CUT! Take 2

I have been slacking on sunrise lately but when I do make it (like this morning) I always stop at my favorite cult coffee shop before the show. They are always super polite and I get a little conversation going on but the other morning I was finally able to breach their walls and had a little convo with the old dude. We discussed the cold and how beautiful the morning is regardless and he even graced me with one of his glazed over, super calm cult smiles. I feel like this is a small success. I am going to get a tour of their home while acting like I'm considering joining them so they go all full throttle on me. It's going to be awesome. I have to get my list of questions together. Thing is, I doubt they'd take me. I'd want my own room, don't like sharing or taking orders, not to mention I come with two dogs. As much as these people are at a frightening level in my mind, I love how well rounded their kids are and I really dig their home made pastries. I really feel like I am cult material sometimes. It all just sounds so... simple.

Speaking of frightening even if it is more for me than anyone else, it has been proven the pearl can't handle patriotism on a very basic level. I always believed the "if a flag hits the ground you have to burn it" story until the recent going ons that forced me to look it up due to my pukey amounts of panic that kept building. The first situation was me coming home to a dog dragging a flag around the house. As if hitting the floor wasn't bad enough. No no, dog paw prints, dirt and drool all over it is so much better, let me tell you. I packed the flag up and promised to burn it as soon as I could find some alone time because I just don't see the benefit of making a spectacle out of burning a flag. Well, unless of course it could be made into a flag burning ho-down right? Who's with me!? A couple days go by and my mother is suddenly asking me if I know where the flagpole is. Like the flagpole isn't that 15' metal pole next to our house with a flag waving off the top and instead something that we can easily misplace, like car keys or TV remote. I don't know what's up with me and my blatant disregard for "wind" and how my mind makes it a total nonevent unless it comes attached to the title of hurricane or tornado. Maybe monsoon. No. I just tried to muster up something in regards to monsoon and I wasn't able. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that we somehow lost the fucking flagpole. It snapped and went... somewhere... during one of these super windy days we had. I was envisioning it smashing out my neighbors window which is right on the other side of the fence and having to be all wow, weird, i've never seen that flagpole before in my life, no that's not ours but hey sucks to be you and thanks for checking in, but we lucked out and it somehow flew over our fence and ironically enough landed next to the trash barrels with the second fucking flag of the week on the ground. Horror! Once the next flag was ripped off the pole I went on a massive internet search in hopes that I wouldn't have to have a flag burning and as it turns out, I thankfully don't have to. I'm not going to mention the condition of our flags and how they're not going back up onto anything so in all actuality I might have to burn them. I was thinking very late at night when the tide is going out and go for the good old fashioned viking funeral. I mean talk about "proper form of disposal" right? I just don't want to be all burning more than one flag in my backyard like it's no big thing. Shit like that never goes well for me no matter how cool I try to play it off.

I love hair conditioner and I just found out it works better when you towel dry your hair to slightly damp before applying it. I know, I know... mid-shower towel drying but whatever, do it, you'll see. Less flyaway is the goal here people. I have also fallen in love with hair conditioner because it's awesome for shaving cream. I'm not kidding and I don't remember how or why I figured that out, but highly recommended I'm never using anything else ever the end.

I really wish I could remember what the hell else was on that blog post but it's not happening. It's cool though cause honey badger doesn't care.