And all the mackerels said, "Holy human!"

With how much I freak out over my dogs, it's no wonder I don't have any kids. (Funny, that just offered the mental image of me surrounded by baby goats.) That might sound like a joke, but it's far from it. It would pop out and I would immediately go over the deep end due to an overload of worried thoughts pertaining to what might possibly be someday in the future. Just thinking about thinking about those thoughts made my heart rate go up. Clammy palms are decidedly not hot.

Tabitha has a cough. You know that intense sharp wheezing a dog makes when it is dragging on the leash and it's collar is super tight against the throat, cutting off the windpipes? It sounds exactly like that. Without the deep throaty gag cough at the end. Just the quick intense raspy breaths. Like she's breathing out a little to hard. Only thing is, she rarely has anything around her neck and when she is wearing a collar/leash she never pulls hard. It happens more frequently in the morning, when she gets all worked up and excited and after a good hard play session. Sometimes it is followed by vomiting. Often times she immediately eats any food that comes up, so I'm not worried about her going hungry or anything like that. Just thought I would throw that in there. Visuals rule. Oh, also, please don't assume this is an inverted sneeze. It's not. Promise.

So yeah, of course I mention this to the vet I work for. We take x-rays of her chest. Since the chick taking them (think Jim and mohawk man rabble rouser) didn't do a very good job, they weren't all that conclusive. The vet sat and stared at these crappy exposures for about 30 minutes while enjoying his sesame seed pretzel sticks and then told me it's a possibility she has bronchial asthma. I would like to mention, before the x-ray ever took place, I answered "no, nothing is different except the strangled breaths" to if she had bouts of coughing, was she losing her appetite, has she had any change in her energy level and did she miss any heart worm preventatives. Then, I was told she should be treated for bronchial asthma with either antihistamines, steroids or bronchodilators or depending on how severe her condition is, all three. It was also suggested that were we to start treatment, and the cough went away, then we'd know what the problem was anyway. Am I the only one against this kind of thinking? Because it's starting to feel that way. Since when did treating the supposed illness, with medication that might be right, in hopes to remedy the problem we can't solve become the answer?

Of course I went home and as the client from hell does, researched all the offered treatments. Of course, with this new information under my belt, I don't want any of them applied. Seriously, go look them up. Creepy. I'm not into side effects. Of course I found the natural remedy of boosting her immune system and liked that better. So now I am going to start her on a natural immune boosting, airway opening treatment called AmazaPet. During my search for side affect free healing I also stumbled upon this Chinese herbal blend which aids in pain relief. I am going to start Jim on that one and see if it helps with his old dog pain issues. I don't even know why I ask the vet anything. Every time I do, it further reminds me that, for the most part, western medicine is shit. The last time I asked for help, was in regards to Tabitha's limp. Her foot was accidently smashed with Mr. F's foot during a romp session. We were told to keep her off it and offered sedatives and Rymadil when I scoffed at the notion of keeping an active puppy still for any length of time. No matter how much time we kept her off it, the limp never got better. I was unwilling to administer sedatives for obvious reasons. Have you seen the side affects of Rymadil which btw, just makes the dog unaware of the pain. A dog that is unaware of the pain, is a dog bound for even more pain. I asked if giving her Jim's glucosamine supplement might aid in swifter healing time and I was told that glucosamine has not been proven to work and would do nothing to help heal ligaments or tendons and I was again offered the pain reliever, Rymadil. I see. I reminded myself that this was also said about Jim's back pain and after ignoring their words and administering the "useless" glucosamine supplement, saw rapid improvement. As in one week later, able to jump onto things without yelping in pain, able to get into the car without assistance, able to go on walks without pain the next day improvements. Of course I started Tabitha on the supplement. Of course she was better in about a week. There has been no sign of a limp since. And all without the aid of Rymadil or sedatives. Go nature.

I guess I'll be willing to dump a bunch of white man poison into her if all natural concoctions fail. But I doubt they will. You know, I don't even blame the vets. I blame the idiot clients who put anything into their dog without ever considering what it might be or what it might cause. Shit, half the dogs I see need nothing more than a better diet. But here are all these people loading their dogs up with expensive chemicals that do nothing but mask the issue for the time being and create all types of other issues to deal with. But don't worry, there is always another pill to deal with the side affects of the last pill. Ignorance is bliss. Unless you're the dog dealing with an illness that is never actually cured. Gross.

Just in case you haven't been whipped into the frenzy I am now afflicted with, check out Shirley's Wellness Cafe. That should get you well on your way to Hysteria Land. If once there you run into problems getting around, just give me a shout. I have all the streets memorized.