Side Note: I have never in my life seen pollywogs of this size. They are seriously massive and I thought it was just me, but today it was confirmed by my mother, so now we all know it's true. I might bring along a camera but how does one convince a pollywog to sit still so one can place an object next to it as a size reference just before taking a picture? This could call for a bucket. Or medication. Possibly both? Only time will tell.
Make up. Women wear it in excess. At points it's mask like and I personally think it's creepy. When I have asked these women why so much make up they always say the same thing in the same bitchy tone: You wouldn't understand, you don't need make up. Not only are they blatantly avoiding the question (making the make up more creepy if you ask me) but that statement is not helping me find an answer and simply dooms the next painted lady I come across. So much for taking one for the team. Now I'm not saying they're wrong, I just can't put "need" and "make up" in the same catagory. If the world is coming to an end, think Armageddon, and we are living outside like neanderthals catching our own dinner, I doubt anyone is going to be sweating crows feet. I also don't think prey will run any slower from you if you are wearing the prettiest blush color that not only emphasizes your cheek bones but really brings a healthy glow to your face.
Side Note: Did you know you can starve to death from eating only bunnies? Let that be a warning. It's better to have a well rounded and plentiful diet. Long live fresh vegetables! Oh wait...
I also heard someone mention bat guano (or feces) is used to make many cosmetics. Is this even true? The occasional use of lip gloss and mascara for when I am being treated fancy causes my pause when the google page comes up. I hate stupid gossip about stupid shit that may or may not be true and if it is true was better left unsaid.
People paying for their fetishes to come true. Where does the need derive from? Is it sometimes your shit freaks everyone out so much that you have to cover more ground than it's possible on foot OR are you so gank no one can find it in their freaky deaky open minds to appease this abnormal yearning? While searching CL for a quick money making side jobs I came across an add that I am now obsessing over. Some dude wants to hire chicks to press their shoes against his face while he licks them clean (the shoes that is). There is no sex, clothing permitted and he pays well. $250 for 2 hours. If you let him do this to your bare feet, he'll throw in an extra $100. Now, if you are willing to go as far as reading the script he has so kindly prepared for you, he'll throw in an extra $50. I'm guessing the last thing you want while licking someone's feet is for them to say something you don't want to hear. What a turn off. Otherwise you can opt out of the script (you know, if you feel uncomfortable reading out loud or something) and choose to read your own book silently, surf the web on your lap top, jabber on the phone with friends, or whatever else is possible while someone licks your feet. Beading can be done while someone licks your feet. Just throwing it out there. This dude is paying $400 for someone to read to him while he licks their feet. I can't get my head around this. First off, that's decent money to have your feet licked. Or is it? I'm not in the foot licking business or anything but I'm guessing this isn't some every day paid venture. I am thinking about emailing him with a list of questions. Do I get a picture of him? Can we meet for lunch first just to make sure we get along? We all know there's nothing worse than working with someone you hate. Can I bring back up? You know, just in case he changes his mind about the whole I'll treat you nice, I just need to fill my foot licking tank. I know my feet are a little bigger than he had hoped for (he throws in another $25 for 6.5 or smaller) so how's about the back up has size 6 feet? Can she get $25 too? What if he can look at her tiny bare toes while licking my shoes? Where does that take us? Are peep toes a bonus? If I wore some sexy strappy sandals that just barely covered my feet, would I have to remove them to get the $100? I also can't help but wonder if laughing between lines is an option. Is this a part time position i.e. how often is he looking to have this done? because I have a shit load of free time and a super open mind. I am also killer in regards to reading out loud. I pause to wonder, is it cheating if you get paid to have your feet licked? What if the lickee doesn't get off on being licked by the licker and promises to keep it very professional? Is there some fine (or not so fine line) crossed once you start taking side jobs like this? Just think about the potential! Even if you only had two foot licking sessions a week, we're talking an extra $800. Not so shabby.
If only we were all able to fulfill these secret fantasies from the privacy of our own homes...
Ah blogging. It's like a can for my brain trash.
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