The key project is FINISHED! Glory be eh? It was also presented to its rightful owner and appreciated beyond what the imagination could try and conjure up. Then it was shown off to my boss who picked it up by the “lock” part of it and of course it broke. After the fact so she has no idea it happened. Yet. Who does that? Idiot. I would henceforth refer to her as “dumb bitch” but I fear offending my readers to the point they might feel discomfort and I would never want such a thing to transpire. So, instead I will use DB. Perfect. All’s well that ends well because I fixed it and it’s back to whole and clever. You know it’s posted on my flickr account. If you want to see it start to finish, just go into the set labeled “Key Project”.
Let’s all have a moment of silence please… Jeffrey the fluffy footed quick like lightening dog tooth (as in Jim’s open blood seeking maw, not the small pointed ornament repeated along a molding consisting of four petals radiating from a raised center) avoider is dead. All that was left of him when I pulled into work on Monday was a pile of feathers that blew off down the street taking with it all that is safe and good. This is the feed stores THIRD rooster in a year. The last one was carried off by a bird of prey. Unlucky place for roosters is what I say. I’m going to miss the little guy. He kept me entertained on my breaks by throwing his doomed little back into his cockadoodle doos and also by taunting James through the chain link fence.
Speaking of the James, he is now a hardened criminal. I went to check out a trailer with my coworker (she was considering renting it as her commute is about 50 minutes each way) and parked the truck with all the windows down so my little friend would have a nice refreshing breeze while he waited. Once I was gone Jim decided to do what he never does and bailed out. He did this just as Animal Control parked his criminal transporter van to have a bite to eat. The roving pit bull looking dog (sans collar) was immediately prosecuted and put into the back of said van and off they headed to doggy prison. Well, lucky me. It just so happened that he spoke with the landlord right before she showed us the trailer and she inquired if either of us knew about the medium sized black dog running free without a collar on. I just happened to know all about him. We met with the authorities as he pulled into the parking lot and got Jim back safe and sound. No charge. Awesome. The ex convict jumped out of the van, said hello to me and started off in the other direction to pee on something. How embarrassing. How James. I love that dog.
The hummingbird feeders have been bought, filled and hung. I got some of that red feeder stuff to help attract the little biddies and once they are flocking to the feeder I will put in a simple sugar water mixture. As luck would not have it, I have a super aggressive male that keeps others from feeding. He’ll even bomb dive me when I get to close. I hate this little bastard with all my heart. I put one of the feeders further away so he can only keep a close watch on one of them but he’s trying his hardest to man both of them. Oh how I loathe him. He keeps everyone at bay. He batters every single hummer that dares to come into his territory. He gives a tiny roar and assaults each and every little flying jewel with a ferocity that is impressive (and rather irksome). I was sitting outside the other morning enjoying my first cup of coffee with Mr. Fantastic watching him give his little battle cry and viciously attack everyone trying to feed and it was giving my face that sour look, so Mr. Fantastic does what he was born to do (entj personality type and all that). He immediately took control of the situation and offered up his pellet gun. Can I shoot the pellet gun? Absolutely. Can I hit my target? Decidedly so. Can I morally justify gunning down a hummingbird? This one is still sort of hanging out there at the moment. I think Mr. Fantastic can morally justify annihilating anything provided it brings my smile back so I might take him up on that. Maybe he can do it while I make coffee so I won’t have to actually witness the slaying of innocents in the name of my happiness. Comments? Suggestions?? Last words to put into that little jerks mouth?
The place I am residing in finally resembles a home! I found a couch on CL (where else?) for $40 (VALUE!!) but once we went to pick it up it became very clear that I was once again giving my truck far to much credit. It was decided that I would go back up to Payson couchless and the man of the hour (every single hour, maybe even minute) would bring it up with the help of a pick up truck it would actually fit in. Excellent. Thursday was the day my happy little apartment came together and celebrated looking like an entire home. Now I have a place my nonexistent guests can sit. Jim loves it, I love it.
Okay, so check this out. The gym behind the casino has an indoor pool. HEAVEN! How much do I love swimming to keep in shape? This svelte body will be submersed four mornings a week. Not only does swimming work out every muscle but it also provides neurotic high strung people like me a kind of watery therapy. Also, I refuse to lift anything that even resembles a weight. I am not a masochistic muscle building freak. I like the way swimming keeps your body tight but it doesn’t make anything bulge. Streamline baby, streamline. There’s more. Guess how much a gym membership is in Payson? Uh, yeah, 35 bucks. As much as I know I am not staying, I still have appreciating for things like a $35 gym membership you know?
The job. Oh, the job. I’m not sure how long I am going to last there to be honest. I worked down the street for a day and I do appreciate that place far more. Maybe I can do a switch. DB is to controlling and insecure for the likes of me. Not only that but the shop she rules with her neurotic iron fist is chaos and mess. I cannot work in chaos. I like systems and cleanliness quite frankly. Also, I have the distinct feeling I can do better. So I can. I need DB to hold up to her word (which will be discussed on Tuesday in length) or I need a change. We’ll see how it goes. I need a copy of the three rules damn it! All I remember is “maintain the other persons self esteem”. Another excellent system that I have pretty much forgotten. F. It’s cool. I’ll call Mom and everything will be recorded so the next time there is no question of what is right. Good old Mom. HI MOM!! I LOVE YOU!!!
Do you know what is taking place as I type this out? Mr. Fantastic is putting in his mothers French doors. They were arcadia doors before this. What is this guy *not* capable of?? Seriously. What? I am a true lover of French doors so I think this is a wonderful decision. Worry not blog lovers, I have gotten pictures and it will be blogged. I’m thinking a nice little slideshow. But it’s going to have to wait (which to you means the end of this paragraph) so I can get it all on film… er… yeah… no. Also, for some reason I am unable to connect to the net here so I am going to have to go all the way across the parking lot and do it all before the show. Right, you don’t know about the show, do you? After this we are going to a motorcycle show or something like that with his dad and his dad’s girl. I’m pumped. I like his dad. The chick he dates scares me a little in that I’m an unpredictable psychotic killing machine if I don’t get my way, but whatever.
The family reunion party! Ha! I almost forgot didn’t I? I guess it wasn’t a family reunion; it was a party to celebrate someone’s marriage (divorce? AH HA!) but since it was mostly family there it was referred to as such. It was phenomenal. Fun fun fun. I have never in my life seen so many couples that were truly happy with each other. And these people had been together for years. That in itself made me wonder what the hell was going on. Other than that it was a drink fest with friendly people enjoying themselves immensely. I drank in the way beginning and then pronounced myself designated driver and watched drunk people do what they do best dead sober. Totally worth every clearheaded moment, let me tell you. James took full advantage of the situation grubbing for food, socializing with the resident dog Carlos and hunting in the surrounding woods. Prescott, AZ is such a rad little town and I am psyched I finally saw it. So it ended up being worth it in many different ways.
This drive has been such an awesome experience and just when I think it can’t get any better, it does. Fortunately for you, my reliable readers, I will keep you abreast.
2 comments:
digging the pad man. you're an inspiration! when i get home my house WILL be done!
key thing rocks too, how did you present it? mail or did he come visit?
It's waaaay easier when it's one room. I think when I finally get a house I am going to gut it into one huge room as to save time and energy when it comes to interior decorating.
It was presented in person as he came to visit. Awesome huh? Even I think it's rad.
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