I haven't been a very reliable blogger, have I? Just so you know, things are happening and everything is fine. I'm considering blogging tonight. I have been very busy shaving and washing other peoples kitties and the likes. The feeders (that's right! plural) are up and we have HUMMERS!!! There is also the coolest shelf you should know about. But you know, all good things come in time or whatever that incredibly annoying saying is that was divulged due to the fact that someone else didn't have the time to do something even though they should.
Until the next blog entry I'll leave you with a forgotten favorite. See, as a groomer I deal with some of the most neurotic pet people on the face of the planet. As much as I want to say they are also the most clever of people due to their insanity, that would be lying. Don't get me wrong here, some of them are crazy enough to be the most shrewd people I have ever met. Most are not. One of my favorite neurotic pet sayings that I had totally forgotten about usually happens when the frantic animal I am about to groom is screaming and trying to scrabble up everyone in the room or trying to dig its way through the door and the floor in a demented way. Only an animal owned by someone super neurotic could hope to produce this action and believe me, it's something to behold. When the animal reaches it's climax and things are clearly out of control and never getting any better
Side Note: Things could have gotten better. They might have gotten better had the owner simply dropped off the animal and left. The other option is to hang about while worrying in a manner that effects everything around them while freaking out and talking in a loud high pitched hyper voice all the while telling the dog that is losing it's fing mind how good it is and not to worry because mommy will be back soon! She knows her little baby who is so GOOD just loves it here at camp because at camp he gets so beautiful doesn't he? Yes he does! He does get beautiful! And everyone here loves her little baby don't they?? Yes they do!! Needless to say, this doesn't help at all and just shows the dog there is in fact some reason to have a melt down.
and the dog is now totally out of its little canine mind trying to get into our arms by boring a hole through our bodies. At this point the owner turns to me and says, "He thinks he's human".
Awesome. I'm not even sure how this fits the moment. Also, these are the times I am so glad I groom due to the humor factor but yet I'm always so bummed the person is there because if I start laughing hysterically, let's face it, I lose a client. Whoever thought of the word "professional" was undoubtedly the most grim person to ever live and I bet they couldn't get anyone to take them seriously. For a reason. Do you know how many responses you could come back with that are so appropriate but so not appropriate? I mean, when do they think they're human? When they are cleaning their crotch area with their tongue? Does everyone gather about their food dish on the floor at meal times to help this poor animals human thought process along or has it been taught to eat at the dinner table with flatware? No, seriously. I wish someone would enlighten me here.
I just want to be clear on one thing and one thing only when regarding my standpoint on dogs. They never ever think they're human. They will always believe they are dogs. Just like we never come to the assumption we are emus. If you disagree and have a valid argument, feel free to comment below and prove me wrong. But beware as you might simply end up looking a lot like the subject above eh? But don't be shy... either way, I want to hear it all.
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