We spoke of Jim's incredible lung capacity and his inability to shut his mouth no? Well guess who has been introduced to the citronella collar? For those of you that haven’t the slightest clue as to what a citronella collar is let me enlighten you. It is a simple box shaped contraption that goes onto a dog collar and corrects nuisance barking (or soulful extremely loud howling in this case) by spraying a noxious citronella mist into the animals face when the throat vibrates due to making noise. Shameful, we know. The down side is that we have to use it because *someone* finds it necessary to scream their head off every time I dare to leave the house with Mr. F (not to mention dogs loathe citrus). The up side is that when I arrive back to the quiet like a mouse house my (poor tormented) dog (alone, abandoned, unwanted) is at he smells pleasantly like citronella. It seems to be doing the trick and that is a winner all around wouldn’t you say? It is important that he learns to keep his muzzle shut as we will be residing here shortly (more in a minute here, don’t rush).
This is the face tyranny produces:
Yup, I said it. It would seem Payson is a big fat dead end. As much as I am enjoying the place I am residing in and as much as the weather is untouchable, the job is not what it was advertised to be. Yes, the same exact job that brought me to Payson is the same exact thing that shall drive me out. The payoff is proving to be very different than the CL ad said it would be. Also, DB is not all that business savvy so she hired to many people and now the work is dying out. Sadly, she could easily run the place with two people. Three if you absolutely had to have a bather. But there are six… yes, six people working in this tiny little shop. There will not be enough work come winter. It doesn’t really bother me as I am so much better than both the places in this town and I am done butchering dogs just because these two chicks are lazy and bad at what they do to boot. Just because you do something for 30 years, doesn’t necessarily mean you are doing it well, now does it? I have a job interview in Scottsdale tomorrow at 11:30 and since I am aware of my brilliance and capabilities, I know it is mine if I want it. Perfect. So then there’s the fact of where I shall reside. I’m going for it and moving down to Scottsdale with Mr. Fantastic. Don’t panic, that’s my job, remember? I’m feeling very very positive about this so don’t ruin it for me and just send good vibes my way or something. Thanks. This could be it folks, you simply never know where life is going to take you. I’m done guessing and I am going to live every day to my fullest knowing everything is going to work out exactly as it should. I am so sick of being worried about everything. Screw it. Failure is not an option. Smell that? That is what a raging success smells like. Breathe deep.
So, last Saturday me and Mr. F went up to his dad’s so he could fix his bike. I am totally getting a ride on this thing when it is done. Before we got to his dad’s house/shop we stopped so I could take some pictures of the cacti. I am always totally overwhelmed with the size of these things. They’re everywhere and it makes me think of a forest. Although instead of maple and oak trees, there are cacti. Since I had Mr. F with me I had him stand in front of the barbed beasts as a size reference. When looking at the picture, keep in mind he is six feet tall. And that cactus is easily overtaken by some of the other far taller cacti. Woah huh? The pictures were taken on the road to his father’s home and all the landscape is like that. I like the area where his dad lives a lot. I like his dad a lot. Both he and Mr. F are like walking sedatives and that’s something I can jive to since I am like a walking eight ball. While all the dirty mechanical things went on in the shop I read a book outside and lazed about quite contentedly until it was time to unload his mom’s old doors into the dumpster. They wouldn’t fit and breaking the glass became a project as it proved to be the strongest glass ever. I got to shoot a 45 for the first time in my life and did a lovely job of taking out the first door. All right, all right, I admit! Lovely is the exact wrong word to use. In fact, I was so nervous and freaked out that I ended up aiming, closing my eyes, shooting, jumping from the loud boom (don’t worry Ma, I had my ears protected!!) and kickback and then freaking everyone out by keeping my finger on the trigger (bad bad bad… always take your finger off the semi automatic trigger) while trying to get it together. It never fails to surprise me at how easily I can put that washed out we’re all going to die look on people’s faces. I like to refer to it as “my job” on occasion. So now I have it stuck in my mind that I really have to learn how to shoot so I am not a total fucking loser. I’m thinking about asking them if they’ll teach me. That way, I can be less embarrassed about the loser part until I get the hang of it. And maybe I’ll even get my own gun. This was supposed to happen a while ago, so don’t hold your breath. I know I’m not. Worst case, I get practice when trash doesn’t fit in the dumpster. Or I could just suck it the hell up, buy a gun and go to a range all ready. Jeez.
I found this bad ass caterpillar at dp (dog park) and when I went to check it out all the people at dp started yelling at the same time about poison, not soft to the touch, swollen body pieces and the likes. It was weird so I took the little guy home in Tupperware for further observation where I could concentrate with people not screaming at me. I guess two of the people at dp have touched this kind of caterpillar and the little spines injected a poison into them that swelled them up and caused great discomfort for days. Wild. But you know what? This thing *looks* like it could cause harm. It’s big, colorful and screams go ahead and eat me if you want to die. I was going to build it a nice little enclosure so I could observe it further and then see what it morphs into but once at Home Depot I felt horrid about taking it’s freedom, realized I needed more tools to build his new little home and bought a new plant instead. It’s a beautiful little fern btw. At home I put my threatening friend on a branch and snapped some super pictures of him. NG style. He hung out for the rest of the night and galumphed by me in the morning hours while I drank my coffee. I am satisfied with that.
Oh the night also yielded excellent results as my painted “flower pot” is finished and my plant has been placed into it’s new home. I have two other plants that need repotting and you know what that means don’t you? More painting. A girl has to keep busy, otherwise she is prone to droning on and on about the tiniest details of her life on her blog. And we wouldn’t want that now would we?
Ladies, am I the only one that wants to draw little cute pictures or sprinkle glitter on the girly when its time for the gyn visit??
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