What is this obsession of mine with torturing innocent people for no reason, other than to feel the warm comfort sadistic behavior offers me?
Take the example of old crotchety men. As soon as I see a quiet old man with a bad attitude, I become this SUPER cheery, outgoing, talkative, I need to be engaged with you at all costs type of person. The more they try to get rid of me, the more I am saying things like: You seem health conscious (they don't have to look even slightly healthy mind you). Do you work out? I do. I do Pilates. You know, the work out with the ball? Yeah that. Have you ever tried that? NO? Wow. You should. Check out how great it going for me... this is the point where I start flexing my arm like I'm Arnold and telling him to "go ahead and check out this girls guns!". I will go to extreme lengths to find an area where we "relate". Heaven forbid they end up behind me in a long line...
Then there are the customer service people that are assisting me while I play the song Taking Care of Business (Bachman-Turner Overdrive) a little to loud on a repeating loop. Do they even notice? One can really only hope.
When children are throwing a fit over getting something, I am inclined to make a compassionate face at the child and then say something to the mother like, "Oh, poor thing. Why not just let him have it?" and then continue on my way.
These are examples of my self imposed worldly undertakings. There are many more and as much as I would love to get into them, I am only blogging right now so as to empty my mind of one more question, and of course, to procrastinate. Mission accomplished. Ciao.
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