindictive bitches run on spite and the mohawk has nothing but brilliant creativity behind it but you can see why he'd be skeptical, no? All right, I admit, him thinking it's payback makes me clap my hands and titter with glee. It also makes me incredibly thrilled that the entire office backed me (after my boss said he wanted it gone) by saying things like "I bet owners who teach their dogs manners don't have to deal with things like this", "I'm going home for lunch, I'll grab some pomade so it'll be spiky!" or "I pity the fool!"

Just in case that last one was a little confusing:



The mohawk stayed. All's well that ends well!!