Hello! Hi! Don't worry! I'm responsible! I got it!

I want to be all, yay my life is so fresh and exciting and just listen to all the things I have to share about my fun packed life and latest awesomeness that involves going all kinds of cool and interesting places"

but

really I just moved again and I keep staring at a bunch of boxes that need to be unpacked and then I go procrastinate until I finally look at a clock and realize I am probably just an insomniac

Although I have made the decision to just suck it the fuck up and head down the hotel closest to where I live because they have a pool and I will be able to do laps and practice holding my breath. Yes I have been warned about the place. There are "supposed" questionable addict types who live there and I "shouldn't trust the pool because the people who work there are probably stealing the chlorine just to fulfill their need to be criminals". But you know what? I am not quick to judge. After spending a night there I seriously don't think it's all that bad. The room was rather decent. The staff was creepy kind but so was I and I was the one rolling in at 2 a.m., he was just the dude fulfilling his duty as an employee. Oh yeah, and the lady across the way obviously lives there, considering all the plant boxes she had on her balcony, which I will add were full of beautiful annuals. BUT she was up at the crack of dawn, reading the paper, sipping her hot coffee. Smiling. And she had it in her to frown at me for bringing two large dogs out to shit on the lawn. But smiled when I picked it up, waved in her direction and held it up so she could see I was responsible and even mustered up a feeble wave back. And you know what? The deal was sealed right then. What kind of serial killer addict grows beautiful plants from their balcony, has a fresh cup o joe to drink and reads the paper first thing in the morning while looking down on others who they believe are less than them? Seriously. Even if it was the second floor and she really didn't have a choice. I looked one step from animal and once I got a glimpse in the mirror I was almost ashamed at what I saw. Until I started laughing at how absurd everything is all the time, but especially that morning. I was the one out in public walking my two mobster dogs wearing my men's size L tank top sans bra, filthy bell bottoms I had been wearing for days, and my hair was all windblown plus all bed head. So yeah, she can do whatever she wants with that vision. I'd give me the hairy eyeball too. You know... now that I am thinking of it, I bet she wasn't the least bit concerned with the dogs and was more than a little anxious about the mess of a girl who looked homeless and seemed obsessed with dog shit.

There was signs of other inhabitants that lived there and you know what? Whatever. I just want the indoor pool. If that means I have to make nice nice with a pack of drug addict serial killers so be it. Like that has ever stopped me before. By the time I'm finished I'm sure we'll all be best friends and I'll be considering moving in with one of them because we relate about things like dogs and religion.

But back to the pool... Laps. I am in incredible shape from swimming. I'm not ready to give that up and everything else that could keep me in shape just makes me all "meh". I'll get another one of those competitive swimsuits with the racing stripes that start at my vajayjay and I'm thinking about rocking my snorkel and mask for two reasons.

1.) No need to lift your head or ever worry about getting tired and therefor getting a mouthful of chlorinated water ever because lifting your head is a task when you are that tired. Sometimes I finish up with only my legs and keeping my head above the water is a chore let me tell you. This might seem obvious, but I can also practice going underwater and swimming about like I am back in the ocean. If you think I am not going to get tropical fish pool toys and take pictures for you, you don't know me one little bit and judging me for the top half of this entry is totally uncalled for. I want to keep my performance up because I will be going back to FL to dive my ass off when I don't think I can take one more fucking day of winter. Maybe even more than that. I miss diving so much it's a little ridiculous. It makes me cry. I have missed people less. Okay, bad example but you get the drift. Emotion. It's causing emotion.

2.) Yes, I can open my eyes in chlorinated water but it stings after a while so why do it? Why not just make it so I can see easily? Sometimes I really get into my lap, close my eyes and crash into the wall. I feel like this is a better solution. If it's just that I am tired and closing my eyes to somehow trick myself into thinking the lap is shorter I will come up with a better reason.

Wait, I just thought of another reason...

3.) Everyone has told me about the caliber of people that live there. Story goes it's the crazy caliber. It's seriously like we have our own version of The Hills Have Eyes only we are not out in the middle of nowhere and you never hear anything about it. Ever. So here's my take... you say crazy, I say bring it. These people don't even know crazy. If crazy to them is living in a hotel doing mountains of drugs and staying unemployed I have them beat by a landslide. I beat that kind of crazy by mere existence. If they want to have a crazy off, I'm in.