900 hours later, she got a quarter of the way through TX!

Why is Texas so fucking big? They need to cut this shit in half so the people driving across it can feel more accomplished. Nebraska needs to put that on the table as well quite frankly...

Okay! If I were to...

Design my own GPS unit...

It would have way better accents:

Lou Anne: "Hey ya'll! Yer exits comin' up purty soon! Ya'll are goin' to want to git on over to yer right to take that there exit!"

Gerome: "You be at a exit yo."

Latisha would have MAD attitude and everything would be a fight that was solved by offering up empty promises and child support: "Heeeeells nah! I ain't goin that way wit you fool!"

Mick: "Me thinks your journey could be better after a pint or two at the old Purple Shamrock! Here she comes on the right lad! Don't miss her! And beware of people who like cats!"

That manly Australian dude: "Oy mate! You missed your exit ya bloody wombat! You couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery!"

Also, the little car or arrow could be replaced with just about anything that would be way more fun to watch. A kid on a skateboard. Lou anne scantily dressed running full throttle. An armadillo. Seriously, anything.

My GPS would contain the normal points of interests like restaurants and gas stations but it would also have super fun things, like the largest ball of twine or a museum dedicated to dog collars. You would have the choice of random offers come up as you drive along or you could pick from a list along your route and be reminded once you were close.

TomTom beware. There could be a new improved GPS in town and it's going to kick your lame ass all over the place!

So pretty sure I'm in Odessa TX. The car is making this weird high pitched whistle noise when going straight once over 65 mph and it stops when I corner. Then at lower speeds, it makes this weird grinding/singsong noise when turning. How weird is THAT? It's freaking me out so now I have to find someone to help me figure it out tomorrow. I'm staying hopeful that it's just the power steering and I can limp it to AZ. But shit, I'm such a chick, how would I know?

Ah life...

I love Dave McKean. One because he illustrates for Neil Gaiman and I am OBSESSED with Neil Gaiman and two because he makes rad art. Observe: